I saw my podiatrist yesterday. One part of my foot is still hurting (it's been almost two months since the surgery). He thinks it may be one of the screws in my foot. That means the screw needs to come out.
I asked him if he had some sort of magic wand to make the screw magically come out . He said that he doesn't (darn it!)...and that I need to have "a procedure" to have the screw removed : ( The "procedure" will take place in his office on June 15th.
I am not looking forward to it : ( sigh.......breathe in...breathe out
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
ER
Please someone remind me...in case I forget...that I should NEVER go to the ER without a phone charger, an ipod charger, and a warm blanket...sigh.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Handicap Parking Spaces
Since I've had my foot surgery, my podiatrist signed off for me to get a temporary handicap parking placard. I've really needed it these past few weeks, as walking for even a short distance is difficult (my almost 88 year old mother walks faster than I do these days...sigh). I've decided that there are a lot of people on this planet who need to experience first hand what it feels like to look for a handicap parking spot only to find that they are all taken : (
Dear Bitch in the Lin.coln Navi.gator,
I want to thank you for your thoughtlessness the other night. Clearly the fact that you drive a big-ass SUV means that you are absolutely allowed to park in as many spaces as you want. In fact, your parking job was so thoughtless that I think that you should teach a class to other self-involved bitches instructing them on the proper technique for taking at least two parking spaces, and for making sure that one of them is a handicap parking space. My daughter and I especially enjoyed how you walked out of the store and got into your car without any apology to me for taking up the one spot that I needed to park in. That's right, the one that was painted blue with a white wheelchair on it. I must have missed your placard.
I want you to know that I am looking forward to the day when you need to park in that spot, and some other self-involved bitch makes it impossible.
BTW, in the State of California, the fine for parking in a handicap parking spot, when you don't have a placard is...$250-$500 for the for the first offense...of course, seeing how thoughtless you are, I'm thinking that you have already worked your way up to 3+ offenses at the cost of $750-$1,000 each. Please remit your check to any DMV office.
Signed,
Limping along slowly
Dear Bitch in the Lin.coln Navi.gator,
I want to thank you for your thoughtlessness the other night. Clearly the fact that you drive a big-ass SUV means that you are absolutely allowed to park in as many spaces as you want. In fact, your parking job was so thoughtless that I think that you should teach a class to other self-involved bitches instructing them on the proper technique for taking at least two parking spaces, and for making sure that one of them is a handicap parking space. My daughter and I especially enjoyed how you walked out of the store and got into your car without any apology to me for taking up the one spot that I needed to park in. That's right, the one that was painted blue with a white wheelchair on it. I must have missed your placard.
I want you to know that I am looking forward to the day when you need to park in that spot, and some other self-involved bitch makes it impossible.
BTW, in the State of California, the fine for parking in a handicap parking spot, when you don't have a placard is...$250-$500 for the for the first offense...of course, seeing how thoughtless you are, I'm thinking that you have already worked your way up to 3+ offenses at the cost of $750-$1,000 each. Please remit your check to any DMV office.
Signed,
Limping along slowly
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Return To Work
I'm going back to work tomorrow. If I wanted to take off two more weeks, my podiatrist would write a note for me. It's just that I have so much to do...so many reports to write, so many meetings to attend...and most importantly...so many children to see.
I'm not sure how I will hold up. Tomorrow I plan on spending the whole day writing reports...yuck. Today I fell asleep on the sofa at 11:30am...how will I ever last until 3pm? Tomorrow should be interesting...sigh.
I'm not sure how I will hold up. Tomorrow I plan on spending the whole day writing reports...yuck. Today I fell asleep on the sofa at 11:30am...how will I ever last until 3pm? Tomorrow should be interesting...sigh.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Don't Tell Anyone
Shhhhh...don't tell anyone...especially not my podiatrist...but I drove today. Yep...I couldn't stand relying on other people to take me places or to get me what I wanted...so I grabbed Elle, she grabbed a wheelchair...and off we went.
I felt great getting behind the wheel again. Of course, Elle told me that I looked pretty dorky driving with my left leg up on the dashboard...but a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do. We accomplished quite a bit:
Elle had worked up quite an appetite not only lifting the wheelchair in and out of the car...but also pushing me around in it...so we stopped at the local ice cream store. It made perfect sense to me, to get Elle two scoops of icecream to go (and to get some for DH and Sport)... however, I can't figure out exactly why I also needed two scoops of icecream...I was just sitting in the wheelchair the whole time...sigh.
We came home, I put my foot up and now I am ready for a nap...hopefully no one will eat my icecream while I sleep...breathe in...breathe out.
I felt great getting behind the wheel again. Of course, Elle told me that I looked pretty dorky driving with my left leg up on the dashboard...but a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do. We accomplished quite a bit:
- Pharmacy - picked up prescription...didn't have the kind of kitty food we needed : (
- Supermarket - picked up apple pie filling...didn't have the kind of kitty food we needed : (
- Pet supply store - picked up the kitty food we needed : )
- Different supermarket - picked up blueberry pie filling : )
Elle had worked up quite an appetite not only lifting the wheelchair in and out of the car...but also pushing me around in it...so we stopped at the local ice cream store. It made perfect sense to me, to get Elle two scoops of icecream to go (and to get some for DH and Sport)... however, I can't figure out exactly why I also needed two scoops of icecream...I was just sitting in the wheelchair the whole time...sigh.
We came home, I put my foot up and now I am ready for a nap...hopefully no one will eat my icecream while I sleep...breathe in...breathe out.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Time Limps On
I am now one week post surgery and have learned some important lessons:
- My bathroom is a long, long, long way from my bed. (o.k. fine...it just feels that way)
- I am a well-hydrated woman. (see #1 above)
- Showering while standing on one leg is tough.
- Shaving while standing on one leg is tougher.
- I'm pretty tough.
- Accepting help from others is difficult for me.
