A Tired Mama

I Think I May Have A Screw Loose

2009-05-28T20:31:00.001-07:00

I saw my podiatrist yesterday. One part of my foot is still hurting (it's been almost two months since the surgery). He thinks it may be one of the screws in my foot. That means the screw needs to come out.

I asked him if he had some sort of magic wand to make the screw magically come out . He said that he doesn't (darn it!)...and that I need to have "a procedure" to have the screw removed : ( The "procedure" will take place in his office on June 15th.

I am not looking forward to it : ( sigh.......breathe in...breathe out

ER

2009-05-05T20:36:00.000-07:00

Please someone remind me...in case I forget...that I should NEVER go to the ER without a phone charger, an ipod charger, and a warm blanket...sigh.

Handicap Parking Spaces

2009-04-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Since I've had my foot surgery, my podiatrist signed off for me to get a temporary handicap parking placard. I've really needed it these past few weeks, as walking for even a short distance is difficult (my almost 88 year old mother walks faster than I do these days...sigh). I've decided that there are a lot of people on this planet who need to experience first hand what it feels like to look for a handicap parking spot only to find that they are all taken : (

Dear Bitch in the Lin.coln Navi.gator,
I want to thank you for your thoughtlessness the other night. Clearly the fact that you drive a big-ass SUV means that you are absolutely allowed to park in as many spaces as you want. In fact, your parking job was so thoughtless that I think that you should teach a class to other self-involved bitches instructing them on the proper technique for taking at least two parking spaces, and for making sure that one of them is a handicap parking space. My daughter and I especially enjoyed how you walked out of the store and got into your car without any apology to me for taking up the one spot that I needed to park in. That's right, the one that was painted blue with a white wheelchair on it. I must have missed your placard.

I want you to know that I am looking forward to the day when you need to park in that spot, and some other self-involved bitch makes it impossible.

BTW, in the State of California, the fine for parking in a handicap parking spot, when you don't have a placard is...$250-$500 for the for the first offense...of course, seeing how thoughtless you are, I'm thinking that you have already worked your way up to 3+ offenses at the cost of $750-$1,000 each. Please remit your check to any DMV office.

Signed,
Limping along slowly

Return To Work

2009-04-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm going back to work tomorrow. If I wanted to take off two more weeks, my podiatrist would write a note for me. It's just that I have so much to do...so many reports to write, so many meetings to attend...and most importantly...so many children to see.

I'm not sure how I will hold up. Tomorrow I plan on spending the whole day writing reports...yuck. Today I fell asleep on the sofa at 11:30am...how will I ever last until 3pm? Tomorrow should be interesting...sigh.

Don't Tell Anyone

2009-04-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

Shhhhh...don't tell anyone...especially not my podiatrist...but I drove today. Yep...I couldn't stand relying on other people to take me places or to get me what I wanted...so I grabbed Elle, she grabbed a wheelchair...and off we went.

I felt great getting behind the wheel again. Of course, Elle told me that I looked pretty dorky driving with my left leg up on the dashboard...but a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do. We accomplished quite a bit:

Pharmacy - picked up prescription...didn't have the kind of kitty food we needed : (
Supermarket - picked up apple pie filling...didn't have the kind of kitty food we needed : (
Pet supply store - picked up the kitty food we needed : )
Different supermarket - picked up blueberry pie filling : )

Whew- each stop we made was quite a production...Elle had to get the wheelchair out of the back of my car...push me into the store and reverse it once we were done. It reminded me of how it used to be when my kids were little and I would lift the stroller in and out of the car. (I remember how strong and 'cut' my arms looked back then...sigh)

Elle had worked up quite an appetite not only lifting the wheelchair in and out of the car...but also pushing me around in it...so we stopped at the local ice cream store. It made perfect sense to me, to get Elle two scoops of icecream to go (and to get some for DH and Sport)... however, I can't figure out exactly why I also needed two scoops of icecream...I was just sitting in the wheelchair the whole time...sigh.

We came home, I put my foot up and now I am ready for a nap...hopefully no one will eat my icecream while I sleep...breathe in...breathe out.

Time Limps On

2009-04-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

I am now one week post surgery and have learned some important lessons:

My bathroom is a long, long, long way from my bed. (o.k. fine...it just feels that way)
I am a well-hydrated woman. (see #1 above)
Showering while standing on one leg is tough.
Shaving while standing on one leg is tougher.
I'm pretty tough.
Accepting help from others is difficult for me.
I expect perfection from myself...but not from others.
Going down the stairs on your bottom is more fun when you're a kid.
Going upstairs on your bottom doesn't really work : (
Sometimes I whine...for no other reason than I am feeling sorry for myself.

Clearly I've had a lot of time on my hands to sit and do nothing. Before the surgery, I had a fantasy that I would use my time in bed to organize my bedroom (by cleaning out my dresser drawers) ...instead I've used my time to veg-out in front of the TV...sigh

People Don't Think

2009-03-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am having foot surgery on Thursday...why do people feel the need to tell me "what a horrible experience they had 20 years ago?"

The Meeting From Hell

2009-03-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to recover from a meeting that I attended in which I was verbally attacked/abused by a parent... and the administrator did absolutely nothing to stop it.

In my many years of work, I have attended meetings where the parents have disagreed with my recommendation and findings. I accept that. I understand that many of these parents have fought the school district for years in order to receive my type of services. and that although their children no longer need my services to access the curriculum, these parents are reluctant to 'let these hard-won services go'.

I believe that it is my job, as the expert in my field, to explain to parents why it's a good thing that their child has made progress and is no longer in need of my services, and to reassure these parents that I will continue to be available as a resourse to their children, their children's teachers, and to the parents themselves, even once their children are dismissed.

In the hundreds, if not thousands, of meetings that I have attended, over the years, there have been a handful of times that the parents have demanded a 'second assessment be done by another trained professional'. I have never been bothered by these demands, as I have always felt confident that additional testing, by someone else, would continue to yield the same results. In most of these cases however, the administrators, have always controlled the meeting and kept all parties maintaining a certain level of decorum...until the meeting this past Thursday (which by the way was not at one of my schools).

On Thurdsay the participants arrived at the meeting with a high level of stress, knowing from a pre-meeting the previous week, just how unreasonable this parent could be. The tension in the air was palpable. The parent had been given a copy of my report, which included the good news that the student no longer needed my services or support in order to access the curriculum. Standardized testing, classroom teacher reporting, as well as student performance were all included in my report.

The moment I started to speak, the parent questioned the validity of the tests...stating that "asking a few questions doesn't count" and that "a Social Worker with a masters degree can administer the test" (and her point would be???????) It went downhill fast from there. At that point, the administrator should have spoken to that parent and suggested that this parent allow me to finish my report, and that there would be time to discuss it when I was done. Instead the administrator did nothing and the parent continued to escalate into quite a tirade. What spewed forth from this parents mouth was nothing short of verbal abuse. This parent accused me of : being a pawn of the school district, being a liar, being incompetent, and being unethical.

At no time did the administrator attempt to stop the parent, or the meeting. I sat there frozen. My heart was pumping wildly, but I was so taken aback by what was happening that I couldn't even get up and leave. I have no idea what I actually said during the meeting, because everytime I tried to speak, the parent continued her verbal attack.

Finally, the adminstrator said that we should take a vote as to whether or not this student should continue to receive services from my department. EXCUSE ME !!!!! What the hell was she talking about...."Take a vote"????? HAD SHE LOST HER MIND ??????? You don't vote on services...either a student meets eligibility criteria...or they don't. If the parent disagrees, they can write that down in the meeting notes, and an independent review will be conducted. In my professional opinion, based on all information at my disposal, this student did not qualify. For an administrator to then ignore what I have said and decide to put it to a vote was beyond unprofessional.

Believe me when I say that I was ready to "blow a gasket"! The administrator said that she wanted to take a short recess to conference with me. We stepped out of the room and the administrator had the audacity to ask me to ignore: testing, teacher input, clinical observations and just allow the student to continue to receive services to appease the parent. EXCUSE ME!!!!! As keepers of the public's money, we are entrusted to spend that money wisely. To ask me to sign off on spending the public's money unwisely, just to appease a parent (which would mean that the money wouldn't be available for a student who DOES need the services) is unconscionable.

So I took a deep breath and told the administrator that she was acting very unprofessionally by allowing the parent to take control of the meeting, by allowing the parent to accuse me of being incompetent, a liar, and unethical, and by asking me to be unethical by recommending services just to appease a parent. The administrator's reply was "Um, you know how the parent is."

I have never in my life come across such an incompetent administrator. Maybe I've just been incredibly lucky. If I was new to the profession, I would have quit that very day. For now, my heart races when I think of attending another meeting (of which I have 31 scheduled between now and the end of April). This experience has really shaken me to my very core. I am trying to breathe in and out and remain calm...but at the moment it is a losing battle.

No Expiration Date

2008-10-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

The other day, I read my sister's post and I now know who is to blame for the fact that I have so much clutter...it's clearly my parents fault! In her post, Joan spoke about how our parents never got rid of anything until all the life was sucked out of it (Joan used the work 'frugal'). It didn't matter if it was a jacket, a television, a lamp, a car. As long as the item could still be used, it was.

This has translated into my life in the following way... I see something that I don't need at that moment, but I want to have it "just in case the one that I already have, dies", or "just in case the store runs out and doesn't have it when I need it". Then what happens is that the original item either never dies, so I continue to have a spare (or two, or three) hanging around...or I decide to use the new item, but the original item is still useful, so I can't possibly throw it out. (Which would probably explain the W*nnie the P*oh, Batm*n, and Power R*nger comforters, among other things, that I haven't been able to part with)...sigh.

At times I have circumvented this dilemma in the following way...I take the still useful item and donate it either to a friend, neighbor, or a charity. I can justify getting rid of a 'perfectly good _______ (fill in the blank)...if I know that someone else will continue to use it and get some enjoyment from it. But that only works when I am ready to replace the old item with the new. Sometimes I just not ready to 'let go' of an item...usually for sentimental reasons, yet it needs to be replaced. Then I end up holding on to both (see the above comforters) items.

It's only when I get fed up with the clutter, or I am thinking about having to pack up the car in case I need to evacuate (which thank goodness I didn't have to do), that this extra 'stuff' starts to bother me. Fortunately/unfortunately that's where I am now...if I can only find the time to follow through, I might actually be able to go against the lessons in frugality that I learned from my parents, and get rid of some stuff... if only...sigh. Breathe in ... breathe out.

To Pack or Not to Pack

2008-10-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

Received an email from my local community...it was actually a 'community update' regarding the fires here in Southern California. It recommended that all residents in my area load-up their cars and be ready to evacuate at a moments notice. Currently, there are no fires within my immediate vicinity, however three years ago there were fires located near where the current fires are, and overnight the fire travelled over the mountains and reached my community.

Three years ago, we were awaken at 1:30am by a neighbor pounding on our front door telling us that the development up the hill from us was being evacuated, and that we should start packing up our cars....which we did. At 2:30am the county sheriff was pounding on our front door, recommending that we evacuate our home which we didn't. It wasn't a mandatory evacuation...just a strong suggestion.

Last time, I remember looking at the stuff that I chose to pack, and at the stuff that I chose to leave behind...It made me realize that I have lots of stuff. a lot of unnecessary stuff. Evidently I haven't done a darn thing about it...because here it is three years later and I still have way too much stuff.

This time, I am somewhat at a standstill re: what to pack. I've gotten together some of the family photos (including computer disks)...but not all of them. I've made a list of things to remember to put in the car...just in case. On my list I've written down that I should grab the important papers(including my moms), two laptops (the family one, and mine from work), the desk top tower, picture boxes ( and I've put some loose pictures in a plastic container), Amber (the dogs) leash, the kitty's...their two carriers...and their litter box! Food for the animals, medicine for each family member, clothes for a few days.

I can't think of what else is really important. Instead of packing everything into my van...I'm sitting here posting...trying to decide if it's really necessary to put it all in one place, or if making a list is enough. I'm wondering if I am in denial that the fire will come this way again...or if I'm being optimistic that it won't. My head hurts from breathing smoke all day, and I just want to go to sleep.

Just to add to the fun and excitement... Sport threw-up this afternoon, I think that it was a reaction to all of the smoke. Thank goodness I have a carpet cleaning machine in my garage (actually, I have two)...and although I think that it is a god-send everytime someone throws-up on the carpet, I will not be adding it to my list of things to take, in an emergency. I sure hope that Sport feels better soon, I sure hope that we don't have to evacuate, and I sure hope that the fire season passes quickly, and that no more lives are lost...and that no more homes are lost.

I would say...breathe in...breathe out...but with all of the smoke and particulate matter in the air, I'm thinking that wouldn't be too healthy...sigh

Can't A Girl Catch Her Breath?

2008-09-30T15:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how quickly time has flown by since school/work started. It's already the end of September. Heck, I can't believe that this year is almost over.

