I Need Back-Up

If you read this post, and it is not yet 11am PST Friday June 1st, please send some good thoughts my way, as I face off with my bosses boss, and try to rectify the mess that they made of my assignment for next year.

If 11am PST has already past, then please send some support my way...just in case. And if you happened to have heard a loud scream sometime after 11amPST Friday June 1st, well, let's just hope that it didn't come from me.

And if the day isn't stressful enough as it is...there is a Girl Scout meeting in the afternoon. Oh golly gee...I can hardly wait...

Logic Defied...continued

To expand further on yesterday's post...School #4, that would be the school that I do not want to return to next year, informed me that I no longer have a room to work in. That's right, no place for my Federally mandated services to be provided. While school #2, that would be the school that my idiot boss took away from me, has a room for me to work in that contains a desk, phone, and internet access. Go figure...

I am trying to figure out how best to present my case to my bosses boss during our meeting on Friday. You can be sure that I will mention that I have no place in which to provide therapy at school #4...that should be enough to sway her...shouldn't it?

The Logic Defies Me

Can anyone come up with a logical answer to this question? Why would a boss ask someone to rank their schools in order of preference ( with #1 the school you want to keep the most), and then take away the persons second choice and leave them with their first, third and fourth choices? Just asking...

I'm Baaaack!

Well I've returned from the silent retreat, renewed, refreshed, and ready to take on the world. O.K. maybe not the world, but certainly my life. It was an amazing experience. Meditating, praying, singing/chanting (that part wasn't silent). Time to exercise, time to draw (thanks again Patches for suggesting the drawing pad), time to pray.

The food was divine. I can honestly say that I have never tasted better food anywhere in my whole life! It was all vegetarian (which was great for me). The first night we had bowtie pesto pasta with baby tomatoes. I have to tell you, these were the best tasting tomatoes I have ever had... Sweet, juicy...delectable. They served a salad with fresh veggies, in which each veggie was colorful, crisp, and full of flavor. Each meal after that one, was even better than the one before. As I sit here and write this, I am salivating at the memory of how the food tasted.

I slept better than I've slept in years! Waking up before the alarm, feeling refreshed, and ready to start the day. It is hard for me to believe that it was only two days...the peace, and calm I currently feel certainly had to have taken months or years to achieve, yet it was only two days (wow).

For me, the challenge will be to maintain that calm when dealing with the realities of my life. I have always pictured a cool mountain lake, when I have wanted to find a calm, quiet place in which to go, now I can picture the retreat.

Twelve, my mom, and my dog were happy to see me. DH and Ten are at a movie, and don't even know that I've returned, (how's that for being able to gradually acclimate back into my life)... DH and Ten should be home soon, so I will post this now...and visit all of your blogs to catch up on what's been happening for the past few day. I can't wait.

My Bag Is Packed, I'm Ready To Go...

(sung to the tune of Leaving On A Jet Plane)
My apologies to John Denver and to my blog friends…I never claimed to be a lyricist.

My bag is packed.
I’m ready to go.
I sitting here with my computer.
I hate to turn it off and say goodbye.

But the clock is ticking,
I’m feeling forlorn.
Won’t even be able to blog come dawn.
Kiss the hubby, kids and say goodbye.

Chorus:
Cause I’m leaving for the retreat
I hope that my time there is sweet.
Oh I’m so scared to go.

There are so many things for me to learn.
So many things, now it’s my turn.
to try to put them all into practice.
When I come back I’ll post about it.
I just hope my kid handle that,
I’m away for two days and two nights.

Chorus:
Cause I’m leaving for the retreat
I hope that my time there is sweet.
Oh I’m so scared to go.


Now the time has come for me to leave you,
One more time I’ll bid you adieu.
In 48 hours I’ll be back to stay.
I’ll read up on, all your news
Maybe my sister, will have bought more shoes.
And I’ll catch up on the things you have to say.

Chorus:
Cause I’m leaving for the retreat
I hope that my time there is sweet.
Oh I’m so scared to go.