- I expect perfection from myself...but not from others.
- Going down the stairs on your bottom is more fun when you're a kid.
- Going upstairs on your bottom doesn't really work : (
- Sometimes I whine...for no other reason than I am feeling sorry for myself.
Clearly I've had a lot of time on my hands to sit and do nothing. Before the surgery, I had a fantasy that I would use my time in bed to organize my bedroom (by cleaning out my dresser drawers) ...instead I've used my time to veg-out in front of the TV...sigh
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
People Don't Think
I am having foot surgery on Thursday...why do people feel the need to tell me "what a horrible experience they had 20 years ago?"
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Meeting From Hell
I'm trying to recover from a meeting that I attended in which I was verbally attacked/abused by a parent... and the administrator did absolutely nothing to stop it.
In my many years of work, I have attended meetings where the parents have disagreed with my recommendation and findings. I accept that. I understand that many of these parents have fought the school district for years in order to receive my type of services. and that although their children no longer need my services to access the curriculum, these parents are reluctant to 'let these hard-won services go'.
I believe that it is my job, as the expert in my field, to explain to parents why it's a good thing that their child has made progress and is no longer in need of my services, and to reassure these parents that I will continue to be available as a resourse to their children, their children's teachers, and to the parents themselves, even once their children are dismissed.
In the hundreds, if not thousands, of meetings that I have attended, over the years, there have been a handful of times that the parents have demanded a 'second assessment be done by another trained professional'. I have never been bothered by these demands, as I have always felt confident that additional testing, by someone else, would continue to yield the same results. In most of these cases however, the administrators, have always controlled the meeting and kept all parties maintaining a certain level of decorum...until the meeting this past Thursday (which by the way was not at one of my schools).
On Thurdsay the participants arrived at the meeting with a high level of stress, knowing from a pre-meeting the previous week, just how unreasonable this parent could be. The tension in the air was palpable. The parent had been given a copy of my report, which included the good news that the student no longer needed my services or support in order to access the curriculum. Standardized testing, classroom teacher reporting, as well as student performance were all included in my report.
The moment I started to speak, the parent questioned the validity of the tests...stating that "asking a few questions doesn't count" and that "a Social Worker with a masters degree can administer the test" (and her point would be???????) It went downhill fast from there. At that point, the administrator should have spoken to that parent and suggested that this parent allow me to finish my report, and that there would be time to discuss it when I was done. Instead the administrator did nothing and the parent continued to escalate into quite a tirade. What spewed forth from this parents mouth was nothing short of verbal abuse. This parent accused me of : being a pawn of the school district, being a liar, being incompetent, and being unethical.
At no time did the administrator attempt to stop the parent, or the meeting. I sat there frozen. My heart was pumping wildly, but I was so taken aback by what was happening that I couldn't even get up and leave. I have no idea what I actually said during the meeting, because everytime I tried to speak, the parent continued her verbal attack.
Finally, the adminstrator said that we should take a vote as to whether or not this student should continue to receive services from my department. EXCUSE ME !!!!! What the hell was she talking about...."Take a vote"????? HAD SHE LOST HER MIND ??????? You don't vote on services...either a student meets eligibility criteria...or they don't. If the parent disagrees, they can write that down in the meeting notes, and an independent review will be conducted. In my professional opinion, based on all information at my disposal, this student did not qualify. For an administrator to then ignore what I have said and decide to put it to a vote was beyond unprofessional.
Believe me when I say that I was ready to "blow a gasket"! The administrator said that she wanted to take a short recess to conference with me. We stepped out of the room and the administrator had the audacity to ask me to ignore: testing, teacher input, clinical observations and just allow the student to continue to receive services to appease the parent. EXCUSE ME!!!!! As keepers of the public's money, we are entrusted to spend that money wisely. To ask me to sign off on spending the public's money unwisely, just to appease a parent (which would mean that the money wouldn't be available for a student who DOES need the services) is unconscionable.
So I took a deep breath and told the administrator that she was acting very unprofessionally by allowing the parent to take control of the meeting, by allowing the parent to accuse me of being incompetent, a liar, and unethical, and by asking me to be unethical by recommending services just to appease a parent. The administrator's reply was "Um, you know how the parent is."
I have never in my life come across such an incompetent administrator. Maybe I've just been incredibly lucky. If I was new to the profession, I would have quit that very day. For now, my heart races when I think of attending another meeting (of which I have 31 scheduled between now and the end of April). This experience has really shaken me to my very core. I am trying to breathe in and out and remain calm...but at the moment it is a losing battle.
In my many years of work, I have attended meetings where the parents have disagreed with my recommendation and findings. I accept that. I understand that many of these parents have fought the school district for years in order to receive my type of services. and that although their children no longer need my services to access the curriculum, these parents are reluctant to 'let these hard-won services go'.
I believe that it is my job, as the expert in my field, to explain to parents why it's a good thing that their child has made progress and is no longer in need of my services, and to reassure these parents that I will continue to be available as a resourse to their children, their children's teachers, and to the parents themselves, even once their children are dismissed.
In the hundreds, if not thousands, of meetings that I have attended, over the years, there have been a handful of times that the parents have demanded a 'second assessment be done by another trained professional'. I have never been bothered by these demands, as I have always felt confident that additional testing, by someone else, would continue to yield the same results. In most of these cases however, the administrators, have always controlled the meeting and kept all parties maintaining a certain level of decorum...until the meeting this past Thursday (which by the way was not at one of my schools).
On Thurdsay the participants arrived at the meeting with a high level of stress, knowing from a pre-meeting the previous week, just how unreasonable this parent could be. The tension in the air was palpable. The parent had been given a copy of my report, which included the good news that the student no longer needed my services or support in order to access the curriculum. Standardized testing, classroom teacher reporting, as well as student performance were all included in my report.