Work has been keeping me really busy. I'm still working part-time, but instead of working a shorter day, five days/week, I am now working slightly longer days on four days. One would think that with one less day driving to work that I would have lots more time on my hands. Somehow, I don't = (

Elle's 14th birthday is this week. We're planning on going to Disneyland the end of the month to celebrate = ) Talk about time flying by...it feels like she was just born yesterday...sigh

Life here continues on a somewhat even keel...I'm not complaining, given the alternative. I'm still trying to find time for me. However, it seems to be elusive. I'm thinking someday in the not too distant future, I will have plenty of time on my hands...and then I'll look back on these days and maybe even long for them. It's hard to imagine having too much time on my hands. I'm guessing that I'll find things to do to fill up the time, but for now, I'm just look for some time to catch my breath.

I Need A Room

2008-09-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

Work started...waaaaaaa. I've been really busy scheduling kids and doing an inordinate amount of paperwork. Fortunately, paperwork and organizing schedules are two things that I am really good at, otherwise I would be up the proverbial creek. Unfortunately, the excessive amount of paperwork that I am required to do takes time away from what I really love to do which is to work with kids.

I am trying a somewhat new attitude this school year...I am attempting to let go of the expectation that I will actually have a room to work in at my high school. Last week I went to the school just knowing that there wouldn't be a room for me (since they unceremoniously moved someone else into my room with three weeks left in the school year last June...without giving me any notice or warning), and lo and behold...I wasn't disappointed. When the principal looked me in the eye and said that she couldn't get to it until the next week (meaning this week), I was able to smile and say...great, I look forward to coming back next week (now this week), instead of throwing a pissy attitude about how I am a professional and expect to be treated as such.

This reduced expectation doesn't preclude me from fretting about the way that I am treated at that particular school. It doesn't stop me from being pissed off that I have had to move eight, now nine times in the eight years that I have been serving that particular school. It doesn't stop me from resenting the principal's favorites who never have to move. The change in attitude just allows me to remain calm and not blow a gasket at least in that moment.

Today I am going back to that school. Despite the principal telling me that I would have a room this week, I am 99.999% sure that I won't. If you hear a loud thud this morning, it may just be me, fainting, if they actually assign a room to me. Breathe in...breathe out.

She said...she said

2008-08-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

I think that I need to start carrying around a digital recorder. Either that, or a translator unit that can translate from teenager to parent and back.

Although my profession has trained me in the area of communication and communicative disorders, there seems to be a big gap with the communication between myself and Elle. For some strange reason, I am able to effectively communicate with Middle School and High School students, and have successfully done so for many years. However, I seem to be having great difficulty when it comes to communicating with my own daughter.

I wonder why that is. Could it be that I filter whatever she is saying to me through what I want for her?...or is it that she is filtering what I am saying to her through what she wants to hear? Either way, conversations, the past few days, have been ending with Elle screeching either "I never said that, don't put words in my mouth!", "You never said that, you're making this up now", or "You just don't understand!"...at which point Elle storms away from me.

I am running out now to go and get that digital recorder...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.

They're Back In School

2008-08-27T09:09:00.001-07:00

Both my kids went back to school today, Elle to High School, and Sport to Middle School...and I feel really sad. This summer passed way too quickly and I am not ready for them to be back into the grind of school.

Homework, early morning wake-ups, rushed breakfasts, homework, afterschool activities, did I mention homework?

I miss my kids. Normally I would have gone to some Professional Development days (for work) but this year my district decided not to pay their employees to attend the "Buy Back Days"...so I decided to extend my summer vacation by 3 more days. I guess the price that I am paying for not going to those classes, is that I miss my kids...and they've only been gone for one hour...sigh

If I am feeling this blue when I know that I will see them both in a few hours, I can't imagine what I will feel like when they go off to college...shudder... breathe in...breathe out. This parenting thing is hard!

Maybe if Elle hadn't been so worried this morning about starting High School, getting her schedule, and finding her classes, I wouldn't be fretting so much. Hopefully when she arrives home this afternoon, she will have good, happy stories to tell me about her first day of High School. Sport on the other hand, went off to a new school (Middle School) happy as a clam. Hopefully his joy won't be squelched.

I wonder, if as a parent the worrying about your kids ever stops...and if so, when?

I'm going to try to distract myself...sitting here fretting is not going to make the day go any faster...I'm going to head to the nearest big box store for some retail therapy...breathe in...breathe out.

She's Gone

2008-07-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

Sunday night Yulia left to return to Russia=~( We are all sad. Now that both foreign exchange students have gone our house seems really, really empty with only the 5 of us, the dog and the two kitties. It is so hard to believe that four weeks have gone by so quickly. It is almost frightening how it flew by. Sometimes I feel like my life is flying by as days turn into weeks, which then turn into months and then years. I mean, wasn't it just New Years 2000?

The day before Yulia left, we took her minature golfing. It is something that she had never done before and she really enjoyed it. Then we took her to some outlet stores so that she could shop some more. Let me tell you...this girl really likes to shop! So much so, that as she was packing her suitcase to go home, she ran out of room and ended up leaving 2 bags (like purses) and a whole bunch of bathroom stuff which has labels in Russian, so we have no idea what they are for =(

We have already received an email from Yulia and she has arrived home safely. We've been receiving emails pretty regularly from Indonesia which is really nice. It's strange though...the emails all come from the future...sometimes, we even respond to the emails before they were written...boy is that weird!

I have seven more days of summer school, and then I will be off until September. I am so not looking forward to school starting, both for Elle and Sport, and for me. Yet, I know that it will be here in the blink of an eye...I guess that means that I better try to enjoy every moment...breathe in...breathe out.

He's Gone

2008-07-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

This weekend our foreign exchange students went to San Francisco, and we went camping with three other families up in Bass Lake, California. We camped at a beautiful campsite right on the lake...well not exactly ON the lake but the lake touched our campsite...here's a photo from our campsite.

We had some visitors in the morning...

Beautiful you say????? Let me tell you these geese must never sleep! Starting at 9pm both nights they started honking...and they honked all night long. Now if they would have honked in a rhythmic way, that might have lulled me to sleep...but no!!!! All night long we heard "honk, honk, honk, honk, honk...pause for 12 seconds, then 5 honks with an 8 second pause. The pattern continually changed and kept us awake the first night...sigh.

On Sunday the four families rented a boat and we also rented a big thing (like an innertube without the hole in the center) and took turns taking rides on it. It was so much fun! Sorry, no pictures of me in a bathing suit. I have the pictures, but there is no way that I would post them! lol

Monday night Surya left to go back to Indonesia:~( Words cannot express how sad we all feel. He was such a great kid, saying goodbye to him was really difficult. Needless to say, there were many tears (mine) and lots of hugs and promises to keep in touch. His leaving definitely took some sunshine from our home. Saying goodbye, especially since we don't know if we will ever see him again is tough.

We have Yulia until this coming Sunday. I am trying not to think about her leaving. In the meantime, there is so much to do...breathe in...breathe out

Why Won't Some People Accept An Apology?

2008-07-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo tired! Yesterday, Yulia and Surya went to Six Fl.ags Mag.ic Moun.tain and didn't get back to their school pick up point until midnight. That meant that we got home about 12:20am and they didn't settle down until about 1am.

The good news is that they both had a terrific time and were so excited and animated in their retellings of the day. The bad news is that even though we got home at 12:20am, they didn't settle down and get to bed until 1am...which meant that I didn't get to sleep until about 1:30am...and I had to wake up at 6am.

I used to be able to function on four and 1/2 hours sleep...not anymore. I was totally wiped out today at work. Fortunately, it was a day filled with paperwork...and my lack of being 100% didn't affect the kids I work with. Of course, when I review my paperwork tomorrow, chances are it won't make a lot of sense and I will have to redo everything tomorrow...sigh.

On a different note, I hate when someone yells at me, I apologize, and then they continue to yell at me as if I never apologized. Here's what happened. I was at one of my schools today. I was given a room to work in that had recently had the floors waxed, so all of the desks, chairs, computers were stacked on one side of the room. I mentioned this to the Asst. Principal when I arrived at the school this morning, and asked her if it would be alright if I moved a table and chairs to the other side of the room so that I could work with some students. She said that would be fine.

So...I was busy working on my laptop...minding my own business...trying to stay focused enough to get some paperwork done and this maintenance worker (we'll call him MW) walked by my door. He looked in and started yelling at me, telling me that I scratched the floors and that I shouldn't have done that. Being so tired this morning when I moved the furniture, it did not register that I was scratching the newly waxed floors. Sure enough, I looked where the man was looking and yep, my dragging the heavy table across the floor definitely scratched it.

I apologized to him telling him that I was very sorry that I scratched the floor. Instead of accepting my apology, he continued ranting and raving about how I should never have moved the furniture and that his supervisor would be really mad about it. I explained that I had asked permission before I moved the furniture and that I was really sorry that the floor had gotten scratched and that if his supervisor was mad, he could come and talk with me and I would explain what happened. Still MW yelled at me. By that point I had had enough of his yelling and I stood my very tired body up and yelled back at him. In fact, at that point I wasn't even sorry anymore...just angry that he wouldn't accept my apology. MW walked away in a huff and I sat down and just wanted to cry. What a wimp I am!

I vacillated between wanting to cry and being angry. Turned out I didn't cry, instead I called one of my friends, who usually works at that school, and proceeded to tell her what happened. She totally understood, knew MW, told me not to take it personally... that was exactly what I needed to hear. However, I am left wondering what motivates people to be unwilling or unable to accept someone's apology. Is it a power trip? Stupidity? Innate nastiness?

I need to get to bed...and soon. The kids are heading up to San Francisco tomorrow for the weekend and they will be picked up at 5:30am. One wants me to wake them at 4:30am and the other at 4:50am...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.

They Made Fun of Me

2008-07-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

Last night the kids and I were sitting in the living room talking about Russian money, Indonesian money and American money...and comparing/contrasting them.

I was showing the kids some coins that I've gotten during my travels, and we were discussing how pretty and colorful the Russian and Indonesian paper money is, and how the U.S. money...even the new bills...aren't as colorful.

During this whole money discussion, the kids were trying to get me to say "rupia" and "ruble". Rupia being the name for the Indonesian currency, and Ruble being the name for the Russian currency.

The kids were saying the words which I will not repeat since I cannot seem to say them correctly. Evidently, both of the words start with a "trilled r" which no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to pronounce. Elle was able to say the sound...but not me. Needless to say, I was quite frustrated and my inability to get my tongue tip to vibrate up and down. (I felt like a clumsy oaf!)

Yulia let me know that it took her about 2 weeks of practice (when she was little) to learn to say this sound, and Surya told me that he had to teach his older sister how to say it. (I think that they were just trying to make me feel better). However, each time I tried to say either word with the "trilled r" in it, they both cracked up. Not a good sign.

Given my profession, I pride myself on being able to correctly produce all sounds (at least the sounds which are present in the English language)... and I've always prided myself on my ability to hear subtleties within different languages/accents. But try as I might, I was not able to correctly produce the sound last night...I think that I came close...but still they cracked up. Even though I will be working today...I will spend the entire car ride to and from work trying to get that sound! sigh

There Were Fireworks

2008-07-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

This weekend we took the kids to see Fireworks. On the 4th of July, we had a BBQ with some firends, and then went to a nearby mall to watch a fireworks show. (Actually we parked on a street about 1 mile from the mall). Not only did we get to see the fireworks...we also saw a fire on a hill, that was started by the fireworks...yikes. Fortunately, the firefighters were stationed on the hill where the fireworks were being lit, and the fire was put out quickly...whew!

Last night, a local park held an outdoor concert, and another fireworks display. This time we were up close to where the fireworks were being set off. It was loud, bright, and quite impressive! All the kids really had a good time!

Today everyone is off to various activities. Sport is off to camp from 8-3, Elle will be a Senior Program Aide at a different Girl Scout Camp in the afternoon, Yulia will have class this morning and then take a tour of UCLA, Surya will have a class this morning and then head off to Universal Studios, and I head off to work summer school.

We are all starting to feel sad that our time with our foreign exchange students is drawing to a close. Both kids will go to San Francisco next weekend (we will be camping with some friends), and then next Monday, Surya will leave :~( He is an awesomely funny, polite, and helpful kid and none of us are looking forward to his leaving. Yulia will be with us for one additional week.

I am trying to take one day at a time...but the days seem to be flying by...sigh.

Can't Anyone Get Some Sleep Around Here?

2008-07-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

The meeting between Elle and the foreign exchange students went well. We spent the day walking around the town of Big Bear and then ate lunch there. Afterwards, we drove home. Everyone fell asleep in the car, including DH...everyone except me that is. Since I was the one driving, that was a very good thing.

That night we had 4 tickets to the Dodger game. DH took Sport and Surya, and I took the girls shopping. Turned out the Dodger game was an historic game (Dodgers won 1-0, without getting any hits, only the 5th time this has happened in baseball history). Surya loved the game, the stadium, participating in "the wave"...and came home singing "Lets go Dodgers!".

