His Family

I was reading Leanne's blog the other day, and was grateful to read that she has come up with a name for "messy house syndrome". She calls it ' walk-in-the-house-and-drop-everything-wherever-you-want-itis'.

I am so happy that this disorder has a name, because my family suffers from this syndrome. In fact, we have a bad case of it...with no remedy in site.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. My DH's family has decided that they want us to host the family holiday get together this year. Mind you, I always host the get together for my family and friends (because they are all normal down to earth people). My DH's family are a different breed.

They all have exquisite taste (as does my DH, which is why he chose me to marry. lol) Fortunately for them, they have the money to match their expensive taste. Each one of their homes is a showcase. From tastefully decorated rooms to beautiful granite, lovely tile, and designer furniture...well I think you get the idea. The thing is, I always feel as if I am walking into a model home, or a museum, when I enter their houses. I can never get totally comfortable. When Elle and Ten were younger, I always worried that they might make a mess and "gasp" possibly spill something on the furniture or floor. Heck I still worry about it. I worry that I will somehow do something that might inadvertently shatter the perfectness of their houses.

My house, on the other hand, is decorated in the "lived-in" style. From our tile which is coming up in places, to carpeting (which needs to be replaced), and furniture that the kids have spilled who knows what on, all the way to the kitchen and bathrooms that need to be remodeled. We live in all of the rooms of our house, and it shows. While I envy, at times, the museum quality of some of DH's relatives homes, I prefer the comfort of mine.

I realize that this all sounds well and good, but here is the catch. Every time that DH's family comes over, I feel like they are turning their noses up, and looking down at us. While their houses are organized and clutter free, my house it a disorganized cluttered mess. No matter how much I try to keep it neat, I just can't. I have what is known at the 'drop and go' syndrome. It's where I come into the house and put things down right before I have to turn around and rush out of the house. My DH always says that I should put things back where they belong, which is easy for him to say since he isn't the one responsible for providing taxi service.

I know that I desperately need someone to come into my house and throw out 85% of the clutter that is there. I need someone to remind me that I don't need to save: old toys, clothes, books, games which we no longer use. For some reason, I find it hard to part with all of this "stuff". Consequently, not everything in my house has a place, hence the DVD's are on top of the T.V. cabinet. There are piles of mail on the kitchen counter. Lest you think it is only me, there are socks that Elle and Ten seem to like to leave lying around on the floor in both the living room and family room.

A few years ago, when we had fires burning right up the street, I loaded up my van at 1:30 in the morning with the stuff that was really important (other than the family and dog):clothes for a few days, medicine, photos, important papers, the tower from our desktop. Nothing else really seemed that important, at the time. So why oh why do I insist on keeping all of this stuff?

Wait a second, this post wasn't going to be about my clutter, it was supposed to be about how worried I am that DH's family is coming over for a holdiay celebration. I am already cringing at the though of their looks of superiority when they come into my house. This weekend, I will try to reduce the clutter downstairs, and pray that they won't want to come and see the upstairs of the house.

I don't know what to do about my feelings of inadequacy. My feelings of embarassment. My worry that they will proclaim our house a 'slum', not in the true sense of the word, but compared to their homes. I worry that their feelings of disdain will come across loud and clear.

Both Elle and Ten have friends who live in beautifully decorated/remodeled homes. They are not blind, and can see the differences for themselves. Elle and Ten know that if I were to work full time we could afford to have our home looking more pristine. They also know that I work part-time so I can pick them up from school and take them to their various activities. The kids know that they are our priority...much more so than having a showcase for a home. I have asked Elle and Ten if they would prefer to have a home with granite countertops and new flooring, or do they prefer having me home for them. Both of them, without hesitation, chose having me at home for them. (yeah for values)

Then why after all of this rambling, am I worried, embarassed, and feeling inadequate about what his family will think?