The moment I started to speak, the parent questioned the validity of the tests...stating that "asking a few questions doesn't count" and that "a Social Worker with a masters degree can administer the test" (and her point would be???????) It went downhill fast from there. At that point, the administrator should have spoken to that parent and suggested that this parent allow me to finish my report, and that there would be time to discuss it when I was done. Instead the administrator did nothing and the parent continued to escalate into quite a tirade. What spewed forth from this parents mouth was nothing short of verbal abuse. This parent accused me of : being a pawn of the school district, being a liar, being incompetent, and being unethical.
At no time did the administrator attempt to stop the parent, or the meeting. I sat there frozen. My heart was pumping wildly, but I was so taken aback by what was happening that I couldn't even get up and leave. I have no idea what I actually said during the meeting, because everytime I tried to speak, the parent continued her verbal attack.
Finally, the adminstrator said that we should take a vote as to whether or not this student should continue to receive services from my department. EXCUSE ME !!!!! What the hell was she talking about...."Take a vote"????? HAD SHE LOST HER MIND ??????? You don't vote on services...either a student meets eligibility criteria...or they don't. If the parent disagrees, they can write that down in the meeting notes, and an independent review will be conducted. In my professional opinion, based on all information at my disposal, this student did not qualify. For an administrator to then ignore what I have said and decide to put it to a vote was beyond unprofessional.
Believe me when I say that I was ready to "blow a gasket"! The administrator said that she wanted to take a short recess to conference with me. We stepped out of the room and the administrator had the audacity to ask me to ignore: testing, teacher input, clinical observations and just allow the student to continue to receive services to appease the parent. EXCUSE ME!!!!! As keepers of the public's money, we are entrusted to spend that money wisely. To ask me to sign off on spending the public's money unwisely, just to appease a parent (which would mean that the money wouldn't be available for a student who DOES need the services) is unconscionable.
So I took a deep breath and told the administrator that she was acting very unprofessionally by allowing the parent to take control of the meeting, by allowing the parent to accuse me of being incompetent, a liar, and unethical, and by asking me to be unethical by recommending services just to appease a parent. The administrator's reply was "Um, you know how the parent is."
I have never in my life come across such an incompetent administrator. Maybe I've just been incredibly lucky. If I was new to the profession, I would have quit that very day. For now, my heart races when I think of attending another meeting (of which I have 31 scheduled between now and the end of April). This experience has really shaken me to my very core. I am trying to breathe in and out and remain calm...but at the moment it is a losing battle.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
No Expiration Date
The other day, I read my sister's post and I now know who is to blame for the fact that I have so much clutter...it's clearly my parents fault! In her post, Joan spoke about how our parents never got rid of anything until all the life was sucked out of it (Joan used the work 'frugal'). It didn't matter if it was a jacket, a television, a lamp, a car. As long as the item could still be used, it was.
This has translated into my life in the following way... I see something that I don't need at that moment, but I want to have it "just in case the one that I already have, dies", or "just in case the store runs out and doesn't have it when I need it". Then what happens is that the original item either never dies, so I continue to have a spare (or two, or three) hanging around...or I decide to use the new item, but the original item is still useful, so I can't possibly throw it out. (Which would probably explain the W*nnie the P*oh, Batm*n, and Power R*nger comforters, among other things, that I haven't been able to part with)...sigh.
At times I have circumvented this dilemma in the following way...I take the still useful item and donate it either to a friend, neighbor, or a charity. I can justify getting rid of a 'perfectly good _______ (fill in the blank)...if I know that someone else will continue to use it and get some enjoyment from it. But that only works when I am ready to replace the old item with the new. Sometimes I just not ready to 'let go' of an item...usually for sentimental reasons, yet it needs to be replaced. Then I end up holding on to both (see the above comforters) items.
It's only when I get fed up with the clutter, or I am thinking about having to pack up the car in case I need to evacuate (which thank goodness I didn't have to do), that this extra 'stuff' starts to bother me. Fortunately/unfortunately that's where I am now...if I can only find the time to follow through, I might actually be able to go against the lessons in frugality that I learned from my parents, and get rid of some stuff... if only...sigh. Breathe in ... breathe out.
This has translated into my life in the following way... I see something that I don't need at that moment, but I want to have it "just in case the one that I already have, dies", or "just in case the store runs out and doesn't have it when I need it". Then what happens is that the original item either never dies, so I continue to have a spare (or two, or three) hanging around...or I decide to use the new item, but the original item is still useful, so I can't possibly throw it out. (Which would probably explain the W*nnie the P*oh, Batm*n, and Power R*nger comforters, among other things, that I haven't been able to part with)...sigh.
At times I have circumvented this dilemma in the following way...I take the still useful item and donate it either to a friend, neighbor, or a charity. I can justify getting rid of a 'perfectly good _______ (fill in the blank)...if I know that someone else will continue to use it and get some enjoyment from it. But that only works when I am ready to replace the old item with the new. Sometimes I just not ready to 'let go' of an item...usually for sentimental reasons, yet it needs to be replaced. Then I end up holding on to both (see the above comforters) items.
It's only when I get fed up with the clutter, or I am thinking about having to pack up the car in case I need to evacuate (which thank goodness I didn't have to do), that this extra 'stuff' starts to bother me. Fortunately/unfortunately that's where I am now...if I can only find the time to follow through, I might actually be able to go against the lessons in frugality that I learned from my parents, and get rid of some stuff... if only...sigh. Breathe in ... breathe out.
Monday, October 13, 2008
To Pack or Not to Pack
Received an email from my local community...it was actually a 'community update' regarding the fires here in Southern California. It recommended that all residents in my area load-up their cars and be ready to evacuate at a moments notice. Currently, there are no fires within my immediate vicinity, however three years ago there were fires located near where the current fires are, and overnight the fire travelled over the mountains and reached my community.