The girls loved shopping. Of course...what's not to love:~) Both were successful and purchased some items...lucky for them.

Elle is finding it strange that she needs to knock on her bedroom door before she enters. (the reason that the door is closed is to keep the kitties inside her room...for now). Elle chose to give Yulia her bed and instead to sleep on a mat on the floor...she is finding that very comfortable.

We took the kids to the beach on Sunday and they went "boogie boarding". They all had a blast. Today Surya and Yulia are going to Disneyland and won't return to the "pick-up" point until midnight...sigh. Tomorrow we will all (hopefully) sleep in for the 4th and then swim and BBQ with some friends. In the evening we are hoping to be able to watch some fireworks.

The kids have been really busy and are tired. Maybe they'll catch-up on some much needed sleep tomorrow morning. Maybe. I need to catch up on some much needed sleep as well. I return to work next week...having chosen to work summer school. Fortunately it will only be for four weeks and then I will still have about three weeks off before the next school year. This summer feels like it is already flying by...sigh...

Gotta run and drop Yulia and Surya off so that they can catch their bus to Disneyland.

Update..O.K...so I forgot to post this in the morning...it is now 11:20pm and I just received a phone call that they left Disneyland 1/2 hour late...that means that I won't be picking them up until 12:30am...yawn...I will definitely be sleeping in on the 4th!

Getting Ready for Elle

2008-06-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning, we are all getting up at 5:30 am so that we can leave the house by 6:30 and drive about 2 1/2 hours up to the mountains to pick up Elle from camp. I can't wait. I've really missed her, and I know that Yulia is anxious to finally meet her American sister.

For the past two years, I have driven Elle to camp and have picked her up by myself...allowing the two of us to have some decompression/talking time, as a transition to get Elle ready to come back to the 'real' world. This year will be very different...not only is Yulia driving up with me, but so is Sport, Surya, and DH. I hope that the onslaught of people is a positive experience for Elle and not too overwhelming.

We plan to take a drive to the town near the camp and visit the lake that is there. We expect it to be a full days adventure. I'm thinking that Elle and the rest of the kids will fall asleep on the drive home. Tomorrow evening, we plan to go to a free concert at a nearby park. That is, if everyone is up for it.

This is the only weekend that we will have both students with us. Next weekend, Yulia will go (with the group) to San Diego, and the following weekend Yulia and Surya will both go to San Francisco. I wish that they were both coming camping with us instead:~(

Today Sport mentioned that it will be really hard when they go home. He's right...it will be. Sport said that he hopes that the students that we get next year will be as nice as Surya and Yulia. What??????? Did he say next year??????? Yikes.....breathe in...breathe out.

The Russian has Landed!

2008-06-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

Late, late last night (after 11pm), the bus carrying the Russian students, and most importantly (to us) Yulia, arrived at the designated pick-up point. Once the lights inside the bus came on, Sport picked out Yulia right away. She came off the bus looking so lost and exhausted, but as soon as she saw the sign we made for her, her face lite up:~) I gave her a big hug and she held onto me, almost for dear life, and hugged me right back.

I introduced her to Sport, Surya, and of course my DH. We brought her home and she got to meet my mother, Amber (the good doggie) and the two kitties. She said that she wanted to take a shower (even though it was almost midnight). Who can blame her, after sitting in an airplane breathing in airplane air for all of those hours, I can certainly understand her wanting to wash the grime away.

She opted to allow the kitties to sleep in Elle's room with her. (that's where they usually sleep). I can tell (probably because she told me) that she can't wait to meet Elle this coming Saturday, and is willing to wake up at 6am, on Saturday, so that we can be on the road by 6:30am.

This morning I helped Yulia send an email to her mother and father (using an on line Russian translator to put the words into the Russian alphabet) then Sport and I took Yulia and Surya to the bus stop so that they could go to school today. I felt like I was sending my kids off to kindergarten as the two of them got on the bus. Hopefully when I pick them up this afternoon, they will have stories to tell about their day.

We'll also be taking home a French boy this afternoon...but just for a few hours. His host family is going to the Dodger game this afternoon, and don't think that they will be back in time to pick him up... So I will take him home with me until they get back. Thank goodness all of the kids speak English otherwise we would need to resort to pantomime. sigh

At this moment, I am definitely feeling sleep deprived. I probably didn't get to sleep until about 1:30 (I wanted to make sure that Yulia was settled in...Surya and Sport fell asleep a little after midnight...and then I just couldn't fall asleep). I woke up at 5:30am. I am off to take a nap. Once I wake up we'll see what the day brings...that is until it's time to go to the bus stop.

I am missing Elle, and can't wait for her to come home. The house feels full, but it's a good full, and once Elle returns the family will be complete.

The Indonesian has Landed!

2008-06-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

Last night Surya, our Foreign exchange student from Indonesia, arrived! In the morning I told Sport that Surya was on the plane and on his way here. I couldn't believe how excited I felt. As the day progressed, the excitement continued to build. At some point during the day, we had to take Midnight to the vet so that she could get a shot to get rid of the tapeworm. However, even that trip to the vets couldn't dampen our spirits.

Surya was scheduled to arrive at the pick up location about 10pm, however approximately 6:30pm we got a phone call that said that the plane had landed early and that we should plan to pick him up between 8:30 and 9pm. Sport, DH, and I couldn't wait. I called my sister, Joan, to give her the update and she was excited too. It was strange, but once we decided to host Surya, he became ours. What I mean by 'ours' is that he became part of our family and all day, I found myself thinking about him and hoping that his flight was comfortable.

Around 7:00pm we received another phone call telling us to be at the pick up point at 8pm. When we arrived at the church parking lot there were lots of other families waiting for the buses to arrive. The excitement throughout the crowd was palpable. I can't really describe how I felt when the buses pulled into the parking lot. Watching these kids get off the buses, tired from their long trip and looking worried that their host family might not be there...well it was hard not to get somewhat emotional. Finally Surya got off the last bus...I recognized him right away from his picture. He recognized us by the sign we carried that had his name on it:~) He immediately hugged Sport and bowed and shook hands with DH, then bowed to me. Of course I whipped out my camera and captured that moment for posterity.

Surya seems like a nice boy. He and Sport really hit it off. Today Surya and Sport are spending the day at a sports camp. Classes for Surya don't start until tomorrow, and Sport was scheduled to attend the camp today. It will be interesting to hear what Surya has to say about his first American camp experience.

I wish that Elle could have been there with us. It saddens me that she missed out on the excitement and experience of watching Surya come off of the bus and be welcomed into our family, and that she will miss the experience of picking up Yulia tonight. Even though Elle will have her own "first contact" with both Surya and Yulia on Saturday, I still wish that she could have shared this experience with us.

Tonight we will drive back to the same pick-up parking lot this time with Surya, and we will all share in the experience of meeting Yulia for the first time. She's already on the plane...I can't wait.

Tapeworm

2008-06-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

Elle is gone for the week to a sleep-away camp, and the care of the kitties has fallen on moi. So the first night Elle was gone, I read a book in her room and let the kitties crawl all over me...no problem...yet. Sunday, I also spent time in Elle's room hanging with the kitties and trying to help them not be upset by the change in their routine...namely Elle not being around. Once again, I laid (or is that lied) down on Elle's bed, read a book, and let the kitties crawl all over me. Only Sunday night, as I picked up Midnight, I noticed what appeared to be a small grain of rice stuck to her coat, on her back leg.

I used a tissue to remove it...thinking to myself at the time..."Um, this looks like either a grain of rice, or a maggot". (Don't even get me started on how I know what maggots look like). But being busy, trying to get my house somewhat ready for the foreign exchange students, I didn't give it another thought...that is until I found some more "grains of rice" on Midnights hind leg.

Of course she had been crawling all over me at the time...and this time, it was coming out of her tush...EWWWWWW! Of course the vet is closed until tomorrow, so I researched what it could be online, and have determined that what I saw was tapeworm... so now Midnight is in isolation, and quite unhappy about it. Twilight is upset that she can't be with Midnight, and I'm grossed out about the whole worm thingy.

I am off to vacuum the rugs and wash the comforters. Will need to get the kitty's to the vet tomorrow, after all, we have a foreign exchange student arriving tomorrow night, and another one arriving on Wednesday night. I certainly don't want to scare them away from America.

Can you just picture it..."Hello foreign exchange student. Welcome to America. Please make yourself at home. Just stay away from the kitties...and watch out for any stray pieces of rice you may find lying around". EWWWWWW.

Can You Say...Long-Winded?

2008-06-21T06:33:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, time has a way of getting away from me. I can't believe that my last post was over four weeks ago. sigh. Evidently I've been really busy...distracted...or maybe just really lazy. Lots has gone on in these past four weeks.

Got two new computers...a desktop and a laptop. Will post Elles persuasive letter to my DH and I, which convinced us that we needed not one, but two computers in the next few days.

School is out for Elle and Sport...oh yeah, and for me too:~) I will be working summer school (for 4 weeks this summer). Elle is excited because she wants to come to work with me and help me out, serving as a "typical" role model for the students that I work for. Usually during the school year I work with secondary students (grades 6-12) and then during the summer, I get to work with elementary school students (preschool-5th grade). For some reason, this summer I will be working in both middle and high schools...no little ones for me...boo hoo.

On another note...I really need to learn to say "no". A friend of mine volunteers for a company that arranges for students from other countries to come and stay here in the U.S.A. for 3-4 weeks during the summer. While here, they live with a "host" family, and attend school to improve their English (or is that American?). My friend asked Elle and me (we were camping with 2,000 girl scouts at the time ) if we would like to be a host family. Elle thought that it would be a fabulous thing to do...discussed as a family, and decided that we would be willing to take one student.

We looked at some applications, and decided that we would host a 14 year old girl, from Russia. She will arrive here this coming Wednesday night...we can hardly wait. OH, but there's more...when Elle and I went to the informational meeting, they mentioned that there were still about 19 kids who wanted to come to the Los Angeles area who still hadn't been placed....I bet that you just know where this is going...

Yep...we decided to take another student. This one will be a 13 year old boy from Indonesia. He will be coming this Tuesday night...yikes. This house is sure to be crowded...let's see...3 adults, 4 kids, 2 kitties, and 1 dog. I better run out to Target and see if they have any wall-stretchers. lol

I need to get going...I am going to drop Elle off at a sleep-away camp this afternoon. She'll be gone for 1 week. The camp is located a few hours drive away from here...up in the mountains. When she returns, they'll be a new brother and a new sister here. The boy is sharing the room with Sport, and the girl will be sharing the room with Elle. It may be strange for Elle to come home to another person living in her room. It should be interesting. Hopefully this will be a positive experience for all of us, and hopefully all of the kids will connect and make life-long friends. That's my wish.

No Computer Yet...sigh

2008-05-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

We have decided to buy a desktop and a laptop (the desktop with gaming capabilities for Sport, and the laptop with music capabilities for Elle). We still haven't decided on which ones. There are some good prices out there, but when you add in a 3 year warranty, and a 3 year anti-virus type protection, suddenly the price becomes not quite so good...sigh:~(

On the kitty front, Elle and I took the kitties to the vet yesterday. Midnight doubled her weight in two weeks and went from 1 pound to 2 pounds=^..^=, and Twilight went from 1.6 pounds to 2 pounds in the same time period=^..^=. They both weighed enough to get their vaccinations...needless to say, I am the mean one who held them while they were injected...and Elle is the nice one who stood back and had nothing to do with it all...sigh. They both received another round of de-worming...yuck. Both of them were low energy last night and this morning, not eating much...but they've seemed to have perked up this evening:~) (Their pictures will be posted as soon as we get a computer)

Work is winding down. Sport and Elle have 16 more days of school until they each culminate, and I have 21 more days of school until summer vacation. woohoo! At this point in time, I am still slated to work summer school. Sport doesn't want me to work (even though it's only 4 weeks and even though he will be in camp)...I think that he likes the idea of me being at home. Elle doesn't mind if I work, as long as she can come to work with me. I'm hoping that I will get some elementary schools to work at so that she can volunteer in some classrooms.

Did I mention that Elle earned the Gold level Presidential Service Award? DH and I are both really proud of her. She wants to continue volunteering both with Girl Scouts, at our church, and hopefully at my work. Good for her.

Now it's back to the internet (thank goodness for my work laptop) so that I can continue to fill my brain with more computer stuff...sigh...breathe in...breathe out.

Lap vs Desk

2008-05-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

Our desktop computer died. It wasn't a quick death, it wasn't a slow death. It took about a week. It started with the screen freezing, moved onto the fan sounding like a blow dryer, and ended with the light on the tower turning amber with nothing on the screen.

Now our family is without a computer..sob.

So we are faced with the burning question of whether to replace our dead desktop with a laptop...or a new desktop. And which brand...and what do we things to we need, and how much memory...and... oh wait that was more that just one question. sigh.