Have a great weekend;~)

Twelve is Having a Pity Party

Monday night, Twelve asked me to sign her progress report for Science. It listed all of the assignments, quizzes and tests for the past month, including points earned out of possible points. The progress report looked great 2/2, 10/10, 25/25. Lots and lots of 100% on assignments and quizzes. I was feeling pretty good that Twelve learned her lesson from the last report card and was really putting out the effort. That is, until I looked at the very last entry on the list.

That's right #25 on the bottom of all of the assignments was an entry for a test which Twelve had in science class last week. Is anyone out there surprised that Twelve had a test in science last week? Cause, I am. Yep, I had no idea. Why did I have no idea? Probably because I'm a terrible, uncaring mother. No, I'm not you say...well then I'll tell you why I had no idea that Twelve had a test...it's because, SHE DIDN'T STUDY. That's right, you read me right, Twelve did not study for her science test last week. Bad choice she made!

One would think that after the last incident and ensuing fallout, that Twelve would have made sure that she studied for this test. Evidently she decided that playing on the computer and 'I.M.ing' her friend was far more important that studying. I'm mean, like hey...which would you rather do? Really who could blame her for choosing the fun route instead of the studying route.

Oh wait...I can blame her. Yes, me, moi, I hold Twelve fully accountable for her decision not to study for her test. Me...a front-line contender for the 'Worst Mom of the Year Award'. So, what did I do? No, I did not take her door off the hinge. This time I did something that feels, for the moment, far worse to Twelve... I took away her computer privileges.

That's right, she is not allowed on the computer, until she studies for the next test. Man, oh man...she is royally p.o'd at me right now. She had whined, tried to negotiate with me, and told me how unfair I am...and that was just in the last hour. Twelve went so far as to tell me that even the smart kids did poorly on this test. She seems to be missing the point...which is that her non-studying is the reason that she may not use the computer.

It is certainly a 'red-flag' day at our house.

Things Are Looking Up

I read a post this evening, by Arm, and it was so funny, that it pulled me out of my funk! What a difference a day makes...24 little hours...(we're in trouble now...I'm singing a commerical). Anyway, this afternoon DH called me to tell me that he got an email from his boss stating that DH will be getting off at 1pm on Friday. I was so relieved, because this meant that DH would be available to take Ten to his playoff game on Friday night, and that I would be able to get to the retreat on time... one problem solved...

Then I checked the playoff schedule...the playoff game isn't THIS Friday night...it's NEXT Friday night. All of that worrying and stressing for nothing. OOOPS!

I listened to Patches, and bought a sketchbook to take with me on the retreat. I'm wondering what kind of pencil I should buy to use in my sketchbook. Would a regular #2 lead pencil work? Regular colored pencils? Is there some special pencil that I could buy that would come with talent included? You know...talent that would allow me to draw something that doesn't look like an untalented 5 year old drew it. That's the kind of talent I'm talking about.

SIGH...so, two of the things that I was stressing over...getting Ten to his game, and what could I do at the retreat to fill the time...have both been resolved...thank goodness!...Yep, things are definitely looking up.

Caution...Whinefest in Progress

I'm in a funk right now. My hormones are raging. I just finished my period 1 week ago, and could swear that it is about to start again...any minute. I would warn everyone that this is a 'code red', however, I'm feeling too crappy to give a shit.

I am exhausted. I started a second job last week, as if I wasn't stressed out enough from the first job, with hopes that I will make enough money during this next month so that I don't have to work summer school this year. That is my goal, and I believe that it is somewhat realistic. The problem is that for the next month, I will be rushing from job#1 to job#2 and then rushing to pick up Ten at school. (This leaves no time for lunch, and no time to run errands before I have to get him).

The afternoons and evenings, this week seemed to be filled with activities, which will leave me no time to relax. Today after job #1 and #2, I picked Ten up from school and had to rush him home to get him ready for a swim party (during which I acted as the lifeguard). Then we rushed home and Ten had to get changed to go to flag football practice. We are equally busy Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Friday, I am supposed to go on a 2 day retreat. Turns out that Ten has a baseball playoff game from 5-7 that night. He needs to leave our house by 4 to get there on time. DH doesn't get home from work until 7:30pm most nights. I am supposed to be at the retreat sometime before 5pm. Have no idea how this will all play out, as DH has to leave work early on Thursday night for 'open house' at Ten's school.