Three years ago, we were awaken at 1:30am by a neighbor pounding on our front door telling us that the development up the hill from us was being evacuated, and that we should start packing up our cars....which we did. At 2:30am the county sheriff was pounding on our front door, recommending that we evacuate our home which we didn't. It wasn't a mandatory evacuation...just a strong suggestion.
Last time, I remember looking at the stuff that I chose to pack, and at the stuff that I chose to leave behind...It made me realize that I have lots of stuff. a lot of unnecessary stuff. Evidently I haven't done a darn thing about it...because here it is three years later and I still have way too much stuff.
This time, I am somewhat at a standstill re: what to pack. I've gotten together some of the family photos (including computer disks)...but not all of them. I've made a list of things to remember to put in the car...just in case. On my list I've written down that I should grab the important papers(including my moms), two laptops (the family one, and mine from work), the desk top tower, picture boxes ( and I've put some loose pictures in a plastic container), Amber (the dogs) leash, the kitty's...their two carriers...and their litter box! Food for the animals, medicine for each family member, clothes for a few days.
I can't think of what else is really important. Instead of packing everything into my van...I'm sitting here posting...trying to decide if it's really necessary to put it all in one place, or if making a list is enough. I'm wondering if I am in denial that the fire will come this way again...or if I'm being optimistic that it won't. My head hurts from breathing smoke all day, and I just want to go to sleep.
Just to add to the fun and excitement... Sport threw-up this afternoon, I think that it was a reaction to all of the smoke. Thank goodness I have a carpet cleaning machine in my garage (actually, I have two)...and although I think that it is a god-send everytime someone throws-up on the carpet, I will not be adding it to my list of things to take, in an emergency. I sure hope that Sport feels better soon, I sure hope that we don't have to evacuate, and I sure hope that the fire season passes quickly, and that no more lives are lost...and that no more homes are lost.
I would say...breathe in...breathe out...but with all of the smoke and particulate matter in the air, I'm thinking that wouldn't be too healthy...sigh
Three years ago, we were awaken at 1:30am by a neighbor pounding on our front door telling us that the development up the hill from us was being evacuated, and that we should start packing up our cars....which we did. At 2:30am the county sheriff was pounding on our front door, recommending that we evacuate our home which we didn't. It wasn't a mandatory evacuation...just a strong suggestion.
Last time, I remember looking at the stuff that I chose to pack, and at the stuff that I chose to leave behind...It made me realize that I have lots of stuff. a lot of unnecessary stuff. Evidently I haven't done a darn thing about it...because here it is three years later and I still have way too much stuff.
This time, I am somewhat at a standstill re: what to pack. I've gotten together some of the family photos (including computer disks)...but not all of them. I've made a list of things to remember to put in the car...just in case. On my list I've written down that I should grab the important papers(including my moms), two laptops (the family one, and mine from work), the desk top tower, picture boxes ( and I've put some loose pictures in a plastic container), Amber (the dogs) leash, the kitty's...their two carriers...and their litter box! Food for the animals, medicine for each family member, clothes for a few days.
I can't think of what else is really important. Instead of packing everything into my van...I'm sitting here posting...trying to decide if it's really necessary to put it all in one place, or if making a list is enough. I'm wondering if I am in denial that the fire will come this way again...or if I'm being optimistic that it won't. My head hurts from breathing smoke all day, and I just want to go to sleep.
Just to add to the fun and excitement... Sport threw-up this afternoon, I think that it was a reaction to all of the smoke. Thank goodness I have a carpet cleaning machine in my garage (actually, I have two)...and although I think that it is a god-send everytime someone throws-up on the carpet, I will not be adding it to my list of things to take, in an emergency. I sure hope that Sport feels better soon, I sure hope that we don't have to evacuate, and I sure hope that the fire season passes quickly, and that no more lives are lost...and that no more homes are lost.
I would say...breathe in...breathe out...but with all of the smoke and particulate matter in the air, I'm thinking that wouldn't be too healthy...sigh
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Can't A Girl Catch Her Breath?
I can't believe how quickly time has flown by since school/work started. It's already the end of September. Heck, I can't believe that this year is almost over.
Work has been keeping me really busy. I'm still working part-time, but instead of working a shorter day, five days/week, I am now working slightly longer days on four days. One would think that with one less day driving to work that I would have lots more time on my hands. Somehow, I don't = (
Elle's 14th birthday is this week. We're planning on going to Disneyland the end of the month to celebrate = ) Talk about time flying by...it feels like she was just born yesterday...sigh
Life here continues on a somewhat even keel...I'm not complaining, given the alternative. I'm still trying to find time for me. However, it seems to be elusive. I'm thinking someday in the not too distant future, I will have plenty of time on my hands...and then I'll look back on these days and maybe even long for them. It's hard to imagine having too much time on my hands. I'm guessing that I'll find things to do to fill up the time, but for now, I'm just look for some time to catch my breath.
Work has been keeping me really busy. I'm still working part-time, but instead of working a shorter day, five days/week, I am now working slightly longer days on four days. One would think that with one less day driving to work that I would have lots more time on my hands. Somehow, I don't = (
Elle's 14th birthday is this week. We're planning on going to Disneyland the end of the month to celebrate = ) Talk about time flying by...it feels like she was just born yesterday...sigh
Life here continues on a somewhat even keel...I'm not complaining, given the alternative. I'm still trying to find time for me. However, it seems to be elusive. I'm thinking someday in the not too distant future, I will have plenty of time on my hands...and then I'll look back on these days and maybe even long for them. It's hard to imagine having too much time on my hands. I'm guessing that I'll find things to do to fill up the time, but for now, I'm just look for some time to catch my breath.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I Need A Room
Work started...waaaaaaa. I've been really busy scheduling kids and doing an inordinate amount of paperwork. Fortunately, paperwork and organizing schedules are two things that I am really good at, otherwise I would be up the proverbial creek. Unfortunately, the excessive amount of paperwork that I am required to do takes time away from what I really love to do which is to work with kids.