I am a true technotards. I have absolutely no idea where to even start to look to decide laptop or desktop. Elle wants an apple laptop...of course she wants it for herself. Um hello there...we need a new family computer. Didn't we just spend a boat-load of money on new kitties for her?????

Having just restored the desktop due to a virus...6 weeks ago, DH and I are not inclined to keep photos or anything important on the computer...we'll use flashdrives.

Does anybody have any suggestions for us? We basically need a computer for email, blogging (although I realize I haven't done much lately), playing games (Wor.ld of War.craft and Rune.scape. for Sport), and downloading music and burning CD's for Elle.

Make, model, amount of memory, video cards, etc...we're not even sure what it is we need. Anyone have any suggestions???

The Kitties Have Landed

2008-05-08T20:20:00.001-07:00

This has been a really hectic week. Last Saturday, Elle and I drove an hour to pick up the kitties that Rescue Lady told us about.

As we were leaving to drive there, we received a call from the Rescue Lady who told us that one of the kitties had a cold, and that if we wanted to wait another week until we picked them up, we could.

Yeah, right, sure, no problem. Um excuuuuse me but these kitties are for a 13 year old girl. She wanted them like now...if you know what I mean. So I told the lady, no problem...we were on our way.

Arrived at the rescue place...met kitties...rescue lady assured me that the kitties were 6 weeks old that day (yeah, right, sure) rescued/adopted two kitties...bought 'stuff' for the kitties...drove home much poorer but with two cute kitties.

On Tuesday, Elle and I took the kitties to the vet. The all black kitty (Midnight) weighed all of 1 pound (vet thinks she's 1 month old...the tuxedo kitty (Twilight) weighed 1 pound 6 oz. and is probably about 5 weeks old (did I mention that Rescue lady said that they were from the same litter?) Along with the cold, Midnight had lots of ear mites...Twilight had less ear mites and tested positive for round worm (looking more and more like Rescue Lady was not telling the truth about them being littermates). Had the vet deworm both kitties, got ointment for Midnights eye which was 'goopy' from her cold, and had the vet reconstitute some antibiotic that Rescue Lady gave to us for Midnight.

Our vet was able to get blood from Twilight to test for feline leu.kemia and feline a.ids. Because Midnight is so tiny...vet was unable to take a blood sample from her, so he will try again when we return in two weeks for another exam, and I believe another deworming.

Needless to say, we left the vets a lot poorer, but at least we left with two hopefully healthier kitties. We've taken some pictures...and I will post them as soon as I can charge the battery in my camera. Breathe in...breathe out.

A Kitty Tale

2008-04-30T21:24:00.001-07:00

DH and I promised Elle a kitty if she brought her grades up, and promised to be responsible for the kitty's care. Her grades are up and it looks like she will be getting a kitty this Saturday from a rescue group.

Rescue group woman told me that the kitty that Elle wants, has a sibling. Rescue group woman sent pictures of alleged kitty sibling. Rescue group woman said that if we take both kitties that she will only charge us for one of them. Rescue group woman does not play fairly.

I have a feeling that Elle will be bringing home two kitty's on Saturday...sigh.

Rescue group woman said to buy a scratching post that is made of rope. Elle wants something that also has a ledge for the kitty to sit on. Does anyone have any ideas as to where we could get something suitable for one (or two) kittys? I used to have four kittys, but they were indoor and outdoor kittys and didn't need any fancy scratching posts...they had the great outdoors. These kittys...oops did I just say these???...I meant this kitty will be an indoor kitty. Any other suggestions as far as litter boxes, food, toys...etc????

I am still tired from the camping trip this past weekend...Rescue group woman certainly caught me at a weak moment. Breathe in...breathe out.

Let's Hear It For The Hormones

2008-04-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

I'm going camping this weekend with 2,000 Girl Scouts (ages 12-17) and about 500 adult volunteers. Yikes...that's a lot of estrogen all in one place! Wish me luck!

Traaa ditioooon..bum bum bum (pause for 3 beats)....Tradition!

2008-04-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I was making dinner when suddenly all of the power to the microwave went out. Mind you, no other power anywhere in the house went out...just the microwave. It's the kind of microwave that is installed about the stove and is expensive to replace.

After breathing in and out...I unpluged the microwave and plugged a night light into the outlet, checking to see if somehow we might have tripped a circuit breaker...no such luck. DH and I looked at each other, sighed a big sigh, and stated that we probably had to go and buy a new one. (Given that this one is only two and 1/2 years old, we were not too happy about it) Fortunately with DH having a new job to start, the freaking out about the cost of a new microwave was not in my consciousness:~) whew.

It surprises me that if this had happened two days before, both DH and I would have been stressing about buying a new microwave, but because we now know that he will be starting work the end of this month, we reacted in a very different way to the situation.

But I digress...so there we were faced with a microwave that appeared deader than a doornail. (Fortunately we didn't need the microwave to finish preparing dinner.) Saturday we needed to light some candles, part of our tradition. We thought about 'blowing off' (no pun intended) lighting the candles, but instead, ultimately decided that lighting them was an important part of the evening. We all gathered in the kitchen to light the candles. Just as Elle was going to light the candles, DH glanced over at the microwave and the power came on.

I'm thinking that my dad and all of our relatives who have passed... were appeased.. Letting us know that they are still watching over us, and reminding us that traditions are important to maintain the chain that passes from one generation to the next.

Yippee Skippy

2008-04-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

Since DH has been unemployed, he has been picking Sport up from school every afternoon. Yesterday was a day just like the others...only different:~) Sport came running in the house and said "Guess what?...Daddy has a job!"

Now you must understand that Sport is quite the little joker (can't imagine who he takes after...lol). Before I was ready to get excited and start jumping up and down, I asked Sport why he was telling me this momentous news and not Daddy. Sport explained that Daddy was still in the car, and on the phone with "L".

I happen to know that "L" was one of the people, where is used to work (before his company split in two and he ended up at the awful place that laid-him-off) that was working hard to get him hired over in their department. So I started to feel some hope tenatively bubbling within my stomach. Still reluctant to get too excited I walked outside and waited for DH to get out of the car.

Sure enough...he has a job. He will start on April 28. He now officially has one week of unpaid vacation to get ready to go back to work. The great thing about this job is that he knows all of the people that he will be working with...and he likes them and they like him. In fact, the people that he will be working with all threw him a surprise party the evening of his last day of work ...(I sure hope that they don't want their gift back)...heeheehee

Anyway, that is my good news for now. Actually I would say that it's great news. There are still some particulars to work out, and some papers to sign. It's not a union job so in 14 months his health benefits will expire. Fortunately, he will be covered under my health plan, and he is already 'vested' in the union, so when it comes time for him to retire, he will still be eligible for his pension.

I can definitely say that I would much rather be dealing with these details, than stressing out about him not having a job. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and know that I have a lot to say about that subject. However, I'll leave that for another day.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend...I know that we will:~)

Advice Sought

2008-04-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

DH continues to look for work. I signed up to work summer school. Money is tight. However, none of these things are what I need advice about.

I have a dilemma that I could really use some help with. I just found out that someone that I know has been reading my blog. This makes me uncomfortable. It's not that have said anything bad about this person...it's just that it creeps me out that they know stuff about me and speak to me as if I had shared this stuff with them personally. I haven't blogged in a few weeks partially because I don't want them to know everything that is going on in my life.

I'm not sure how to handle this. Asking them to stop reading my blog won't work. I know that some of you have faced this dilemma before. Any help that you could offer to me would be greatly appreciated.

Interview Update

2008-03-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

DH said that the interview went really well. They have some more people to interview, (hopefully they don't but just told him they do) and they will call him sometime next week.

DH was definitely less stressed after the interview. I am hoping that the less-stressedness (it's a word now, because I just used it:~) will continue until he lands a job. (I know that hope is probably purely fantasy, but it is my hope none-the-less).

I suspect that as next week progresses, DH will turn back into Grumpy... at least until he hears back from these people.

Breathe in...breathe out

I'm Crossing My Fingers...

2008-03-26T18:05:00.001-07:00

DH just got a phone call. He will have a job interview tomorrow (Thursday) at 10:30am. You can be sure that I will have all of my fingers, toes and my eyes crossed hoping, praying, and visualizing that they will offer him a job that fits his criteria...good pay, enjoyable, long lasting.

Breathe in...breathe out...

Can You Say "Too Much Time Together?"

2008-03-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

DH is still out of work. I have been off of work this week for Spring Break. DH wants to follow me around when I complete my errands. egads!

I've definitely enjoyed going for walks with DH and the dog. I've also enjoyed laughing and joking around with hubby. I've enjoyed that he has been available to take Sport to some of his sporting practices. It's really nice having someone to share in the afternoon chauffering. However, I still must say...enough is enough! I need some time to go and run some errands by myself. Alone. Solo. Just me. Well, I'm sure you get the idea:~) DH has decided that everytime I go to run an errand...he wants to come with me. Invariable this makes the errand last twice as long:~( Again, don't get me wrong...for the most part, I am really enjoying spending time with him...just not enjoying entertaining him.

I guess that's what it really comes down to. I have figured out, over the years, how to entertain myself...and the kids. Entertaining DH has not fit into the equation in a long, long time. Maybe it should. Maybe that is part of what a marriage is about. It's just that I'm not used to it.

It sure would be great to win the lottery...of course I would have to buy a ticket first... breathe in...breathe out.

Update

2008-03-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Things have been really hectic here. Lots of reports to write and meetings to attend. Haven't had a moment to myself...until now. Still have alot more: students to assess, reports to write and meetings to attend... there just doesn't seem to be any end in site. Fortunately, I will have next week off from work to try to catch up on my report writing.

The scope of my job has changed in the past few years. Accountability seems to get in the way of providing services. This really pisses me off. I find that when I am able to work with my students that I get rejuvenated and renewed. When I am stuck with the paperwork aspect of my job, then I become drained. Last summer I was able to take off and not work. It was really good for me. This year, unless DH gets a job (please keep your fingers crossed), I will need to work summer school again. This makes Elle, Sport, and me...very sad:~(

In happy news...Elle got the part she wanted in the play that her Drama class will be putting on, in May. She is really excited about it, and it is nice to see her enthuastic about something. Sport is enjoying playing baseball, and his coach is playing him in a way that is helping Sport thrive...hopefully that will continue.

DH continues to look for a job. No luck yet, however I have been treated to some wonderful home cooked meals courtesy of DH:~) I am focusing and affirming that all will be well and am continue to remind myself to...breathe in...breathe out...

He Turned It Down

2008-03-06T07:03:00.001-08:00

DH called the place that had offered him a job at approximately 1/2 his previous salary and told them that he couldn't take the job. He explained that he really didn't think that it would be a 'good fit' for him.

They told DH that they really appreciate that he didn't take the job (while continuing to look for another job), have them take the time to train him, and then quit. They really thanked him for not wasting their time.

DH is really a stand-up guy:~)

Breathe in...breathe out...

The Blahs...

2008-03-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm not having a very good day today. I'm overwhelmed, stressed out, and feel like I could cry at any moment.

Aside from the stress of DH not having a job, I am overwhelmed at my job. Since I have 4 different schools that I serve, there is no coordination of assessments and meetings between my school sites. Therefore, what I am currently faced with is 3 meetings tomorrow, 4 on Monday, 1 on Tuesday, 1 on Wednesday. I have had to assess 7 of these students and am required go through the assessments, figure out what each of the students needs, and write a 4 page report for them. Then I have to attend all of these 9 meetings and somehow figure out how to continue to provide therapy for my kids.

There is definitely not enough time in my workday to get everything done (at least not if I want to do it right), so I end up having to write my reports at home. I really resent this. Since I work in a critical shortage field, the higher ups dole out caseloads that far exceed what can humanly be worked with (at least not if you want to provide quality therapy...which I do). The paperwork at times is overwhelming...and unfortunately, this is one of those times.

I have just finished writing up the last report that I need for tomorrow...did I mention that I have 3 meetings tomorrow...and that I only work part-time.?..sigh.

I need a vacation! Fortunately, I will have one week off of work starting Friday 3/14 at 12:40pm...I can hardly wait.

The Last Day

2008-02-29T07:02:00.001-08:00

Today will be my DH's last day at his present job. (breathe in...breathe out).

He had a job interview yesterday, and was offered a job at less than half his current pay. The work would be mind-numbing. The amenities (access to a phone or computer) are non-existent. Did I mention that the pay is less than half of what he is currently earning? The thought of working at that job thoroughly depressed DH. The thought that, that would be the only kind of job that he would be offered has sent him into a tail-spin.

I know...at least he has a job offer. But at what price? Would it be better for him to take the job (any job) and continue looking for work (at least he would be bringing some money in)? What if each day at the new job would slowly eat away at him? Depress him? Reduce him to being less than he can be?

Would it be better if he doesn't take the job and continues to actively look? What if at the end of his severance pay period, he still doesn't have a job? Would he then kick himself for not taking the one job that he was offered?

