Monday night, Twelve asked me to sign her progress report for Science. It listed all of the assignments, quizzes and tests for the past month, including points earned out of possible points. The progress report looked great 2/2, 10/10, 25/25. Lots and lots of 100% on assignments and quizzes. I was feeling pretty good that Twelve learned her lesson from the last report card and was really putting out the effort. That is, until I looked at the very last entry on the list.
That's right #25 on the bottom of all of the assignments was an entry for a test which Twelve had in science class last week. Is anyone out there surprised that Twelve had a test in science last week? Cause, I am. Yep, I had no idea. Why did I have no idea? Probably because I'm a terrible, uncaring mother. No, I'm not you say...well then I'll tell you why I had no idea that Twelve had a test...it's because, SHE DIDN'T STUDY. That's right, you read me right, Twelve did not study for her science test last week. Bad choice she made!
One would think that after the last incident and ensuing fallout, that Twelve would have made sure that she studied for this test. Evidently she decided that playing on the computer and 'I.M.ing' her friend was far more important that studying. I'm mean, like hey...which would you rather do? Really who could blame her for choosing the fun route instead of the studying route.
Oh wait...I can blame her. Yes, me, moi, I hold Twelve fully accountable for her decision not to study for her test. Me...a front-line contender for the 'Worst Mom of the Year Award'. So, what did I do? No, I did not take her door off the hinge. This time I did something that feels, for the moment, far worse to Twelve... I took away her computer privileges.
That's right, she is not allowed on the computer, until she studies for the next test. Man, oh man...she is royally p.o'd at me right now. She had whined, tried to negotiate with me, and told me how unfair I am...and that was just in the last hour. Twelve went so far as to tell me that even the smart kids did poorly on this test. She seems to be missing the point...which is that her non-studying is the reason that she may not use the computer.
It is certainly a 'red-flag' day at our house.
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15 comments:
I do that too. I usually take away tv and computer, and for extra lip there are extra chores. I hate fighting with my daughter but accountability doesn't grow on trees.
Ya did the right thing. I can say that of course because I'm sitting in the luxury of a home without the whining of kids, but in reality kids need discipline and a good parent will do that. Kids don't hate you for life because you took away their computer privileges, seems like they will, but they won't. Good luck! :)
I've heard that line before: "even the smart kids did poorly" on the test.
Twelve won't hate you for life..they need boundaries and consequences, right?
Sorry things are unpleasant in your house. The best lessons learned are accountability in action.
Marsha - It's good to know that you do that too.
Michele - I figure that I need to provide Twelve with fodder so that if she sees a mental health professional when she is older, she will have thing to talk about, such as having the meanest mom in the world;~)
Patti - Actually in this case, I think that it is true. Her friend, Eventempered, who happens to be a straight 'A' student, and who I know studied hard for the test, only got a few more points than Twelve.
Patches - Unpleasant...I like that word...A nice euphemism for 'strained and tension-filled'.
Twelve's pity party is certainly more dramatic than mine was. One more time...you are not a Mean Mom...you are a Good Parent!!!
Oh, SNAP!
If I don't get at least a C in my last class, work won't pay for the tuition and I'll be out $630.00. Which means that I might get my computer taken away, too. I feel her pain. I think instead of studying, I was doing fun stuff like blogging & IMing, too.
You are absolutely doing the right thing, despite contrary words from twelve.
I know, i hear it all the time.
-first runner up for meanest mommy.
Wear your Meanest Mom on Earth badge with pride! I do.
If even the smartest kids in class did poorly then the teacher should go over the material again and retest (yeah, like 12 wants to hear that!)
Mothering aint a job for sissies!
you are an absolutely wonderful parent. Again I say when she's an adult, she won't remember the tough parts, only how patient you and K were with her.
You did the right thing. Maybe 12 needs to go to the Silent Retreat. Might help curb the whining!
;-)
I'm not going to say anything since I don't think I ever studied for any tests.
Well she wouldn't be normal if she didn't try to negotiate the sentence right? Good for you for sticking to your guns. Too many people are scared to discipline their children and want to be friends with their kids. But kids only have one mom and one dad. They don't need more friends.
Later on in life, she'll appreciate your efforts and respect you as a parent for teaching her about being responsible. If there is a God :)
Joan - Twelve is certainly the Drama Queen!
Arm - If you don't get a 'C' or better, then you will have consequences too ($630 ouch)...I'm thinking that you did great.
Meno - Thanks for the support.
Renee - It would be nice if the teacher retaught the information...unfortunately she won't.
Only Oldest - Twelve has an amazing memory. I suspect that she will remember the bad parts...I certainly do.
Pam - Now that brought a smile to my face...Instant whine stoppage;~)
Egan - Usually Twelve doesn't really have to study for tests either...and she does fine on them...unfortunately, Science seems to be the exception.
Natalie - Thanks for the support. I can only hope that Twelve turns into a responsible adult, who doesn't hate me too much.
Lynn, regarding your question on the seizures, you absolutely can do whatever it takes to get the word out. If it helps to save a life or to take the fear out of those that do not understand this illness, then I am happy. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.
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