I am trying a somewhat new attitude this school year...I am attempting to let go of the expectation that I will actually have a room to work in at my high school. Last week I went to the school just knowing that there wouldn't be a room for me (since they unceremoniously moved someone else into my room with three weeks left in the school year last June...without giving me any notice or warning), and lo and behold...I wasn't disappointed. When the principal looked me in the eye and said that she couldn't get to it until the next week (meaning this week), I was able to smile and say...great, I look forward to coming back next week (now this week), instead of throwing a pissy attitude about how I am a professional and expect to be treated as such.
This reduced expectation doesn't preclude me from fretting about the way that I am treated at that particular school. It doesn't stop me from being pissed off that I have had to move eight, now nine times in the eight years that I have been serving that particular school. It doesn't stop me from resenting the principal's favorites who never have to move. The change in attitude just allows me to remain calm and not blow a gasket at least in that moment.
Today I am going back to that school. Despite the principal telling me that I would have a room this week, I am 99.999% sure that I won't. If you hear a loud thud this morning, it may just be me, fainting, if they actually assign a room to me. Breathe in...breathe out.
I am trying a somewhat new attitude this school year...I am attempting to let go of the expectation that I will actually have a room to work in at my high school. Last week I went to the school just knowing that there wouldn't be a room for me (since they unceremoniously moved someone else into my room with three weeks left in the school year last June...without giving me any notice or warning), and lo and behold...I wasn't disappointed. When the principal looked me in the eye and said that she couldn't get to it until the next week (meaning this week), I was able to smile and say...great, I look forward to coming back next week (now this week), instead of throwing a pissy attitude about how I am a professional and expect to be treated as such.
This reduced expectation doesn't preclude me from fretting about the way that I am treated at that particular school. It doesn't stop me from being pissed off that I have had to move eight, now nine times in the eight years that I have been serving that particular school. It doesn't stop me from resenting the principal's favorites who never have to move. The change in attitude just allows me to remain calm and not blow a gasket at least in that moment.
Today I am going back to that school. Despite the principal telling me that I would have a room this week, I am 99.999% sure that I won't. If you hear a loud thud this morning, it may just be me, fainting, if they actually assign a room to me. Breathe in...breathe out.
Friday, August 29, 2008
She said...she said
I think that I need to start carrying around a digital recorder. Either that, or a translator unit that can translate from teenager to parent and back.
Although my profession has trained me in the area of communication and communicative disorders, there seems to be a big gap with the communication between myself and Elle. For some strange reason, I am able to effectively communicate with Middle School and High School students, and have successfully done so for many years. However, I seem to be having great difficulty when it comes to communicating with my own daughter.
I wonder why that is. Could it be that I filter whatever she is saying to me through what I want for her?...or is it that she is filtering what I am saying to her through what she wants to hear? Either way, conversations, the past few days, have been ending with Elle screeching either "I never said that, don't put words in my mouth!", "You never said that, you're making this up now", or "You just don't understand!"...at which point Elle storms away from me.
I am running out now to go and get that digital recorder...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.
Although my profession has trained me in the area of communication and communicative disorders, there seems to be a big gap with the communication between myself and Elle. For some strange reason, I am able to effectively communicate with Middle School and High School students, and have successfully done so for many years. However, I seem to be having great difficulty when it comes to communicating with my own daughter.
I wonder why that is. Could it be that I filter whatever she is saying to me through what I want for her?...or is it that she is filtering what I am saying to her through what she wants to hear? Either way, conversations, the past few days, have been ending with Elle screeching either "I never said that, don't put words in my mouth!", "You never said that, you're making this up now", or "You just don't understand!"...at which point Elle storms away from me.
I am running out now to go and get that digital recorder...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
They're Back In School
Both my kids went back to school today, Elle to High School, and Sport to Middle School...and I feel really sad. This summer passed way too quickly and I am not ready for them to be back into the grind of school.
Homework, early morning wake-ups, rushed breakfasts, homework, afterschool activities, did I mention homework?
I miss my kids. Normally I would have gone to some Professional Development days (for work) but this year my district decided not to pay their employees to attend the "Buy Back Days"...so I decided to extend my summer vacation by 3 more days. I guess the price that I am paying for not going to those classes, is that I miss my kids...and they've only been gone for one hour...sigh
If I am feeling this blue when I know that I will see them both in a few hours, I can't imagine what I will feel like when they go off to college...shudder... breathe in...breathe out. This parenting thing is hard!
Maybe if Elle hadn't been so worried this morning about starting High School, getting her schedule, and finding her classes, I wouldn't be fretting so much. Hopefully when she arrives home this afternoon, she will have good, happy stories to tell me about her first day of High School. Sport on the other hand, went off to a new school (Middle School) happy as a clam. Hopefully his joy won't be squelched.
I wonder, if as a parent the worrying about your kids ever stops...and if so, when?
I'm going to try to distract myself...sitting here fretting is not going to make the day go any faster...I'm going to head to the nearest big box store for some retail therapy...breathe in...breathe out.
Homework, early morning wake-ups, rushed breakfasts, homework, afterschool activities, did I mention homework?
I miss my kids. Normally I would have gone to some Professional Development days (for work) but this year my district decided not to pay their employees to attend the "Buy Back Days"...so I decided to extend my summer vacation by 3 more days. I guess the price that I am paying for not going to those classes, is that I miss my kids...and they've only been gone for one hour...sigh
If I am feeling this blue when I know that I will see them both in a few hours, I can't imagine what I will feel like when they go off to college...shudder... breathe in...breathe out. This parenting thing is hard!
Maybe if Elle hadn't been so worried this morning about starting High School, getting her schedule, and finding her classes, I wouldn't be fretting so much. Hopefully when she arrives home this afternoon, she will have good, happy stories to tell me about her first day of High School. Sport on the other hand, went off to a new school (Middle School) happy as a clam. Hopefully his joy won't be squelched.