I want to bite someone's head off! I am in a pissy, crappy mood. I'm very nervous about the retreat...(I won't know anyone there). I also afraid of having 2 days in which I am supposed to...well, I don't really know what I am supposed to do during the retreat. That frightens me. I am used to making lists of all that I have to do...but I can't make a list of what I'm going to do at the retreat, because I don't know what should go on the list. In case you haven't noticed, I don't do well when I am not in control.

I know that sometime during this crazy week I should pack up some: pj's, toiletries, and a change of clothes for the weekend...but right now I just want to bite somebody's head off!

Oh yeah...this is my 100 post...whoopdeedo...(said with as much gusto as a bowl of limp spaghetti).

Is It A Big Deal, or Not?

I'm not sure what I want to write about today. I have two different thoughts...I can either write about my experience with sticky labels, or ask opinions on what if anything I should do for my 100th post (this is post #99).

If I were to talk about labels I would tell you that while in the grocery store the other day, Twelve and I spotted some plastic bowls that we thought would be great for cereal. I proceeded to buy 6 of them. When I got them home, I was going to put them in the dishwasher, before the first use. Oh wait, I looked at the bottom of the bowls and what did I see? You guessed it, there were sticky labels with the 'code' for the check out stand stuck with, what I'm thinking was crazy glue, onto the bottom of the bowls. Why, oh why, do stores feel it necessary to permanently affix their stickers onto their products. These bowls were $1 each. The amount of elbow grease and time that I needed to use to get the darn labels off was disproportionate to the value of the bowls. Reminds me of the time that I bought a picture frame, and needed to use nail polish remover to get the label off of the glass. Does anyone have an answer?

If I were to talk about the fact that my next post will be my 100th, I would ask what, if anything, I am supposed to do to mark the milestone? Is 100 posts really any big deal? What about 150, 250, 500, 1000? If you've reached 100 posts, please let me know what, if anything you did...and if you haven't reached 100 posts, what if anything do you plan to do?

Oops...The Devil Made Me Do It

While listening to my favorite radio station this morning, I heard that Paris Hilton will definitely be serving some time behind bars (as in the slammer). She will not be mixed in with the general population, but will have her freedom restricted while she is in the pokey.

I figure that Paris is thinking "Gee, I wish I hadn't done that. I wish I could turn back time and erase what I did". (actually she's probably just pissed off that she got caught, and that her lawyers didn't get her off...but I digress).

However, it got me to wondering... is there anything that you've done (where there would have been consequences (if you'd gotten caught), or there were consequences...where after you did it you thought to yourself, "Gee, I wish I hadn't."?

Sometimes It's the Small Things That Mean So Much

I had a tough meeting with a parent today at one of my schools. Mother walked into this meeting angry at everyone and everything. I think the bottom line is that this mother is angry that her high-school aged daughter has learning disabilities and while the school has developed a program that is helping her daughter, it has not 'fixed' her daughter.

I take my job very seriously. I take pride in what I do. I love working with students who have communicative disorders, and I know that I do a great job helping them.

This mother hated my report, which surprised me, because her daughter is doing well and no longer qualifies, or needs, my help. This is supposed to be a good thing, however, since her daughter still has other problems, mother came into the meeting ready to argue about everything. Her anger and mistrust were really clouding her ability to be open and hear that her daughter has made significant progress and no longer qualifies, or needs, my services.

I watched the mother during this meeting. Questioning everyone about every little thing that they did to assess her daughter. She clearly was angry and mistrustful. So I offered to test her daughter in a different area of communication , and I asked the mother if she would be willing to sit in the room while I test her daughter. That way, she can see the test as it is being given, she can observe her daughters responses, and then I will go over the results with the mother. I wanted to reasssure the mother, that I am not trying to hide anything, and that truly I am also an advocate for her daughter. Mother slowly warmed up to the idea, and by the time we had scheduled an appointment for me to assess her daughter, she felt much happier.

It amazes me, that for me to do such a small thing (offer the mom the opportunity to watch me test her daughter) which is no big deal to me, (as I have nothing to hide), hopefully helped this mother know that I am not the enemy, that I am not trying to cheat her daughter out of services, and that I am a professional who wants what is best for her child. I am hopeful that after the mother sees what I do, that she will trust me, and the testing that I do.

