Thursday, March 1, 2007

What's A Mother To Do?

I'm in big trouble now! What you ask yourself, could I have possibly done that would get me in such big trouble. Well lest you forget, I am the mother of a Twelve year old...need I say more?

My co-girl scout leader and I decided to have an extra meeting, this Friday after school, in order to help the girls establish a time line for their Silver Award project. Foolishly, I offered up my house for the meeting. Now please note that in the past, Twelve liked when the meetings were at our house (I think it gave her a sense of control). In fact, in the past she has complained that too many of our meetings were at my co-leaders house...and she wondered why we couldn't just have everyone come to our house.

So...foolish me... I assumed that Twelve, of course, would still feel this way (after all she was complaining about a meeting we had a few weeks ago at someone elses house). Well, Twelve sat down across the table from me tonight and told me that she did not want the meeting at our house. She said that she didn't want all of these girls touching her things (somehow the dining room table has become one of her things). She told me that she is walking home alone and will not join the other girls on their walk here, and that she wants to have the meeting up at the park. Then she stormed upstairs and has now disappeared into her room, where I am sure that she is mumbling about what a terrible mother I am, and how dare I invite these girls into "her" home without asking her if it would be all right. My head is spinning...I feel a headache coming on... and I know that tomorrow will be a continuation of today...and the meeting will be full of melodrama (Twelve's) and stress (mine). What's a mother to do?


Renee said...

OMG! This is what I have to look forward to??? I'm so not ready. LOL

I'm sure that everything will be just fine. but until then...grin and bear it.


Joan said...

Apparently one of the many talents Twelve assumes you have is the ability to read minds...hers particularly. Maybe you need to assign some homework to her...tell her to make two All the Things Mom Should Do list and an All the Things Mom Shouldn't Do list. Then when she thinks you've made some egregious error, point out the lists and remind her she didn't include it on either one. :-)

only oldest said...

Cuz, all I can promise you is the next 7 years of complete confusion. Nothing is guaranteed to be a sure thing and you just have to dance around the minefield and hope you keep your balance and sanity until this phase is over.

We will be sympathetic and support for you.

patches said...

I like Joan's suggestion. Make sure she dates the list, because the contents of both lists will change weekly. The irony of this is, had you bothered to ask all the "right" questions regarding this extra meeting, she still might have gone off, because you were asking sooooo many questions. Good luck and remember this too will pass and then she will be sixteen!

Cherie said...

Have you been peeking into the windows of MY house??


Drama of the Twelve - Stress of Mom.

Grin and Bear it is good advice from Renee. Keep as calm an environment in your home as possible, remember what it's like to be twelve, and thoroughly enjoy the easy times. Oh, and the old favorite, Pick Your Battles, right?

That's what I do. Worked with my older daughter, works for my eleven year old. Worked for my grown sons, too.

Love your blog!!

Lynn said...

Renee - I'm sure that Darly will be the ONE twelve year old (in the universe) who gives you absolutely no grief...hopefully

Joan - What a great idea...I will assign the lists to Twelve tonight.

Only Oldest - Great, 7 more years...ACKKKKKK.

Patches - You are so right...if I had asked the 'right' questions I would have been accused of giving her the third degree!

Cherie - The home environment would be so much calmer, if Twelve would mellow out! Unfortunately, I do remember what it was like to be twelve... and she is just like I was...thanks to my mom and dad and their parental wish "that someday I have a daughter just like me!, I get to experience twelve all over again from the other side.

only oldest said...

Lynn, I it's nice to see that you understand that Mom's wish that you go through what she went through is being fulfilled.

Just remember what your cousin F went through with his son M.

I know it's tough not knowing if you are saying the right thing, but I also know you and sooner or later you are going to look 12 in the eye and say these magic words "I have just about had enough - just remember I am the parent". I can still hear mom saying those words.

Pam said...

Ahhh, yes... the magical age of 12.... just keep laughing inside and eventually you'll both be laughing together about these moments.