I wonder, if as a parent the worrying about your kids ever stops...and if so, when?
I'm going to try to distract myself...sitting here fretting is not going to make the day go any faster...I'm going to head to the nearest big box store for some retail therapy...breathe in...breathe out.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
She's Gone
Sunday night Yulia left to return to Russia=~( We are all sad. Now that both foreign exchange students have gone our house seems really, really empty with only the 5 of us, the dog and the two kitties. It is so hard to believe that four weeks have gone by so quickly. It is almost frightening how it flew by. Sometimes I feel like my life is flying by as days turn into weeks, which then turn into months and then years. I mean, wasn't it just New Years 2000?
The day before Yulia left, we took her minature golfing. It is something that she had never done before and she really enjoyed it. Then we took her to some outlet stores so that she could shop some more. Let me tell you...this girl really likes to shop! So much so, that as she was packing her suitcase to go home, she ran out of room and ended up leaving 2 bags (like purses) and a whole bunch of bathroom stuff which has labels in Russian, so we have no idea what they are for =(
We have already received an email from Yulia and she has arrived home safely. We've been receiving emails pretty regularly from Indonesia which is really nice. It's strange though...the emails all come from the future...sometimes, we even respond to the emails before they were written...boy is that weird!
I have seven more days of summer school, and then I will be off until September. I am so not looking forward to school starting, both for Elle and Sport, and for me. Yet, I know that it will be here in the blink of an eye...I guess that means that I better try to enjoy every moment...breathe in...breathe out.
The day before Yulia left, we took her minature golfing. It is something that she had never done before and she really enjoyed it. Then we took her to some outlet stores so that she could shop some more. Let me tell you...this girl really likes to shop! So much so, that as she was packing her suitcase to go home, she ran out of room and ended up leaving 2 bags (like purses) and a whole bunch of bathroom stuff which has labels in Russian, so we have no idea what they are for =(
We have already received an email from Yulia and she has arrived home safely. We've been receiving emails pretty regularly from Indonesia which is really nice. It's strange though...the emails all come from the future...sometimes, we even respond to the emails before they were written...boy is that weird!
I have seven more days of summer school, and then I will be off until September. I am so not looking forward to school starting, both for Elle and Sport, and for me. Yet, I know that it will be here in the blink of an eye...I guess that means that I better try to enjoy every moment...breathe in...breathe out.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
He's Gone
This weekend our foreign exchange students went to San Francisco, and we went camping with three other families up in Bass Lake, California. We camped at a beautiful campsite right on the lake...well not exactly ON the lake but the lake touched our campsite...here's a photo from our campsite.
We had some visitors in the morning...
Beautiful you say????? Let me tell you these geese must never sleep! Starting at 9pm both nights they started honking...and they honked all night long. Now if they would have honked in a rhythmic way, that might have lulled me to sleep...but no!!!! All night long we heard "honk, honk, honk, honk, honk...pause for 12 seconds, then 5 honks with an 8 second pause. The pattern continually changed and kept us awake the first night...sigh.
On Sunday the four families rented a boat and we also rented a big thing (like an innertube without the hole in the center) and took turns taking rides on it. It was so much fun! Sorry, no pictures of me in a bathing suit. I have the pictures, but there is no way that I would post them! lol
Monday night Surya left to go back to Indonesia:~( Words cannot express how sad we all feel. He was such a great kid, saying goodbye to him was really difficult. Needless to say, there were many tears (mine) and lots of hugs and promises to keep in touch. His leaving definitely took some sunshine from our home. Saying goodbye, especially since we don't know if we will ever see him again is tough.
We have Yulia until this coming Sunday. I am trying not to think about her leaving. In the meantime, there is so much to do...breathe in...breathe out
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Why Won't Some People Accept An Apology?
I am sooooo tired! Yesterday, Yulia and Surya went to Six Fl.ags Mag.ic Moun.tain and didn't get back to their school pick up point until midnight. That meant that we got home about 12:20am and they didn't settle down until about 1am.
The good news is that they both had a terrific time and were so excited and animated in their retellings of the day. The bad news is that even though we got home at 12:20am, they didn't settle down and get to bed until 1am...which meant that I didn't get to sleep until about 1:30am...and I had to wake up at 6am.
I used to be able to function on four and 1/2 hours sleep...not anymore. I was totally wiped out today at work. Fortunately, it was a day filled with paperwork...and my lack of being 100% didn't affect the kids I work with. Of course, when I review my paperwork tomorrow, chances are it won't make a lot of sense and I will have to redo everything tomorrow...sigh.
On a different note, I hate when someone yells at me, I apologize, and then they continue to yell at me as if I never apologized. Here's what happened. I was at one of my schools today. I was given a room to work in that had recently had the floors waxed, so all of the desks, chairs, computers were stacked on one side of the room. I mentioned this to the Asst. Principal when I arrived at the school this morning, and asked her if it would be alright if I moved a table and chairs to the other side of the room so that I could work with some students. She said that would be fine.
So...I was busy working on my laptop...minding my own business...trying to stay focused enough to get some paperwork done and this maintenance worker (we'll call him MW) walked by my door. He looked in and started yelling at me, telling me that I scratched the floors and that I shouldn't have done that. Being so tired this morning when I moved the furniture, it did not register that I was scratching the newly waxed floors. Sure enough, I looked where the man was looking and yep, my dragging the heavy table across the floor definitely scratched it.
I apologized to him telling him that I was very sorry that I scratched the floor. Instead of accepting my apology, he continued ranting and raving about how I should never have moved the furniture and that his supervisor would be really mad about it. I explained that I had asked permission before I moved the furniture and that I was really sorry that the floor had gotten scratched and that if his supervisor was mad, he could come and talk with me and I would explain what happened. Still MW yelled at me. By that point I had had enough of his yelling and I stood my very tired body up and yelled back at him. In fact, at that point I wasn't even sorry anymore...just angry that he wouldn't accept my apology. MW walked away in a huff and I sat down and just wanted to cry. What a wimp I am!