It will be interesting to see what happens when he meets with the HR people for his exit interview. He has been offered 6 weeks of severance pay with a possible additional 6 weeks. There is some form that they said he would have to sign, in order to get the additional 6 weeks. DH has already spoken to our family friend/attorney and will fax the form to her as soon as he gets it. I am hoping that his receipt of the extra 6 weeks of severance pay is not contingent upon him not working. I guess we'll know later this afternoon.

In the meantime, DH told these people that he would let them know next Wednesday about the job. DH and I clearly have a lot to talk about. Did I already say... breathe in...breathe out?

Amending a Comment

2008-02-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, Ms Chica wrote a post which she titled "On Leaving and Being Left Behind". With my DH's impending departure from his place of employment, I got to thinking more about the post.

In my comment to Ms. Chica, I stated that "You are so right that it is much easier being the one leaving than being the one left behind. Part of that is that the person that is leaving gets to experience something different (even if it is not new), while the one that stays is left with a void to fill."

I would now like to amend that comment. I think that the circumstances of leaving are really key as to whether it's easier to leave, or to be left behind. My DH will be leaving his work at the end of next week. On February 29th he will be expected to relinquish his employee I.D., turn in the key to his office...an office that he has worked in for twelve years, take all of his personal belongings, log off of his computer, turn off the light for the last time and leave.

Once he has taken care of business, he will then need to say goodbye to his coworkers, some of whom he has worked with for the past twelve years. I think that it will be a difficult good-bye. It is one thing to say goodbye to people, when you have the clear expectation that you will be seeing them again, and it is an entirely different matter when you have to say goodbye to people with the reasonable expectation that you will most likely never see them again.

Having worked in education in an itinerant position for many years, I have learned to cope with saying goodbye to students and staff at schools at the end of the school year. Some schools have been harder to leave than others (schools that I have been assigned to for longer periods of time). Some schools have not been so hard to leave. I think that the difference between the two was how 'involved' and 'attached' I allowed myself to become with the staff at the school. When the staff welcomed me, as one of their own, and included me as part of the staff (even though I was only there 1-2 days/week), I found saying goodbye far more difficult, than when I kept my distance throughout my time there.

Over the course of my career, I have learned to emotionally keep my distance from most staff at my schools...because I know that I could easily be reassigned at the end of the year. I still walk into the office in the morning with a smile on my face and greet everyone. I still smile and talk to the teachers in the course of performing my job. I still bring gifts to the office manager, plant manager, and other personnel over the holidays, as my little way of letting them know that I appreciate that they make my job a little easier. But I have learned over the years to maintain some distance and separation, because it makes the leaving not as painful. I realize that this means that I lose out on the bonds of friendship that I could have formed...however, after years and years of having to say goodbye to people...I have learned to protect myself from being the one leaving. I have learned that once I have left a school, despite the best of intentions, I don't keep in touch with anyone. The common bond that we have shared together (our experiences at a particular school) no longer exists. Our reasons for speaking together, or for sharing pleasantries is gone.

For this reason, I anticipate that next Friday when DH says goodbye to his co-workers for the last time...it will be tough. He will be saying goodbye to people that he has spent 8 hours a day, five day a week with, for twelve years. Despite the best of intentions, I seriously doubt that he will keep in touch with these people. I'm pretty sure that when DH gets another job, he will let them all know. I'm pretty sure that he will tell them to keep in touch, as they will tell him to do the same. But it won't be the same...and the bonds that kept them together, that kept them involved in each others lives will be gone.

In this case, as DH walks away from his office, and shuts the door, he'll be leaving (hopefully to a better experience)...but he'll be leaving alone, and he won't be returning. I think in his case, being the one leaving might just be harder than being in the group that is left behind.

"You've Got To Have Friends"

2008-02-15T07:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I worry about Elle. She seems to prefer my company to the company of friends. She would much rather hang out with me on the weekend (read that in the past that meant shopping together) then call a friend to get together.

While I am happy that she seems to enjoy my company, I worry...shouldn't a 13 year old girl should be hanging out with her friends outside of school...and not her mom?

I think that part of the problem is that Elle likes to be in control (I wonder who she gets that from?lol). She has a hard time being tolerant of people who are acting in a less mature way then she thinks they should act. She describes the girls who are the "poppy's" (as in popular) as girls who only think about themselves, how they look, and their place in their group. She tells me that they are all stuck up, thinking that they are better than everyone else.

Over the years, she has had special friends that she's wanted to spend time with...but then they grew apart (for whatever reason). She's been without a special friend at school since one of her friends moved on to the high school this year. Elle says that she hangs out with a group of kids (guys and girls) at school, and she has walked out to my car on many occasions...talking to different boys (egads!). I realize that if she was hanging out with her friends all of the time, I might have a whole different set of concerns/worries.

I love hanging out with Elle...I love that she enjoys volunteering with me on Sundays...I love listening to her perspective as we come across different situations during our time together. I am grateful for the time that we spend together. I just worry whether or not this is the best thing for her.

In Honor Of Valentines Day

2008-02-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

A PUPPY has been born in Japan with a large, clear, love-heart-shaped pattern in his coat. The Chihuahua was born in May as one of a litter to a breeder. Shop owner Emiko Sakurada said it was the first time a puppy with the marks had been born out of a thousand she had bred. She had no plans to sell the puppy, which has been named 'Heart-kun'. The long-coated male Chihuahua puppy was born in Odate, northern Japan

Happy Valentines Day:~)

Six Days A Week.

2008-02-10T18:32:00.000-08:00

After six days straight of cooking dinner I can definitely say that I am not enjoying myself. I don't mind cooking...but everynight??????? If I'm not careful, pretty soon I may be sporting a dress, pearls, high heels and an apron just to cook dinner...Donna Reed, June Cleaver, and Betty Crocker better watch out.

Now I realize that most normal people probably cook every night, and will go out to eat, or bring something in once in a while, or maybe even once a week. Up until this point in my marriage, I haven't had to do that. I've been very fortunate that my DH hasn't minded eating out or bringing food in a few days a week. My excuse (not that I need one) is that I work everyday, then bring the kids to their various activities and by the time we're finished...I am too tired to cook. I want some time to kick back and relax...and what better way to do that then to have someone else cook for me.

My DH is a fabulous cook...he loves to cook...he is a creative cook. However he doesn't get home from work until 7:30pm...and although we eat that late, it is just too late for him to start cooking dinner. His current job will end at the end of this month. Unless he finds another job before then, (and I certainly hope he does), I will gladly pass the cooking torch over to him.

I just had an idea...this may solve my dilemma over what to give DH for Valentines Day...maybe I should buy him an apron...just in case:~)

To Whom It May Concern

2008-02-07T15:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Mrs. XXXXX,

For just over two years, I was an only child, and then you decided to have your son, Sport. For over eleven years now, Sport has been a big part of my life, usually not in a good way.

Sport is addicted to online games such as "Trick.ster" and "Rune.scape". If there's an available computer, Sport is on it. On the rare occasions that I get online, he complains that he should be online, and not me. Or he will be in the same room as me, successfully figuring out ways to annoy me to no end, which, as you can imagine, makes being online, not only a rare, but also an unpleasant time for me.

Sport uses the phone more than anyone else in the house. The downstairs suffers from noise pollution, not only from Sport, but also from whichever friend he decides to call because he has become too lazy to hold a phone up to his ear, and talk quietly into it.

Sport is losing focus on the important things in life such as family, and fresh air. These games are a bad influence in his life. He talks about the games he plays like they're real, and loses his temper a lot more than before he started playing these games. I love Sport, but right now, it's just too hard to be around him.

In conclusion, I think Sport needs more time outside, and less time in front of a computer screen with a phone in front of him. I believe that you can help change his attitude about the computer, and make his virtual life his secone priority. I want my real brother back.

Sincerely,

Elle

Elle had an assignment in which she needed to write a business letter either: registering a complaint, paying a compliment , or making a suggestion as to how a company could improve their product. Elle decided to write her business letter to me. Please note that all the names were changed to protect the not so innocent...sigh.

Say What?...and then my jaw dropped.

2008-02-05T13:49:00.000-08:00

For those in a hurry...here is the abridged edition. (for a more comprehensive edition continue reading):
DH told me yesterday that he has been laid off of work effective the end of this month. He'll get 6 week severance pay.
Company downsizing.
YIKES!
Need advice on budgeting...and on sticking to a budget.
Did I already say YIKES?????

Here is the long winded version:
Yesterday, I got a call from DH. He said to me "You'll never guess what just happened." Mind you he said this with a quiet voice, not an excited enthuastic voice, so I knew that the ensuing dialogue was not going to be happy. However, what he proceeded to tell me left me with my mouth agape, and truly speechless. (which for me is quite a feat)

When I didn't bother taking a guess (after all he had just told me that I would never guess...so why bother) he went on to tell me that he had just been laid off of work. Not fired, laid off. While I understand that there is a distinction between the two (and for the purposed of explaining what happened to Elle and Sport, it is an important distinction) the results are the same. As of the end of this month, he will no longer be employed at his current job. They're giving him 6 weeks of severance pay, which I guess means in essence that he will continue to receive his paycheck for another 10 weeks. YIKES!

At this point in time DH is optimistic that he will be able to find another job before his paychecks run out. In fact the HR person at his place of employment asked him to bring in his resume and that she would work with him on any changes that need to be made to it. In addition, the HR person said that she will try to help him find a new job...possibly with the same company, in a different department.

I spoke with DH this afternoon and he has been very busy making phone calls and putting the word out that he is looking for a new job. I am glad, that for today a least, he believes that he will be able to get another job soon...and I hope that he is right. When we were first married, DH used to freelance. There were times that he would be on "hiatus" but know that he would have the same job back when the new season started. (During those breaks he was able to enjoy the time off, knowing that he had a job waiting for him) There were other times that the show that he was working on was cancelled...those breaks were filled with looking for work and stressing out that he'd never find another job. The stress level at those times was palpable.

Fortunately during the times that my DH was 'seasonal' we didn't have children, I worked full time plus I also had a private practice in the afternoons. Money was flowing quite freely during those times and his lack of income was just a blip on our radar.

Now we have two children, I work part time and while I am already taking on a full-time caseload, during my part-time hours (for extra money) the lack of DH's paycheck is a huge speed-bump on our radar. The thought of him not having a job (or a paycheck) is actually a huge, big deal on many level...the money level and his mental welfare (mine too).

I have lots of thoughts on this matter. I will save them for another post, once I am able to collect them and put them down to paper. In the meantime, I realize that I need to develop a budget, to prepare for a possibly worse case senario. Over the years I've developed many budgets...I'm just not sure how to stick to them. Food shopping/planning is the hardest for me...I just don't get how to make a shopping list (that would mean that I know what I want to make for dinner more than 5 minutes before I start cooking). Usually every afternoon finds me running to the store for whatever items I need for dinner that night. I realize that this is not at all time or cost efficient and with my DH's impending loss of income, it will not be a wise thing to continue to do.

Does anyone have any suggestions or helpful ideas...they would be greatly appreciated.

The Ballad...Part 3

2008-02-03T15:06:00.001-08:00

Here is the ballad that Elle turned in...

Late at night when the moon is high
and the air is calm and still.
I hear a sound outside my window
Beyond the window sill.

Chorus:
I hear the storm that's coming
I can smell the smell of rain
I think before the morning sun
My world will fill with pain.

I open up my window
see a movement in the tree
I fear that something evil
Will be coming after me.

I hear the storm that's coming
I can smell the smell of rain
I think before the morning sun
My world will fill with pain.

A flash as quick as lightening
Bursts before my eyes
I try to call for help
But no one hears my cries.

I hear the storm that's coming
I can smell the smell of rain
I think before the morning sun
My world will fill with pain.

Appearing right before me
with eyes as black as coal.
A vampire stands, shows his fangs
and decides to take my soul.

I hear the storm that's coming
I can smell the smell of rain
I think before the morning sun
My world will fill with pain.

This is the ballad that Elle turned in...what do you think?

The Ballad...Part 2

2008-02-01T15:28:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is ballad number 2. Elle did not turn this one in either.

Buzz goes my alarm clock
Monday morning, very early.
My ipod sounds out music
Mom will let me stay home, surely.

Chorus:
I don't want to go to school today.
Oh, please don't make me go.
I don't want to go to school
I think I'll pray for snow.

My father makes me breakfast
I don't think that I can eat.
I don't want to go to school today
Staying home would be a treat.

I don't want to go to school today.
Oh, please don't make me go.
I don't want to go to school
I think I'll pray for snow.

I think I have a fever
I'm sure my temperature is high.
My throat is sore and achy
My mother says "Nice try."

I don't want to go to school today.
Oh, please don't make me go.
I don't want to go to school
I think I'll pray for snow.

My excuses fell on deaf ears
I can't go back to bed
I'd rather be at Disneyland
But I'm stuck at school instead.

I don't want to go to school today.
Oh, please don't make me go.
I don't want to go to school
I think I'll pray for snow.