And I think, that maybe, just maybe, this mother will walk away from the situation feeling more comfortable with the progress that her daughter has made.

Is It That Important?

I was listening to the local radio station this morning, and the D.J. posed this dilemna, which I now pass onto you.

If you were in a hurry to get somewhere, is there some item, that you just couldn't do without, something that you would return home for...even if it would make you late?

For me, the answer would be either my wallet or my cell phone. Although I will admit that one time I accidentally left my cell phone at home, and I didn't return for it, but boy did I feel like I was missing something the whole day.

Ready or Not, I'm Here To Help?

Sometimes I think that I'm a failure as a mother. Here's why...

I have a friend who is very involved in her children's school work. She always looks up her children's assignments on the school web site, that way she knows when projects are due and what tests are coming up. She will then sit down with her children and help them with their homework, projects, and studying for tests. She often says things such as 'I have a project due in History, I have a test coming up in Science.' When I hear these things I think what does she mean by "I"? As far as I can tell, she finished school a long time ago. I know that she means that she needs to sit at the table with her children and make sure that they do their homework, project, or studying correctly. Her children are both doing very well in school, one could say that they are certainly living up to their potential.

I can't necessarily say the same about Ten and Twelve. While they both do well in school, I don't think that either of them is working up to their full potential. I know that I never did, and I can't help but wonder, what would happen if I sat with them and helped them with their homework, school projects, and studying, without them asking me for the help? Would they resent my intrusion into their work? Would I resent the time I would be spending helping them? I don't mind taking the time to help them, when they request the help. At times I offer the help. However, my feeling is that if either Ten or Twelve need help with an assignment, that know that all they have to do is to ask me for it.

Sometimes (like today) I worry that the reason that I don't rush see what they are doing is because I am too busy doing something else (like blogging, reading a book, or talking on the phone). So when they tell me that they have completed their homework, and ask me if they can go on the computer , I take what they say at face value. I ask if they have any questions about their homework, or if there is something that they didn't understand and want me to explain, but I don't insist on sitting with them, looking over their shoulders, making them do the work right. I figure if they don't understand a concept, they will ask me for help, if not then the teacher will see the mistakes in their homework and will correct them in class.

Sometimes I wonder if I am harming Ten and Twelve, by not insisting on helping them, whether they want the help or not. Am I setting them up to fail in the future, by not insisting that they live up to their full potential now? Or am I raising two children who will in the long run, be responsible, independent adults?

One Huge Step Closer To Being Done!

Just have to report that the Silver Award event, that my Girl Scout troop put on, is now officially over, finished, completed, done and I am exhausted.

This whole year, my troop of Cadette Girl Scouts has been working on their Silver Award. They worked hard to complete all of the prerequisite requirements, and started working on the actual event, known as Thinking Day, the beginning of this year. It has been a long, arduous process in which many obstacles had to be over come...(including the Flinger incident and ensuing fall-out).

Each one of the girls worked hard to complete their portion of the event. Some of the girls worked harder (Twelve and her friend Eventempered). Some worked less hard. However, all together each girl needed to put in 30 hours (not including the prerequisites) directly toward the planning and execution of the event.

Ummmmm, let's see there are 8 girls in the troop, and each girl had to earn 30 hours...well, I'm too tired to do the math, but as you can well imagine, my co-leader and I had to put in a boat-load of hours. It was tough, nagging not only our own daughters, but everyone else's daughters into putting in their hours and getting their work done. It was a huge undertaking, most definitely exhausting, and one that I will not repeat again in this life time.

So now it's done. Seven of the eight girls in our troop earned their Silver Award. Unfortunately the 8th girl did not put in the hours needed towards her award. Now all that is left for me to do, is to buy the actual Silver Award pins, have an end of the year picnic to hand out the awards, and then Girl Scouts is done for the year.

I know what you're wondering, has the successful completion of this event changed Twelve's mind about being done with the troop????? Absolutely not! She is done, I am done and we are done.

Here's wishing you a Happy Healthy Mother's Day!

Are You My Mother...No, But I Could Be.

Today, I stopped at a local supermarket to buy some items for a Mother's Day Brunch. I was standing in the produce department admiring (yeah, right) the tomatoes, and trying to decide which kind of tomato would slice the best to put onto sandwiches. (Pick the wrong kind and the sandwich becomes all soggy, or the tomato tastes like hard cardboard.)