I vacillated between wanting to cry and being angry. Turned out I didn't cry, instead I called one of my friends, who usually works at that school, and proceeded to tell her what happened. She totally understood, knew MW, told me not to take it personally... that was exactly what I needed to hear. However, I am left wondering what motivates people to be unwilling or unable to accept someone's apology. Is it a power trip? Stupidity? Innate nastiness?
I need to get to bed...and soon. The kids are heading up to San Francisco tomorrow for the weekend and they will be picked up at 5:30am. One wants me to wake them at 4:30am and the other at 4:50am...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.
The good news is that they both had a terrific time and were so excited and animated in their retellings of the day. The bad news is that even though we got home at 12:20am, they didn't settle down and get to bed until 1am...which meant that I didn't get to sleep until about 1:30am...and I had to wake up at 6am.
I used to be able to function on four and 1/2 hours sleep...not anymore. I was totally wiped out today at work. Fortunately, it was a day filled with paperwork...and my lack of being 100% didn't affect the kids I work with. Of course, when I review my paperwork tomorrow, chances are it won't make a lot of sense and I will have to redo everything tomorrow...sigh.
On a different note, I hate when someone yells at me, I apologize, and then they continue to yell at me as if I never apologized. Here's what happened. I was at one of my schools today. I was given a room to work in that had recently had the floors waxed, so all of the desks, chairs, computers were stacked on one side of the room. I mentioned this to the Asst. Principal when I arrived at the school this morning, and asked her if it would be alright if I moved a table and chairs to the other side of the room so that I could work with some students. She said that would be fine.
So...I was busy working on my laptop...minding my own business...trying to stay focused enough to get some paperwork done and this maintenance worker (we'll call him MW) walked by my door. He looked in and started yelling at me, telling me that I scratched the floors and that I shouldn't have done that. Being so tired this morning when I moved the furniture, it did not register that I was scratching the newly waxed floors. Sure enough, I looked where the man was looking and yep, my dragging the heavy table across the floor definitely scratched it.
I apologized to him telling him that I was very sorry that I scratched the floor. Instead of accepting my apology, he continued ranting and raving about how I should never have moved the furniture and that his supervisor would be really mad about it. I explained that I had asked permission before I moved the furniture and that I was really sorry that the floor had gotten scratched and that if his supervisor was mad, he could come and talk with me and I would explain what happened. Still MW yelled at me. By that point I had had enough of his yelling and I stood my very tired body up and yelled back at him. In fact, at that point I wasn't even sorry anymore...just angry that he wouldn't accept my apology. MW walked away in a huff and I sat down and just wanted to cry. What a wimp I am!
I vacillated between wanting to cry and being angry. Turned out I didn't cry, instead I called one of my friends, who usually works at that school, and proceeded to tell her what happened. She totally understood, knew MW, told me not to take it personally... that was exactly what I needed to hear. However, I am left wondering what motivates people to be unwilling or unable to accept someone's apology. Is it a power trip? Stupidity? Innate nastiness?
I need to get to bed...and soon. The kids are heading up to San Francisco tomorrow for the weekend and they will be picked up at 5:30am. One wants me to wake them at 4:30am and the other at 4:50am...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
They Made Fun of Me
Last night the kids and I were sitting in the living room talking about Russian money, Indonesian money and American money...and comparing/contrasting them.
I was showing the kids some coins that I've gotten during my travels, and we were discussing how pretty and colorful the Russian and Indonesian paper money is, and how the U.S. money...even the new bills...aren't as colorful.
During this whole money discussion, the kids were trying to get me to say "rupia" and "ruble". Rupia being the name for the Indonesian currency, and Ruble being the name for the Russian currency.
The kids were saying the words which I will not repeat since I cannot seem to say them correctly. Evidently, both of the words start with a "trilled r" which no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to pronounce. Elle was able to say the sound...but not me. Needless to say, I was quite frustrated and my inability to get my tongue tip to vibrate up and down. (I felt like a clumsy oaf!)
Yulia let me know that it took her about 2 weeks of practice (when she was little) to learn to say this sound, and Surya told me that he had to teach his older sister how to say it. (I think that they were just trying to make me feel better). However, each time I tried to say either word with the "trilled r" in it, they both cracked up. Not a good sign.
Given my profession, I pride myself on being able to correctly produce all sounds (at least the sounds which are present in the English language)... and I've always prided myself on my ability to hear subtleties within different languages/accents. But try as I might, I was not able to correctly produce the sound last night...I think that I came close...but still they cracked up. Even though I will be working today...I will spend the entire car ride to and from work trying to get that sound! sigh
I was showing the kids some coins that I've gotten during my travels, and we were discussing how pretty and colorful the Russian and Indonesian paper money is, and how the U.S. money...even the new bills...aren't as colorful.
During this whole money discussion, the kids were trying to get me to say "rupia" and "ruble". Rupia being the name for the Indonesian currency, and Ruble being the name for the Russian currency.
The kids were saying the words which I will not repeat since I cannot seem to say them correctly. Evidently, both of the words start with a "trilled r" which no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to pronounce. Elle was able to say the sound...but not me. Needless to say, I was quite frustrated and my inability to get my tongue tip to vibrate up and down. (I felt like a clumsy oaf!)
Yulia let me know that it took her about 2 weeks of practice (when she was little) to learn to say this sound, and Surya told me that he had to teach his older sister how to say it. (I think that they were just trying to make me feel better). However, each time I tried to say either word with the "trilled r" in it, they both cracked up. Not a good sign.