Fortunately Elle understands the futility of praying for snow, here in Southern California. Stay tuned for Ballad #3...the one that was turned in.

The Ballad...Part 1

2008-01-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is the first ballad that Elle wrote. (Keep in mind that we were , excuse the pun, 'warming up')

Ode To A Cold Room

I wake up in the morning
With icicles in my hair.
I see my breath before me
All I can do is stare.

(Chorus)
Cold room
Turn on the heat
Cold room
Let me warm my feet

I sit up in my bed
My bones begin to ache.
I can't even feel my fingers
I don't know how much more I'll take.

(Chorus)
Cold room
Turn on the heat
Cold room
Let me warm my feet

My clothes are hard and solid
Stuck together with some ice.
I need a hammer and chisel
or some heat sure would be nice.

(chorus)
Cold room
Turn on the heat
Cold room
Let me warm my feet

I walk over to the heater
Flick the switch to on, and then.
My mom says the heaters broken,
and it will be fixed....but when?

(chorus)
Cold room
Turn on the heat
Cold room
Let me warm my feet

FYI... Elle did not turn in this ballad to the teacher. Coming soon...The Ballad...Part 2

Two Things

2008-01-24T20:53:00.000-08:00

I was tagged for this Two Things meme by Patches over at Claw~less & Ball~less.

Two names you go by... Mommy and Lynn

Two things you are wearing right now...a sweater (it's cold here) and a silver bracelet.

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship...Trust and and good sense of humor (thank goodness I have both)

Two of your favorite things to do... read a good book and go to Disneyland with my kids

Two things you want very badly at the moment...I don't think that badly is a word, so right now I want a damn dictionary and a massage

Two pets you have or have had...Amber (the good doggie) and Redd (the good, but now deceased kitty)

Two people you think will fill this out...Renee and Patti

Two things that you did last night...Made a lentil loaf for dinner and read my book.

Two things you ate today...Acorn squash...leftover lentil loaf.

Two people you last talked to...DH and my mom

Two things you're doing tomorrow...going to work and taking Sport to basketball practice (unless it's raining, in which case I will just take him to for a piano lesson)

Two longest car rides...When Elle was an infant, it too us eight (8) hours to drive 300 miles to Mammoth Mountain, California and driving from New York to California (via the southern route...of course we didn't do this in one day:~)

Two favorite holidays...Halloween and um... I can't choose just two.

Two favorite beverages... water and water

Two people no longer alive who you'd like to talk to - My dad and my grandma and my grandpa (fine so that was three...so sue me:~)

The semester ends tomorrow...I'm hoping to post the ballads sometime this weekend:~)

A Groaner

2008-01-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

In honor of Ralph, who was very creative in his last response to my Disneyland post...Here's a really clever groaner for you. I wish that I could say that I was clever enough to have created it, but I wasn't.

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsier that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

See if you have De Gaulle to tell this to someone... I posted it here because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Still waiting for the ballads grade...

Ode To A Ballad

2008-01-21T08:47:00.000-08:00

Last week, Elle had an assignment in her Language Arts class. The assignment was to write a 4 verse ballad and include a chorus. Elle, asked me if I would help her write it... and since she rarely asks me for my help, I was glad to oblige.

I asked Elle what subject she wanted to write this ballad about. She suggested writing one about her ice cold bedroom (her room is always freezing which is great in the summer, but not so great in the winter). After we wrote that ballad Elle said that she had so much fun writing the first one, and that she wanted to write a second ballad, about school. Finally Elle stated that she decided that she wanted three ballads to choose from and that she wanted to have the third ballad be about a vampire. (she had just finished reading two books about vampires).

After all three ballads were written, Elle chose the darkest of the three (the one about the vampire). I am expecting a call anyday now from the school counselor, telling me that she is concerned about Elle's mental welfare... that should be a fun conversation.

(I will post the three ballads, just as soon as Elle gets her grade. I wouldn't want her teacher to google Elle's ballad and find my blog...I don't know if that would actually happen, but I don't want to take any chances)

I Went to Disneyland

2008-01-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went on a field trip with Elle and her chorus class to Disneyland... (in case you are wondering, this would be the chorus class that experienced Elle standing still during the winter performance). The teacher had asked for volunteers, and Elle asked me if I would please go...How could I say no?

For those of you that have never been to Disneyland, here is a picture of the Cinderellas Castle in the morning...

...and here is one of the same castle in the late afternoon.

What visit to Disneyland would be complete without having the pleasure of sitting in It's A Small World and hearing the same song over and over for 20 minutes???????

Wandering around the park I spotted none other than Jasmine and Aladdin.
And finally...Given that I live in Southern California...what trip to Disneyland would be complete without a 'star sighting'...I was coming out of 'Alice in Wonderland' and heard a man say "Coco, do you want to go on this ride?" Now I don't know about you but I don't often hear that name so I looked to see who was speaking...It was none other than David Arqu*tte, his wife Courtney C*x , their daughter, and their entourage. I figured that I had to snap a picture to show my blogging friends. Here is a picture of Courtney taken with my phone.
In case you are wondering, there were paparazzi located behind me...of course they had huge lens... and I made sure that I didn't get in their pictures...so you won't be seeing me in Peop*le Magazine anytime soon.

Out With The Old...In With The New

2008-01-15T12:56:00.000-08:00

Today I exchanged my old work laptop for a new one. I've been told that the new one is a lot faster (which isn't saying much since the old one worked at a snail's pace). I can say with certainty that the new laptop is definitely a lot heavier. (which isn't such a good thing).

I've been distracted the past few days, trying to be sure that I backed-up and removed all of my files off of the old computer (I know...nothing is ever really removed). I also spent time trying to be sure that any personal stuff was off of the laptop.

I am not really computer savvy, or literate...so it took me awhile to figure out how 'erased' I could make the computers memory. Evidently I did a pretty good job because the technician who took my old computer came to ask me if I had ever put any files on the old laptop...evidently he couldn't find any. Yeah me.

Now I get to spend some time playing with the new laptop...because, of course, they didn't give me any instructions on how to use it...sigh.

Taking Time To Slow Down

2008-01-10T18:18:00.000-08:00

Are you ever in such a rush while you are eating, that you forget to chew your food, and you kind of choke on it??? I really need to slow down.

Once I had kids, I started to gulp my food down. At least I think that's when it began. I started inhaling my food when Elle and Sport were little...hurrying to 'grab a bite' before they needed me. I know that it isn't healthy, I just am too lazy to retrain myself to slow down. Now Elle is 13 and Sport is 11...I still can't seem to slow down and enjoy a meal.

DH on the other hand enjoys taking his time....bastard!

Slow Start

2008-01-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wish that you could 'ease your way' into something, only to have to just jump right in? That is how I feel after today.

Returned to work. Told Elle and Sport to look at their return to school, as being one day closer to summer vacation. My mother would say that I shouldn't wish my life away. I know that she is right. I can't help it.

I love what I do. I just don't love all of the pressure and stress that comes with my job. Never from the kids (I love working with them)...just the faculty/staff and sometimes the parents.

Have a new student teacher. She started today and will be with me 3 days/week. Although once again it will be a lot of work for me (at least in the beginning), I enjoy the company...and I enjoy mentoring someone, and helping them learn how to survive in the schools.

Have an all day meeting tomorrow, which will help fulfill the continuing education requirements for my state license. I hope it's something interesting. Unfortunately, attending this meeting means that on Wednesday, I will have to see twice as many students. Sigh...they'll be no easing into work for me.

Boo Hoo

2008-01-06T07:59:00.000-08:00

The kids have to go back to school tomorrow...boo hoo. (homework starts again...yuck)
I have to go back to work tomorrow... boo hoo.
Enough said.

I'll Take Staying In The Dark for 2008

2008-01-03T20:23:00.000-08:00

I wonder... if I had a crystal ball, and could forsee what the coming year would bring...would I really want to know what was going to happen? Would I take a look? ... Or would I look away?

Given that I am somewhat of a control freak (but only in a good way, lol) one would expect that I would want to know what is going to happen to me and those around me this coming year. But I don't think that I would want to know...I mean, what good would the information be to me if I couldn't change the outcome? I think that having the knowledge of possible impending gloom and doom, without the power to effect a change would weigh heavily on me.

Now if I could somehow change the outcome based on what I saw in the crystal ball, would I then want this information? I don't know. What would happen if by changing the course of events (good or bad) in someones life, I inadvertently caused something even worse to happen down the road? Would I want that power? That responsibility?

Would I find comfort in knowing that something bad was coming down the pike? Or would I prefer to go along my happy way in ignorant bliss? Would I, knowing that something bad was going to happen, start a fight, or emotionally pull back from someone if I knew that our time together was to be measured in days, weeks, or months instead of years? Or would I hold onto them so tightly that I would emotionally smother them?

Generally, I am not one to bury my head in the sand. I prefer to know all the facts and proceed from there. But in this case, I guess that I would prefer to allow for the spontaneity and surprises that this coming year holds rather than having the year all planned out. I figure before I know it, 2008 will be over and I'll be sitting here wondering what 2009 has in store.

I Have Survived!

2008-01-02T19:44:00.000-08:00

I have finally come out on the other side of a horrible stomach flu. Monday morning at 1:30am I woke up Open Both Ends (OBE). Fortunately even in my deep state of slumber, I woke myself up and made it to the bathroom where I proceeded, over the course of the next 7 hours, to alternately hug my toilet, sit on my toilet, and sleep on the bathroom floor...and let me tell you my bathroom floor is not comfortable at all. I don't even want to think of the germs that were living there (that might make me sick all over again). I just couldn't pick myself up to get back to bed in between 'attacks'.

Once I thought it was safe to leave my bathroom, I proceeded to spend the rest of the last day of 2007 asleep in bed. I also spent the first day of 2008 in bed. I couldn't even get it together to turn on the T.V., read a book, or carry on any sort of conversation.

I hope that my ending one year in bed, and starting the new year in bed is not a portent of thing to come. Wait that didn't sound right...I hope that if I'm in bed it's for a good reason...no, no that's not right either...Oh heck...I hope the rest of this year finds us all healthy...and if we're in bed, it's because we want to be there.

Doing It Every Day???

2007-12-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

As if NaPoBloMo wasn't bad enough (and I will tell you from experience that it was tough to post every day for 30 days)...it seems that there are people who have decided that they want to post every day for a year. They will get a pass on February 29th but are committed to posting the other 365 days in 2008.

Are these people nuts????

An Open Letter

2007-12-25T18:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Cashier At The Grocery Store Today,

I understand that you are unhappy that you had to work on Christmas Day. Evidently getting triple your salary was not enough for you to 'fake' being in the holiday mood. Instead, you decided to spread your Christmas bah humbug to those of us foolish enough to walk through your check out line.

How about next year you do everyone a favor either call in sick, or sign up to be Scrooge in a local play.

A now grouchy customer

I Held It Together

2007-12-24T12:30:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been so extraordinarily exhausted that you cannot think straight, or hold it together for even one more minute? That is how I've been feeling. I guess the stress of my mom having the stomach flu...followed by DH having the stomach flu...followed by Elle having the stomach flu...followed by me not being allowed to have the stomach flu because after all, I am the mom, was just too much for me.

Friday Elle and Sport started their two week vacation from school (yippee...no homework for two weeks...no packing lunches in the morning...did I mention no homework?) I guess with everything winding down, my resistance just gave up. In the morning, I offered to take Elle and Sport to see a movie. Sport then invited his friend, and his friends sister (who happens to go to school with Elle). So I was committed to going...but as the day progressed, I started to feel nauseous. However, I promised that I would take them to see a movie, so I wasn't about to let myself feel sick.

Managed to hold it together to sit throught an afternoon showing of "Nation.al Treas.ure". The kids sat 4 rows in front of me which allowed me to sit by myself, snuggled under my down jacket and fight off nausea throughout the movie. The good news is that we all enjoyed the movie...and I never got 'sick' in the theater.

I've slept for the last three days, and am still recovering. Boy oh boy did I need that sleep!

A 180 Degree Turn

2007-12-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Elle is taking a chorus class at her school, and last night was their performance. There were two things that Elle told me, while on the way to the concert that should have served as red flag warnings, and had I heeded the warnings, I would have turned the car around and driven her straight home. But I didn't, hence this post.

It all started on the long, arduous, 1/2 mile car trip to Elle's school. (We would have walked, but it was pouring...and those of us who ever watched The Wizard of Oz, knows what happens when you get wet...so we drove). Elle turns to me and says "Don't expect me to do any of the dance moves...they're dumb!" and "Don't sit in the first row. You can sit in the second row, but I don't want anyone I know in the first row."

Red Flag alert! Red Flag alert! Warning! Warning!

I had a moment of thinking "Uh, oh." Then chose to ignore it. After all, Elle has been so sweet lately, I thought for sure that we were done with the "Evil Elle". What a fool I was!