Clearly this quandry could only be resolved by someone knowledgeable about the subject. I looked around and noticed a man (actually I noticed the back of him...and what a nice back he had) working in the area. So, I approached him.

When he turned around I had to take a step back. Other than my dh (of course, love you honey;~)), this was the most adorable young man, with incredible big brown eyes that I have ever seen. (and believe me, I have seen quite a few). There was not a flaw on his perfect face. His eyes were light and danced as we discussed the pros and cons of various tomatoes. (who would have thought that tomatoes could be so interesting). My heart fluttered, my pulse raced, I felt young again. And then...well, and then I heard the screech of brakes as my brain realized that this fine young specimen of a man could be my son.

When exactly did that happen? When did I go from a young woman to a middle aged hag. (O.K. hag is probably to strong of a word, but I feel so unattractive right now). I used to feel the attraction to and from men when I was younger...now I doubt that I could attract anyone. It's not that I've let myself go that badly...I mean o.k. 20 extra pounds, but what's with the wrinkles? The bags under my eyes? The haggard look that I see when I look in the mirror. When did everyone suddenly become younger than me?

How did I go from feeling young and sexy to feeling old and unattractive? Where did the time go?...and how come I am now old enough to be this young man's mother? Oh, and if you're wondering...he recommended Roma tomatoes.

Silence is Golden...or Silent Day, Silent Night

O.K., so I took everyone's advice and I signed up for the retreat. I know that it is something that I really need to do. I know that I have the potential to learn so much that weekend. As Patti said, it will give me a chance to 'recharge my batteries.'

So, I called the retreat office and a very nice lady answered. (at least that is what I thought when she answered the phone) I told her that I wanted to sign up for the retreat. We had quite a lovely conversation, and since she spoke with such a soothing tone, I started to feel my whole body relax. Until, as an aside, she said "You realize that this is a silent retreat?"

Whoa! Stop the presses! A silent what? What exactly does silent mean? Does that actually mean that I/me/moi/yours truly will not be allowed to speak? They can't mean me! I am the women who hides my shyness/nervousness with funny/witty remarks. How am I supposed to cope with those feelings, if I can't joke about them? Does this woman mean silence during meals?...or silence all of the time? What will happen to me if I accidentally speak... will I get fined for each word that I utter? Does talking in my sleep count?

For those of you that don't know me, that would be all of you except my sister and cousin, I will tell you that I love to talk. I talk all of the time, whether it's to myself, or to stranger's on the street. Speaking is in my blood. Don't get me wrong, I am also a very good listener, but I do believe that talking, sharing, communicating is extrordinaryly importance. I have felt this way all of my life. As a result, I chose a profession where communication, specifically communication disorders, are my focus. I get paid to talk. Not to give speeches, but to talk with students and help them become better communicators. Yet, this woman, with the very soothing pleasant voice, is telling me that it's a silent retreat that I have just signed up for.

OMG. What have I gotten myself into?

To Retreat or Not To Retreat?...That is the Question.

I have the opportunity to go on a spiritual retreat in a few weeks. I am undecided.

On one hand I certainly could use the time to relax, retreat, and rejuvenate. On the other hand, I would be away from my family from Friday night to Sunday afternoon.

I would love to go...but I feel like I am so unworthy of the spiritual teachings which will be imparted.

I would love to learn some more stuff...but I'm afraid that I will look like a fool.

I'd love some time to focus on just me...but it's been so long, I'm not sure I would know how.

If I went, I would miss my kids...I don't know if the price I would have to pay for being gone would be worth it.

SIGH...if I am indecisive long enough, the deadline will pass and it will be too late to sign-up.

Wikipedia Meme

Oh boy. Another tag by my sister, Joan. This was a tough one because I had to actually do some research. (I think that she is getting back at me for referring to her as my 'dear old sister'). So here's the story, I am supposed to go over to Wikipedia, type in the month and day of my birth, and then post three events that happened on that date in history, two people who share my birthday and one person who died on that day.

