Elle is taking a chorus class at her school, and last night was their performance. There were two things that Elle told me, while on the way to the concert that should have served as red flag warnings, and had I heeded the warnings, I would have turned the car around and driven her straight home. But I didn't, hence this post.
It all started on the long, arduous, 1/2 mile car trip to Elle's school. (We would have walked, but it was pouring...and those of us who ever watched The Wizard of Oz, knows what happens when you get wet...so we drove). Elle turns to me and says "Don't expect me to do any of the dance moves...they're dumb!" and "Don't sit in the first row. You can sit in the second row, but I don't want anyone I know in the first row."
Red Flag alert! Red Flag alert! Warning! Warning!
I had a moment of thinking "Uh, oh." Then chose to ignore it. After all, Elle has been so sweet lately, I thought for sure that we were done with the "Evil Elle". What a fool I was!
Of course she didn't want me in the first row. She did not want to see the look of horror, embarrassment and anger on my face as she chose to stand on the risers, with her hair covering 1/2 of her face, and not move at all...while all of the other students were moving in unison. One lone body on the top right of the riser just standing there while everyone else moved to the left and the right, then raised their hands and nodded their heads, and did a boat-load of choreographed moves. One lone student drawing attention to herself by not moving.
At first I was concerned that Elle was not feeling well. After all, she had thrown up Saturday night on the top floor landing. (thank you so much for missing the bathroom tile by ten feet). I was worried that maybe her stomach was bothering her and she was feeling too sick to move with the rest of the students...poor thing.
But then I watched her demeanor between songs. She smiled at one of the girls standing in her row and did not seem to be in distress at all. My concern turned to embarrassment...not for me, but for her. She looked absolutely stupid up there. Standing out like a sore thumb. Not moving other than to make sure that her hair was covering 1/2 of her face. I was embarrassed for her that her friends and acquaintences at school would see her up there and figure that she was some kind of 'freak'. My heart felt for her.
And then, my embarrassment for her turned to anger. As the concert continued, I realized that I was angry at Elle for disrespecting her chorus teacher, the other students in the chorus, and the audience. She wasn't sick. She wasn't scared. She was being defiant. She was purposely sabotaging the performance.
I don't know what that was all about. I asked her, after the concert, what her behavior was all about...her response was..."I don't know".
Which leaves me here, the morning after, wondering what, as her parent, I am supposed to do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 comments:
Just a little yuletide rebellion on her part. Elle is at an awkward age.
It shall pass.
She was honest with you, at least. She doesn't know why she did it.
I don't have any sage advice to offer.
I think I keep telling you this -- but why didn't anyone tell us parenting could be so painful? I agree with patti -- she doesn't know why she did it. Not sure that helps out with your embarrassment and anger.
Hang in there.
who understands teen girls. They are a species unto themselves. Pity the poor teachers who have to cope with these incredible hulks.
I ma guessing the next time you will turn the car around.
What a shame she did that. After all, most in the audience wouldn't know what she was up to, but the chorus might have noticed...and may remember this at the next concert...
I wonder what she is so angry about.
Will there be any consequences? From the teacher or the other girls?
:) Can appreciate how you feel, but the only thing you need to do is whatever you do every other morning. You've done your thing by attending. Leave her alone, she'll be distressed that you didn't make any comment and will be more likely to tell you eventually what (if anything) went on. Sometimes you simply must do unexplainable things that at the time seem utterly logical. :)
Merry Christmas!
Puberty is a poorly written novel with no plot com[osed in english, translated into Mandarin Chinese, translated back into English. Things that were once meaningful, get lost in translation. In the ove- interpretation of text, the plot becomes completely irrelevant.
Statement make any sense? Good. Neither does puberty.
No advice. Just support. And compassion.
I agree with those who said to say nothing...if she wants to have a crappy time and have her friends get angry with her (and the Choir director too) then let her.
I just think it was a waste for her to be in the choir if she wasn't going to participate.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. That must've been painful to watch. Obviously she has a chip on her shoulder and if it was my child, I definitely wouldn't pursue it anymore and if she wanted to come to me, I would leave the invitation there for her. This time of the year is stressful and believe it or not, even for teens! Just my opinion.
Um...I have no wise words for you as you traverse the evil years of teendom with Elle. Just close your eyes and push on through.
I like what Joan said but maybe if you close your eyes and tap your heels together three times you will be back in Shawbridge with no cares in the world.......
re: cookie director...it's just for our troop and will only be for 7 girls...most of the activity will be from my own child. Although the troop does want to do some booth sales...I'll have to figure out how to do that.
I did it last year and the paperwork was a breeze. The storing of cookies will be fun as if we sign up for a booth we have to order cookies for it.
Patti - Good to know that it will pass...but when???
Jodi - They must have run out of the parenting books, before Elle was born, that would have told me what being a parent is really like.
The Moose Buyer - You are guessing right!
Ralph - It really was a shame. This is the one and only performance this semester...next semester she moves over to Drama. As if she needs anymore drama in her life.
Meno - I don't know that she even knows what she was so angry about. Maybe it was the "stupid dance moves"...maybe she wanted some input and didn't get any...I really don't know. If I were the teacher, her lack of performance would be reflected in her grade...but I don't know this teacher at all...so we'll just have to wait and see.
Isadore - Welcome to my blog. I hope that eventually she will figure out why she did what she did and then share it with me.
Patches - Thanks for the support. I know that I lived through puberty...but man, the second time through is rough!
Renee - I think that it was a waste of time too.
Michele - Thanks for your input. This is a stressful time for everyone, and being a teen is stressful in and of itself. However, her poor behavior is not excusable.
Joan - If I close my eyes, will it go away?
The Moose Buyer - Those were sure good, happy times.
Renee - Glad to hear that you didn't take on the job for the whole service unit:~)
Hey Lynn, look on the bright side. Elle may be a great acting talent.
And as for when it will pass: how does 2012 sound?
Aren't teenagers fun? Probably best to bury her now and dig her up in say, 6 years. That should do it.
Hope it gets better.
She sure does have a lot of grit to stand up there in front of so many people and be a rebel. At 38 years old I honestly don't think I have enough self confidence to do something like that, even if I wanted to.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Patti - Four more years of this joy??? I don't know if I can make it. sigh
Deb - That's a good idea...or maybe I could just sleep for the next 6 years, and wake up when she's no longer a teen.
Marsha - "Grit"...I like that word. The thing about Elle is that no one can make her do something that she doesn't want to do.
Post a Comment