This afternoon, the girl scouts in the troop will be picked up from school. My co-leader and Eventempered's mom are set to pick the girls up at the flagpole. Twelve had informed me a few days ago that she would not get into a car with any of the other girls. Oh, no not again..I thought.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to take a walk with Twelve. She told me that she wouldn't get into a car this afternoon with any of the girls from the troop, because they all hate her. I asked her why she thinks the girls all hate her. She said "They all hate me because they blame me for "Flinger" not being in the troop anymore." You know what... Twelve is right. The other girls in the troop do hate her because they blame her. What makes it even worse is that I was the leader to kick Flinger out of the troop, not my co-leader. So Twelve gets the double whammy...and all of the hate.
Which leads me to the way that I am feeling right now. I am extremely pissed off at my co-leader for wimping out and not taking care of the Flinger situation. She put the total burden on me because "She was too much of a wuss to stand up and do the right thing. She was too much of a wimp and unwilling to stand up for my daughter, unwilling to be a leader." (when the going got tough, she ran the other way). It also bothers me is that if the situation was reversed, and it had been her daughter and Flinger who had had the altercation, I would have stood up for her daughter.
So, as I was leaving work today, I had an epiphany. I owe absolutely NOTHING to anyone in the troop, and that includes my co-leader. I will re-register Twelve and I into the troop for next year because we have a lot of money in Twelves "scout account" which we can only access as part of the troop. (This is money that the troop "credits" each girl for each box of cookies that they've sold. Twelve has over $250 credit) If we drop out of the troop, then the money reverts back into the general troop money. If we re-register for the troop, and Twelve and I want to attend any Girl Scout events next year (just the two of us)...there is no way that I will ask anyone else, we will be able to get the money from the troop account, and not from my pocket.
I want nothing to do with anyone from the troop (except for Eventempered and her mom). As soon as the Silver Award Event is completed and we have a ceremony to give each of the girls that earn it, their Silver Award, I am truly done! Other than getting checks from my co-leader to cover expenses next year...Twelve and I are done, not with Girl Scouts but, done, done, done with everyone in the troop. I can't even begin to tell you how liberating that is :~D
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12 comments:
Good for you! You are right, you owe them nothing, especially after everything Twelve's gone through. Girls can be so mean. After raising a boy and a girl, I think the worst times came when we had to deal with "mean girls." Boys just punch each other and get on with life. Girls hold grudges and snip and snipe at each other, drawing whomever they can into the crowd to snip and snipe with them. It's just another form of bullying.
Enjoy the new freedom!
Sorry things went this bad, but I can see how it would happen. Especially if the other girls are all still friends with flinger...although I can't see how that's possible.
I agree with you that you shouldn't have to put up with this any more. It's a same that your money isn't really yours. but we have the same thing with our troop. We used to have it where each girl's money went toward their portion of our monthy dues...but then we decided that it was easier to just not bother with the monthly dues. If something comes up we take turns buying it and then used the QSP & Cookie money to cover the rest. It's working for us now.
I hope that the rest of the troop realizes what a mess they've made of things soon.
good for you cuz. I am assuming you won't be a scout leader once this is over. I think you and 12 will find the pressure is off now since both of you realize that neither one gives a rat's butt.
When the Silver award thingy is over, you might want to tell your co-leader how unhappy you are. That's a real liberating feeling.
Hallelujah! Doesn't that feel good? I hope you manage to spend every penny of the money too!
Congrats on taking a stand. It's sad that some (if not all) parents would be involved. Look, if the other kids are mad that someone was asked to leave the troop, if a number of other parents had been involved, maybe the situation could've been different. You gave it your best, but working with your daughter alone for the best that scouting can offer has got to be more rewarding...
Lynn, I proud that your are standing up for yourself (and Twelve). I am disappointed that it had to come to this for the two of you. The drama you speak of, has prevented me from wanting to get involved with organizations more than I care to admit.
Pam - You are so right on...girls really can be mean, and they do seem to like to gang up to do it.
Renee - It surprises me the hold that Flinger seems to have on the rest of the girls. It really is a shame that I can't pull the profit that Twelve and I brought into the troop through cookie sales and just have Twelve be a Juliette.
Only Oldest - I'm hoping that after the Silver Award ceremony, thatI find the guts/courage to tell my co-leader how I really feel.
Meno - I do plan on spending every single penny in Twelve's scout account...I don't care what the events are, if it gets toward the end of the year and we haven't used all the money, well...I will figure something out :~) (After all didn't I tell Joan to call and book all of those appts with the ex hairdresser?)
Ralph - I am really looking forward to having the Girl Scout experience with just Twelve and I. That way, she will be able to get my undivided attention, without having to share me with girls that she doesn't like.
Patches - You can be sure that I will hesitate before I get involved in another organization. I think that Ten might want to get involved in Boy Scouts...yikes.
Good for you on taking a stand on this Lynn. You will have a much better time, just the two of you.
As for Boy Scouts, I think they run a tighter ship. I could be wrong.
Like zero tolerance of such behavior?
Since we talked right after your epiphany, you already know that I think you're doing the right thing! Now Twelve will be able to enjoy all the experiences, events, and programs that Girl Scouting provides without the heartache and angst of being in a troop of Mean Girls (Eventempered excluded). And you'll be a heck of a lot calmer and relaxed!
I'm sorry that you are having to take these measures. But in the end Twelve's (and yours) happiness and sanity is what's important. From what I've read, it sounds like you guys have tried to improve the situation but to no avail. It's really too bad and in the end, it will be their loss.
Patti - I think that you are right about Boy Scouts. From what I have also heard, the do run a much tighter ship...which will be great as long as I don't have to be the captain.
Joan - Thanks for your support. You're right, I think I will be more relaxed and calmer. At least I hope I will be.
Arm - We have tried hard to work this all out. But it really is a lost cause. These girls blame the innocent party (Twelve)and not the perpetrator (Flinger) for Flingers dismissal from the troop. Maybe someday when they are older, and hopefully more mature, the girls from the troop will look back at what happened and realize the part they played in the troops demise. One can only hope ;~)
Exactly - DON'T be the captain. Just help if you feel you need to.
as for the girls, they eventually will grow up, and hopefully learn from this.
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