*****Please note that my sister had a Wikipedia logo picture here, but I can't seem to figure out how to upload it ;~( *****

My birthday is November 25 (and no, I am not saying which year)

On this day in history:
1758 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania was founded.
1947 - The Red Scare: The "Hollywood Ten" were blacklisted by Hollywood movie studios.
1963 - President John F. Kennedy was buried.

People who share my birthday:
1712 - Charles-Michel de l'Epee- A French philsopher who developed Signed French. (I went into my chosen field because I wanted to work with Deaf and Hard of Hearing children, and I've studied, not Signed French, but American Sign Language.
1960 - John F. Kennedy, Jr. - American Publisher and son of President John F. Kennedy (Isn't it sad that his father was buried 3 years later on his birthday)

Someone who died on this day:
1968 - Upton Sinclair, American journalist, politician, and writer. (I read his book 'The Jungle' in school)

O.K. so this wasn't as hard to do as I thought it would be...who to tag??? How about Patches, Patti, and Arm. Let's see what happened on your birthdays.

It's A Matter of Time

DH and Ten were supposed to leave at 10am to go on an overnight adventure, at a wild animal park, with a group called "Trail Blazers" (through the YMCA). Although there are six boys in the tribe, only four were signed up to go to this event. As of yesterday, two of the four boys, and their dads, dropped out.

All week my DH has been telling everyone who would listen, that he and Ten were going to leave "No later than 10am!" The reason he picked 10am is that it is about a 2 hour drive to where they are going, and traffic becomes a nightmare the later you leave. (If it was up to me, I would have left by 8am, but that's just me.)

Here it is, 11am and they just left. Why, you may ask did they just leave, when DH was adamant all week that they were going to leave by 10am? Well, I'll tell you. DH, received a phone call about 9:45 this morning from the one other dad in their tribe, who will be going to the overnight event. The other dad, we'll call him "M" asked if they wanted to drive down together. DH said that he wanted to leave by 10am, and M said they would be by shortly.

So DH and Ten put everything by the front door, and proceeded to wait, and wait, and wait. Phone calls were made to M who kept saying, "we're leaving in a few more minutes". Finally at 10:55am I told hubby that I didn't think that they should wait anymore. I reminded DH that Ten has a baseball game tomorrow at 5pm. The only time that they will have to enjoy the park is today, since they will have to leave early tomorrow in order to avoid the weekend traffic and get back here before Ten's game.

Now it is 11:10 and M who was supposed to be here 1 hour ago, just showed up. I explained that DH and Ten just couldn't wait any more and that they left about 15 minutes ago. If M would have just told DH 1 hour ago that he wouldn't be able to "get it together" to leave until 11am, then DH could have made a decision based on accurate/honest information.

I have no patience for people who are so self-centered that they think the universe revolves around them. These are the very same people who are always late and don't care... they have absolutely no respect for other people. For M to keep DH and Ten waiting because he just couldn't get it together is unfair. For him to show complete disregard for DH's and Tens time schedule, by lying about leaving in a few minutes, when clearly he was nowhere near ready to go pisses me off. I can't stand people like that! I hope he gets eaten by an animal!

Oh No, Not Another Girl Scout Meeting

This afternoon, the girl scouts in the troop will be picked up from school. My co-leader and Eventempered's mom are set to pick the girls up at the flagpole. Twelve had informed me a few days ago that she would not get into a car with any of the other girls. Oh, no not again..I thought.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to take a walk with Twelve. She told me that she wouldn't get into a car this afternoon with any of the girls from the troop, because they all hate her. I asked her why she thinks the girls all hate her. She said "They all hate me because they blame me for "Flinger" not being in the troop anymore." You know what... Twelve is right. The other girls in the troop do hate her because they blame her. What makes it even worse is that I was the leader to kick Flinger out of the troop, not my co-leader. So Twelve gets the double whammy...and all of the hate.

Which leads me to the way that I am feeling right now. I am extremely pissed off at my co-leader for wimping out and not taking care of the Flinger situation. She put the total burden on me because "She was too much of a wuss to stand up and do the right thing. She was too much of a wimp and unwilling to stand up for my daughter, unwilling to be a leader." (when the going got tough, she ran the other way). It also bothers me is that if the situation was reversed, and it had been her daughter and Flinger who had had the altercation, I would have stood up for her daughter.