Of course she didn't want me in the first row. She did not want to see the look of horror, embarrassment and anger on my face as she chose to stand on the risers, with her hair covering 1/2 of her face, and not move at all...while all of the other students were moving in unison. One lone body on the top right of the riser just standing there while everyone else moved to the left and the right, then raised their hands and nodded their heads, and did a boat-load of choreographed moves. One lone student drawing attention to herself by not moving.

At first I was concerned that Elle was not feeling well. After all, she had thrown up Saturday night on the top floor landing. (thank you so much for missing the bathroom tile by ten feet). I was worried that maybe her stomach was bothering her and she was feeling too sick to move with the rest of the students...poor thing.

But then I watched her demeanor between songs. She smiled at one of the girls standing in her row and did not seem to be in distress at all. My concern turned to embarrassment...not for me, but for her. She looked absolutely stupid up there. Standing out like a sore thumb. Not moving other than to make sure that her hair was covering 1/2 of her face. I was embarrassed for her that her friends and acquaintences at school would see her up there and figure that she was some kind of 'freak'. My heart felt for her.

And then, my embarrassment for her turned to anger. As the concert continued, I realized that I was angry at Elle for disrespecting her chorus teacher, the other students in the chorus, and the audience. She wasn't sick. She wasn't scared. She was being defiant. She was purposely sabotaging the performance.

I don't know what that was all about. I asked her, after the concert, what her behavior was all about...her response was..."I don't know".

Which leaves me here, the morning after, wondering what, as her parent, I am supposed to do.

What A Wonderful World

2007-12-18T07:05:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of the season... (I love this song)

The Lunch Is Over

2007-12-16T20:32:00.001-08:00

Survived DH's family coming over for lunch and a holiday celebration. Having gotten to a place of not caring, I was surprisingly relaxed.

O.K. not totally relaxed, because someone (that would be me) had to get the table and chairs set up. Get out the table cloth, dishes, platters, utensils...buy the food, make some food. Buy the presents and wrap the presents. Well you get the idea. Even though it was DH's family I ended up with all of the work.

Having had an exhausting two weeks, part of me was too tired to care. I did what needed to be done, but I certainly didn't look for any judgemental looks going between his family members. They could have all been shuddering at how 'lived-in' my house is, and I was just too damn tired to notice.

This was a first for me. I tend to want everything to be perfect, and I work myself into a tizzy. Bitchy, grouchy, grumpy (and whatever other seven little guys names you can come up with) usually describe my mood pre-company. Tired, listless, not stressing or caring, are adjectives that described me yesterday.

Turned out, I had a good time. Turned out, I believe they all had a good time too. Turned out even if they didn't have a good time, I chose not to care enough to pick up on their unspoken displeasure or judgements.

I'm guessing that next year, they will choose to have the lunch at one of their houses. Works for me:~)

I'm Learning

2007-12-14T07:10:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow DH's family is coming over for lunch. A few weeks ago I was totally and completely stressed about their impending visit.

Today I am so beyond tired that I really don't give a damn. If they don't like my run down kitchen, clutter, and flooring that has electrical tape on it to keep it down (we're looking for flooring ideas), then they don't have to come over again:~)

How's that for progress!

Happy Birthday DH...and Amber (the dog)

2007-12-12T13:05:00.000-08:00

Today is my DH's birthday. It is also our dog, Ambers, birthday too!

Lucky Amber gets to hang around the house. Lay (or is that lie) in the sun. Run around outside and bark at squirrels and other dogs. Go in the car. Go for a walk in the park. I think that Amber will have a wonderful day.

DH, on the other hand, had to go to work today. What's with that? I think that no matter what you do, you should be given your birthday off...with pay. Unfortunately his employer has other ideas.

I need to go pick up a special 'treat' for Amber...and Elle and I will go and get DH his gifts this afternoon (I would have gotten them this weekend, but 'stuff' with my mom, got in the way).

To my DH, and my doggie...Happy, Happy December 12th birthday to you both:~)

He's The Man

2007-12-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

After a week of depressing posts, I decided to lighten it up a bit. With out further ado, I give to you...'He's the Man"

The Week That's Been

2007-12-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

Warning...this post is one big whinefest. Proceed at your own caution!

This has not been a very good week. Last Saturday, my cousin Frank died. Then Friday, after I picked the kids up from school, I came home and my mother was on the sofa sleeping. After a while, when she still hadn't woken up, I woke her up to say 'hi' and she was quite lethargic, and told me that she had been throwing up. Which she had done...all over herself, the sofa, and the floor. Turns out she was 'open both ends' and didn't realize it.

Rather than go into the details, I will just say that I called Joan and we (mom, Joan , and I) spent 4 hours in the Emergency room (per a nurses suggestion). At some point, I bought adult diapers. (which didn't work by the way). The ER MD gave mom a prescription for anti nausea medication, but nothing for the diarrhea.

Yesterday was Sports championship soccer game (which his team lost) and I didn't want to miss the game so Joan came over to be with mom while I was gone. Joan decided to call a pharmacist, give the pharmacist a list of mom's medications, and see if there was something that we could give mom to stop her from 'going'. The pharmacist made a recommendation of a product which I picked up on the way home. This product, so far, has seemed to do the trick. I am hoping that mom doesn't end up with the opposite problem.

One of the things I noticed, and I know that Deb from A Tired Mummy totally understands, is that when someone has diminished cognitive capacity, as in the case of my mother, and they try to be helpful, they end up just making a bigger mess.

I am exhausted beyond belief. Today Sport has basketball picture day and a game. While DH takes Sport to his basketball stuff, I will hang with mom and keep an eye on her. I am praying that it was just a 24 hour bug and that she will be back to her old self today. Oh and did I mention, I have company coming over tonight? Thank goodness it's my family and not DH's family...but still, I need to move a table, set both tables...well you know the drill. sigh

Happy Birthday...Sport!

2007-12-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

Today is Ten's eleventh birthday. I guess that means I can't really call him Ten anymore. Let's see, his soccer team has a championship game today. He has a basketball game tomorrow, and he just finished "Fall ball" baseball. I guess that means that a good name for him would be "Sport". I ran the name by Ten and Elle and they both liked it...so Sport it is!

I cannot believe that it was eleven years ago today that he was born. I loved him from the moment that he was conceived. I knew that he would definitely be my last child, and I treasured each and every moment of his babyhood, toddlerhood, and childhood. O.K., maybe not every moment...I sure didn't treasure the sleepless nights, but overall as Sport passed each milestone, I remember thinking "This is the last time I will have a baby/toddler/child doing xy or z".

Sport is an amazing young man. He has personality... lots and lots of personality. He loves to talk...and talk and talk and talk. He's loving and cuddly, and he possesses good values (honesty being the first one that comes to mind). He's an all around great kid.

So Sport, on your eleventh birthday I want you to know that I love you, I love your smiles, and I love your sense of humor. I am so grateful to be your mom, and I look forward to watching you grow into the man that you will become.

Moving through Grief

2007-12-04T19:29:00.000-08:00

I think that it is possible to not really know somebody until after they die. The task of breaking down that which constituted someones life often reveals things that they compartmentalized, or kept secret while they were living. Without going into details (I'll leave those to Joan and Ina) there are bits of information, that we have learned about Frank, that have helped remind us that he was not a saint.

His death, and it's aftermath have made me think about and focus on just how open our lives become, once we have died. It makes me wonder what 'secrets' I have that my loved ones would uncover if I died (not that I am planning on dying anytime soon). I don't think I have any earth-shattering secrets, I'm the kind of person who tends to be open and honest about myself. (I'm just not confrontational). So I don't think that anyone would be shocked with anything they would learn.

But, if I were to die suddenly, I think after the initial shock, everyone who was left behind would curse me with every breath that they take. I think that they would feel intense anger they would have to sift through all of my excessive papers and clutter. They would moan and groan about how disorganized I really was, and how angry they felt because they would be left with the daunting task of throwing out my cr*p. Sure, they would remember the good things about me, but they would spend quite a bit of time and energy holding on to the anger.

The good news is that if everyone was angry at me and all my clutter, it might help them get over their sadness more quickly. It might help them transition away from the profound sadness and grief to a place of acceptance.

I think that is what has happened with Frank. There are so many details and so much 'stuff' and drama to deal with, that the raw pain and sadness are being pushed aside. I'm hoping the grief doesn't push back.

Grief

2007-12-02T07:48:00.001-08:00

It amazes me the impact that grief can have on a person. There are many things that can cause grief, but ultimately it comes from the profound feeling of loss. I am no stranger to grief having lived through it's stages many times. Yet intellectualizing grief doesn't stop the experiencing of it.

Yesterday, my cousin Frank died. Suddenly and unexpectedly. There was no time to prepare for this news, no time to slowly ease my way into wrapping my mind around it, BAM...it was a done deal, and suddenly I had to deal with it...or not.

When my sister told me that Frank had died, I felt absolutely nothing. There was Joan crying and sobbing on the phone and there was me, a cold hearted b*tch feeling absolutely nothing. I know what I was feeling was shock and disbelief. I kept waiting for Joan to tell me it was all a mistake. My mind, my heart, my soul were not ready to absorb the information that my cousin Frank, the man who told such engaging stories, and who made everyone laugh, was gone.

I managed to tell DH that Frank had died, and I was as cool as a cucumber as I told him. It wasn't until I stepped into the shower that I felt the first wave of sadness wash over me, and finally the tears flowed freely.

When someone dies, there are a lot of details to take care of. One of those details was to tell my mother that her beloved nephew was dead. Both Joan and Ina wanted to be with me when I told my mother. Fortunately my mom doesn't come out for breakfast until about 10am, which gave both Joan and Ina plenty of time to get to my house. My moms reaction, was to be expected...shock, disbelief, then tears...lots and lots of tears.

The real bummer for my mother was that as different people came over throughout the day, and they spoke of Franks death, the news of his death was new for her. It didn't matter that I had written all of the details on a piece of paper for her...she would forget, then learn all over again that he had died...and each time she learned of his death was like the first time. Finally last night Franks death moved from no memory to a temporary memory. We'll see what this morning brings for her.

I'm not really sure what, if anything I should do about reminding my mother about Frank's death until the funeral. We really don't know when that will be, since he wants to be cremated and then the ashes will need to be flown out to California from Georgia. Somehow I want to help prepare my mother for the service, so that she can move through the stages of grief. Realistically, once the funeral is over she will not give Frank another thought, unless someone brings him up. Subconsciously she may miss his phone calls but his absence will not be a part of her reality. However, her world will become just a little bit smaller without his phone calls, and the joy that they brought to her.

This saddens me as we start to muddle our way through the five stages of grief.

Rest In Peace

2007-12-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

Early this morning, I received a call from my sister informing me that our first cousin, Frank had just died. Joan had received a call from our cousin Ina . Frank was Ina's brother. Frank was only 61 years old. Way too young to die.

To say that we were all surprised, would be an understatement. Ina spoke with the coroner and was told that Frank died of a massive heart attack. He had been living in Georgia for the past few years. Joan, Ina and Frank's, son Brian, are leaving tomorrow morning to fly to Georgia so that they can: make arrangements for his body to be shipped back to California, take care of cleaning out his apartment, his office, and basically to take care of anything else that can be taken care of while they are there.

Frank was my mother's favorite. He called my mother about once a week, just to see how she was doing, and to make her laugh. And boy oh boy did he make her laugh. When Frank was on the phone with my mom, she would giggle and guffaw at the bawdry way that he would speak to her. And while my mother would soon forget that he had called, while she was on the phone with him she was animated and full of joy.

Although my mother won't remember that he has died, and while she won't consciously think to herself that he hasn't called in a while, the laughter and love that he sent through the phone lines will be missed.

I love you Frank...Rest In Peace.

Mission Accomplished

2007-12-01T07:25:00.000-08:00

There have been times in my life when I have started something, become discouraged, distracted, or I realized it just wasn't for me.. and I quit. There have been other times in my life where I have been willing, determined, and able to see something through to the end...and I have.

I wasn't sure what would happen with NaBloPoMo. I knew when I signed up to participate and posted it on my blog, that if I decided to quit people would know about it (not necessarily care one way or the other, but they would know that I was a quitter). I 'encouraged' my sister, Joan to sign up too, figuring (correctly as it turned out) that if I started to become overwhelmed with the committment, or discouraged with my own lack of creativity, I would be able to turn to her for support and ideas.

It turned out that there were days when my mind just drew a blank. On those days I would call my sister, and she was there for me, offering encouragement, and sometimes an idea or two, to get me through the block in my brain.

I don't know how much I've helped Joan, but I want Joan to know that I really appreciate having her for a sister. So thanks Joan...together we survived NaBloPoMo...or is that Nipomoblomo?

Don't Mess With My Personal Space

2007-11-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Man Standing Practically on Top of me at the Pharmacy,

I realize that this may come as quite a bit of a shock to you, but I did not appreciate you standing so close to me while we were in line. My stepping away from you was not an invitation for you to move even closer to me, and those were not come hither looks that I was giving you.