Given my profession, I pride myself on being able to correctly produce all sounds (at least the sounds which are present in the English language)... and I've always prided myself on my ability to hear subtleties within different languages/accents. But try as I might, I was not able to correctly produce the sound last night...I think that I came close...but still they cracked up. Even though I will be working today...I will spend the entire car ride to and from work trying to get that sound! sigh
Monday, July 7, 2008
There Were Fireworks
This weekend we took the kids to see Fireworks. On the 4th of July, we had a BBQ with some firends, and then went to a nearby mall to watch a fireworks show. (Actually we parked on a street about 1 mile from the mall). Not only did we get to see the fireworks...we also saw a fire on a hill, that was started by the fireworks...yikes. Fortunately, the firefighters were stationed on the hill where the fireworks were being lit, and the fire was put out quickly...whew!
Last night, a local park held an outdoor concert, and another fireworks display. This time we were up close to where the fireworks were being set off. It was loud, bright, and quite impressive! All the kids really had a good time!
Today everyone is off to various activities. Sport is off to camp from 8-3, Elle will be a Senior Program Aide at a different Girl Scout Camp in the afternoon, Yulia will have class this morning and then take a tour of UCLA, Surya will have a class this morning and then head off to Universal Studios, and I head off to work summer school.
We are all starting to feel sad that our time with our foreign exchange students is drawing to a close. Both kids will go to San Francisco next weekend (we will be camping with some friends), and then next Monday, Surya will leave :~( He is an awesomely funny, polite, and helpful kid and none of us are looking forward to his leaving. Yulia will be with us for one additional week.
I am trying to take one day at a time...but the days seem to be flying by...sigh.
Last night, a local park held an outdoor concert, and another fireworks display. This time we were up close to where the fireworks were being set off. It was loud, bright, and quite impressive! All the kids really had a good time!
Today everyone is off to various activities. Sport is off to camp from 8-3, Elle will be a Senior Program Aide at a different Girl Scout Camp in the afternoon, Yulia will have class this morning and then take a tour of UCLA, Surya will have a class this morning and then head off to Universal Studios, and I head off to work summer school.
We are all starting to feel sad that our time with our foreign exchange students is drawing to a close. Both kids will go to San Francisco next weekend (we will be camping with some friends), and then next Monday, Surya will leave :~( He is an awesomely funny, polite, and helpful kid and none of us are looking forward to his leaving. Yulia will be with us for one additional week.
I am trying to take one day at a time...but the days seem to be flying by...sigh.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Can't Anyone Get Some Sleep Around Here?
The meeting between Elle and the foreign exchange students went well. We spent the day walking around the town of Big Bear and then ate lunch there. Afterwards, we drove home. Everyone fell asleep in the car, including DH...everyone except me that is. Since I was the one driving, that was a very good thing.
That night we had 4 tickets to the Dodger game. DH took Sport and Surya, and I took the girls shopping. Turned out the Dodger game was an historic game (Dodgers won 1-0, without getting any hits, only the 5th time this has happened in baseball history). Surya loved the game, the stadium, participating in "the wave"...and came home singing "Lets go Dodgers!".
The girls loved shopping. Of course...what's not to love:~) Both were successful and purchased some items...lucky for them.
Elle is finding it strange that she needs to knock on her bedroom door before she enters. (the reason that the door is closed is to keep the kitties inside her room...for now). Elle chose to give Yulia her bed and instead to sleep on a mat on the floor...she is finding that very comfortable.
We took the kids to the beach on Sunday and they went "boogie boarding". They all had a blast. Today Surya and Yulia are going to Disneyland and won't return to the "pick-up" point until midnight...sigh. Tomorrow we will all (hopefully) sleep in for the 4th and then swim and BBQ with some friends. In the evening we are hoping to be able to watch some fireworks.
The kids have been really busy and are tired. Maybe they'll catch-up on some much needed sleep tomorrow morning. Maybe. I need to catch up on some much needed sleep as well. I return to work next week...having chosen to work summer school. Fortunately it will only be for four weeks and then I will still have about three weeks off before the next school year. This summer feels like it is already flying by...sigh...
Gotta run and drop Yulia and Surya off so that they can catch their bus to Disneyland.
Update..O.K...so I forgot to post this in the morning...it is now 11:20pm and I just received a phone call that they left Disneyland 1/2 hour late...that means that I won't be picking them up until 12:30am...yawn...I will definitely be sleeping in on the 4th!
That night we had 4 tickets to the Dodger game. DH took Sport and Surya, and I took the girls shopping. Turned out the Dodger game was an historic game (Dodgers won 1-0, without getting any hits, only the 5th time this has happened in baseball history). Surya loved the game, the stadium, participating in "the wave"...and came home singing "Lets go Dodgers!".
The girls loved shopping. Of course...what's not to love:~) Both were successful and purchased some items...lucky for them.
Elle is finding it strange that she needs to knock on her bedroom door before she enters. (the reason that the door is closed is to keep the kitties inside her room...for now). Elle chose to give Yulia her bed and instead to sleep on a mat on the floor...she is finding that very comfortable.
We took the kids to the beach on Sunday and they went "boogie boarding". They all had a blast. Today Surya and Yulia are going to Disneyland and won't return to the "pick-up" point until midnight...sigh. Tomorrow we will all (hopefully) sleep in for the 4th and then swim and BBQ with some friends. In the evening we are hoping to be able to watch some fireworks.
The kids have been really busy and are tired. Maybe they'll catch-up on some much needed sleep tomorrow morning. Maybe. I need to catch up on some much needed sleep as well. I return to work next week...having chosen to work summer school. Fortunately it will only be for four weeks and then I will still have about three weeks off before the next school year. This summer feels like it is already flying by...sigh...
Gotta run and drop Yulia and Surya off so that they can catch their bus to Disneyland.
Update..O.K...so I forgot to post this in the morning...it is now 11:20pm and I just received a phone call that they left Disneyland 1/2 hour late...that means that I won't be picking them up until 12:30am...yawn...I will definitely be sleeping in on the 4th!
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