So, as I was leaving work today, I had an epiphany. I owe absolutely NOTHING to anyone in the troop, and that includes my co-leader. I will re-register Twelve and I into the troop for next year because we have a lot of money in Twelves "scout account" which we can only access as part of the troop. (This is money that the troop "credits" each girl for each box of cookies that they've sold. Twelve has over $250 credit) If we drop out of the troop, then the money reverts back into the general troop money. If we re-register for the troop, and Twelve and I want to attend any Girl Scout events next year (just the two of us)...there is no way that I will ask anyone else, we will be able to get the money from the troop account, and not from my pocket.

I want nothing to do with anyone from the troop (except for Eventempered and her mom). As soon as the Silver Award Event is completed and we have a ceremony to give each of the girls that earn it, their Silver Award, I am truly done! Other than getting checks from my co-leader to cover expenses next year...Twelve and I are done, not with Girl Scouts but, done, done, done with everyone in the troop. I can't even begin to tell you how liberating that is :~D

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mother's birthday. Happy birthday mom! Joan took her out to lunch yesterday, and I plan to take her out to dinner tonight, and we'll all go out to dinner together when we can coordinate schedules.

When I was younger, (a long long time ago), I remember wearing "corsages" to school on my birthday. They were made of ribbon and pipecleaners and the pipecleaners wrapped around some sort of candy...chocolate, tootsie rolls, gum. Wearing the corsage always made me feel special.

Don't know what I can do today to make my mom feel special. It's hard knowing that no matter what I do, my mom won't remember it 2 minutes later (oh heck, who am I fooling...she won't remember it seconds later). True, she would enjoy the moment, and that is really important, but it breaks my heart that she won't remember what we did, and that her feeling "extra special" on her birthday will be a only fleeting sensation. From one moment to the next, thoughts, feelings, ideas disappear quickly for her. Far too quickly. I wish it wasn't so.

When my father was still alive, he too had dementia. My mother would always say "But he enjoys himself while we are...out to lunch, going for a drive, in the store (you fill in the blank). Now it's my mother's turn to not remember. Living in the moment can be a good thing...after all isn't that what the 'yogis' say we should do? However, I don't think that forgetting the moment before, is what it's all about. It certainly is painful for those of us that love my mom, to see her not remembering. She doesn't remember that today is her birthday, unless I constinually say to her..."Guess what mom, it's May 3rd" or "Happy birthday mom". Then her face lights up, and she for a moment, yes, just for a moment remembers.

So Happy Birthday Mom, may you enjoy each and every moment as it comes. I love you.

Tag...We're It!

I've been tagged by Joan to list 10 interesting habits or facts about me. This is difficult for me to do, because I really don't think that I am all that interesting.
1. I love to read. I always carry a book with me and will use any opportunity to read. (This wasn't always so)
2. I love to break out in song (often off key) whenever I hear words that remind me of a song. (much to the chagrin of Ten and Twelve)
3. I clean the house before anyone comes over.
4. I am very loyal.
5. I'm basically a lazy person (at least when it comes to exercise).
6. Chocolate gives me migraines (boo hiss).
7. I've been a vegetarian 31 years. (that's a lot of years)
8. People tell me that I look younger than my age (and sometime I act younger too)
9. I love to talk to people...I'll talk to anyone and everyone...(on line at the grocery store, a bus boy at a restaurant, a crossing guard...you get the picture).

I'm going to stop at nine...if my sister, or anyone else for that matter, wants to come up with a number ten for me, that would be fine. I'm not going to tag anyone, but if someone wants to participate...please let me know. (would #10 be that I only follow the directions that I want to follow?)

Twelve would like to participate (thanks Renee for showing that, that would be o.k.)
Twelve writes:
1. I am a very picky eater.
2. I smell my food before I eat it (so does my mom, but she forgot to mention that)
3. I chew a lot of gum.
4. I love to listen to good music.
5. I like acting and want to be an actress.
6. I have trouble typing the word "frineds" (I know how to spell it, but my fingers don't work that way)
7. I bowled a six-pack (6 strikes in a row) on the Wii.
8. I'm a chocolaholic.
9. I like to hog the computer.
10. I am good at memorizing things.