I realize that being well over 6 feet tall and at least 300 pounds, gives you the sizable (groan, I just couldn't resist) advantage over most people. But, guess what??? I didn't appreciate your overbearing stature, or your breath and body odor. Thank goodness there was that tiny little sign that told you to wait where you were, and you were able to read the sign which afforded me some privacy as I made my pharmaceutical transaction. I'm curious to know, if that sign wasn't there, were you planning on joining me at the counter?

You were quite fortunate that the wait in line wasn't too long. Had you gotten any closer, or had the wait lasted even a few more minutes, you would have felt all of my sizable weight land on your big toe. ooops...sorry

Just thought you'd want to know,
The woman in front of you.

People Pleasers

2007-11-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

I think that the world is made up of two different kinds of people...The Self-Centereds...they're the ones who speak their mind and assume that everyone is going to agree with them, and anyone who doesn't agree with them must be a jerk...and... The People Pleasers...they're the ones who want everyone to like them and they don't like confrontation. Instead, they'd rather remain quiet about what they really think, or feel, so that no one will hate them or think that they're a jerk.

Sometimes, I feel like such a jerk.

They Call This Progress?

2007-11-28T06:16:00.000-08:00

Received this in an email from the Moose Buyer's sister. Being in education I can say for certain that the 2007 senarios certainly ring true. (how sad) Just in case you are wondering, I didn't attend school in 1957 (I'm not THAT old)...not that having been in school in 1957 makes you really old...I'm just saying that I personally wasn't in school in 1957. I better stop now and just let you read this for yourself.

Without further ado...

School in 1957 vs. School in 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Assistant principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. US Civil Liberties Union files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway, but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak or read English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Independence Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1957 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Sometimes It Pays To Make A Stink!

2007-11-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned before, DH bought a new car this past Friday. We decided to purchase a satellite tracking system for the car. We paid the money to the dealership, and an appointment was set for Saturday between 12 noon and 6pm for the system to be installed in the car, at our house. I won't bother you with all of the details, but suffice it to say, after many phone calls back and forth on Saturday, the system was NOT installed. In fact a technician was never sent to our house.

I spent part of Saturday afternoon and evening composing a lovely 2 page letter addressed to the Chairman and CEO of the company. Their corporate headquarters are located in the Eastern portion of the United States, so I woke up early Monday morning and called office of the Chairman and CEO of the company in order to get his email address. I spoke with his "executive assistant", "secretary", I don't really know her title, but she was very helpful and suggested that I send the email directly to the Vice President of Customer Care. Which I did, with a 'cc' to the Chairman/CEO.

When I arrived home this afternoon, I hadn't received any response from Mr V.P., so I decided to call his office directly. Surprise, surprise, surprise...he answered his own phone. I had a lovely conversation with Mr. V.P. He told me that he had received my email that morning, and had been in contact with someone on the West Coast, and he said that they had discussed my email extensively and he was quite surprised to hear that the West Coast person had not called me.

Within 5 minutes of ending my phone call with Mr. V.P., I received a phone call from "West Coaster" (WC). WC apologized for not calling me sooner (we all know she only called me, when she did, because she got chewed out by Mr. V.P.). She told me that they were sorry for the inconvience (lost time, implying that DH and I were liars...you know...minor stuff) they caused us and they wanted to try to make it up to us. She upgraded our system (approximately $100 value), said that she would send us free movie passes, and best of all, she made sure that a technician was at my house by 5pm this evening. In fact, she called me at 4:30pm to tell me that the technician might be a few minutes late, and then called me at 5:00pm on the dot to see if the technician had arrived.

Now that the system is on the car, and working, I hope that we never need it. Both DH and I are satisfied with how Mr. V.P reacted/responded to my letter. I'm thinking between my sister and I, if either of us need to make any extra money, we can always offer our letter writing services.

Post Birthday Rambling

2007-11-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful birthday yesterday. Elle and DH had gone shopping the day before and bought some great presents. (cause it was all about me).

Elle gave me a checkbook cover (from a store that begins with B and rhymes with frighten). Ten gave me a silver eyeglass holder for around my neck from the same store. And then both kids bought me a bright red shirt, because Elle thinks that I look good in that color.

We saw the movie "Enchanted" in the afternoon. It was cute for a Disney movie. I certainly left it smiling (and not just because it was over:~)

For the evening part of the festivities Joan and Rick came over and gave me a lavender scented neck warmer, and two small black purses (that I have been searching for, forever!). We then all drove to a restaurant, where we were met by my cousin The Moose Buyer. Dinner was delicious. Elle ran into some friends from school at the restaurant (which meant we didn't see her for awhile).

All in all, if one has to have a birthday...this one was tops in my book! (even if I never did get that nap)

Put Another Candle On My Birthday Cake...

2007-11-25T05:29:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday. I am ?? years old today. I'll admit to being 21, or even 31...o.k. fine, I'll admit to being 41...but I won't admit to any more. Let's just say, if you were to put another candle on my birthday cake, you would need to call the fire department first.

My plans for this day definitely do not include waiting for any service people. We'll go to services this morning, then I plan to take a long nap this afternoon. (cause that's what old people do...sigh) This evening I get to open my presents (cause it's all about me) and then we're planning to go out for my birthday dinner. I can hardly wait.

The Day After

2007-11-24T06:57:00.001-08:00

Things turned out much better yesterday that I could have hoped for. DH and Ten left about 9:30am to go to a friends house for an "After Thanksgiving Day breakfast". As DH was driving, he spotted a telephone company truck down the block, and the repairman working on a huge box (located at ground level). DH asked the repairman if he had an order for our address and he said he did. He added that he would be giving me a call within 15 minutes.

Within 10 minutes the repairman had called to tell me that there were loose wires in the box and that whenever a car went buy it loosened the connection and that is why our phone service to that line had been intermittent. He said that he didn't need to get into our house, because it looked like he had fixed the problem, but that he would call me back in 1 hour to be sure that the problem had been fixed. Which it was.

DH came home from the breakfast around 11am and then he and I went and purchased a new car for him. (I'm thinking that this counts as his birthday present for at least the next 20 years...lol). It's a black on black Acura TSX, and it is a beautiful machine! DH hasn't had a new car in almost 14 years, so he really deserves it. Today the satellite alarm people come to put a tracking device on the car sometime between noon and 6pm.

The waiting begins again. sigh

Calling 611..."Can Anybody Hear Me?"

2007-11-23T07:24:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the phone company can set up an appointment to check your line sometime between the hours of 8am and 6pm? How can they "run out of 4 hour window appointments"?

Fortunately, we have two phone lines in our house. Fortunately the computer is hooked up to the phone line that is still working. Fortunately we have cell phones in case of an emergency, (see, I'm still in the Thanksgiving mode:~) Unfortunately, (this is where reality sets in) we actually have things to do today. One of which is to go to a friends house for "Day after Thanksgiving breakfast" and the second thing is to go and buy DH a new car.

Of course the phone company needs someone over the age of 18 to be home at the time that they decide to stroll into our lives and repair the phone line. Leaving my 86 year old mother to deal with the repairman is not an option.

I hate waiting.

Thanksgiving 2007

2007-11-22T06:08:00.000-08:00

I just want to take the time today to wish everyone a happy healthy Thanksgiving. I figure that now is a good a time as any to list some things that I am thankful for...

Having the love of my husband, who despite our differences (or maybe because of them) is one heck of a wonderful man.

Having two wonderful healthy children (who sometime drive me crazy, but I love them anyway)

Having a sister who takes on some of the responsibilities for helping to care for our mother.

Having my mom still alive, and able to continue live with me.

Having a roof over our heads and food to fill our bellies. (we may not always have what we want, but we definitely have what we need)

Believing (from experience) that no matter what curves life throws my way, I will survive. (I may be miserable for a while, but the part of me that matters...the essence of me will survive).

That being said, I want to wish you a Happy, healthy Thanksgiving 2007, and to my friends in Canada, a happy healthy November 22nd.

The Letter "S"

2007-11-21T06:41:00.000-08:00

What we have here are four different kinds of snakes...the Boomslang Snake, the Rat Snake, The Viper Snake and The Car Salesman Snake. I think that when you classify Car Salesmen, they need to be filed under the letter "S"... for "smarmy, slimy, sleezy, slippery, snake". However, that might just insult the snake.

DH and I went to finally test drive the TSX. (Great little car by the way) We had an e-mail from the dealership with a price for the car that we thought was a good deal (based on our research).

The manager "AH" (I'm sure that you can figure out what his initials stand for) at this particular dealership tried to add on some garbage fees. This really pissed me off, because I knew that these fees were 'horsepucky'.

The salesman who had sent us the email quote, was not in last night, so the manager claimed that the salesman gave us the quote without the fees included. Fortunately, DH has been also speaking with someone at a different dealership. We'll go visit that dealership this weekend.

Needless to say, we left without the car.

These Wedding Dresses Are Made Out of What???

2007-11-20T06:43:00.000-08:00

I received an email with these photos. Seems that the dresses are made out of toilet paper. That's right...toilet paper. They were made for a contest. What you see here are the 3rd place winner and the 2nd place winner. (Disclaimer: For some reason, when I post these they are all lined up on the right and not how I set them up...sigh)

This dress won first place.

I sure hope it doesn't rain on her wedding day!

DH and the Car

2007-11-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

DH is looking for a new car. He wants to buy an Acura TSX. I've been after him to buy a new car since his last car 'died' (with over 200,000 miles) a year ago, but he wasn't quite ready to commit to a new car at that time. Since then, he's been driving my mother's car, which she hasn't been driving since she moved in with us, four years ago.

All of a sudden, DH has got a bug up his butt, and has decided that he needs to buy a car right now. He seems disappointed that I am not quite as enthuastic as he is about going to a car dealership and taking on the debt of a new car. A year ago, I was excited...now, not so much.

It's a beautiful car, and DH definitely deserves it. I just don't understand why he would decide that he needs a new car when my pay status is still unknown. His logic and timing are beyond me.

Someday I'll Get There

2007-11-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

I received these pictures in an email a while ago. They were taken during the Fall at Butchart Gardens, Victoria, B.C. , Canada. The beauty of all of these colors in nature just takes my breath away. Someday I'll get there!

What Color Is Your Blog?

2007-11-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Patti at Late Bloomer Boomer, told me about this test. Being blue evidently doesn't mean being depressed according to this test. No, instead the test tells me that:

"Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere."

"You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant."

"From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book. "

I guess that about sums it up. What color is your blog?

Name that Book...

2007-11-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

Joan, the Erstwhile Librarian, tagged me with this meme. She assured me that it was easy and fun. So, here are the rules:

Go to the Advanced book search on Amazon
Type your first name into the Title field
Post the most interesting/amusing cover that shows up

I find that I don't always follow directions, to the letter. ( I had some trouble picking only one book). Not that there are a load of books with the name 'Lynn' in the title. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of writers with the name Lynn, but since this meme isn't called "Finding authors with your name", I searched high and low for books with my name in their title.

This is what I found out...
My name can be associate with either the Victorian Era...
(Lynn In The Victorian Era)

or the not very Victorian age at all... (There were lots of Penthouse Magazines with the name Lynn on their cover)

Then again, this one might refer to the heartburn I've been experiencing.

(it's called "The Great Fires of Lynn")

or this one titled "The Distress of Lynn" could be referring to the angst that I am experiencing regarding my DH's family coming over to celebrate the holiday.

Given my last post... I am confident that book will answer the question..." Where is Lynn? and what is she doing with all of her clutter?"

Of course given the name of my blog 'A Tired Mama', I felt that I needed to include a book titled "Going Like Lynn" which I thought would give some insight into whay I am so tired. (clearly it must be due to all of my comings and goings)

So there you have it. I tag everyone who is currently participating in NaBloPoMo...Let's see if I have this right...Patches, Nancy Dancehall, Sari, Marsha, Shannon...and anyone else who would like to do this. Now I understand that your name might not appear in the title of a book...if that's the case, why don't you just pick a name that you like...or dislike...and give it a try.

His Family

2007-11-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

I was reading Leanne's blog the other day, and was grateful to read that she has come up with a name for "messy house syndrome". She calls it ' walk-in-the-house-and-drop-everything-wherever-you-want-itis'.

I am so happy that this disorder has a name, because my family suffers from this syndrome. In fact, we have a bad case of it...with no remedy in site.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. My DH's family has decided that they want us to host the family holiday get together this year. Mind you, I always host the get together for my family and friends (because they are all normal down to earth people). My DH's family are a different breed.

They all have exquisite taste (as does my DH, which is why he chose me to marry. lol) Fortunately for them, they have the money to match their expensive taste. Each one of their homes is a showcase. From tastefully decorated rooms to beautiful granite, lovely tile, and designer furniture...well I think you get the idea. The thing is, I always feel as if I am walking into a model home, or a museum, when I enter their houses. I can never get totally comfortable. When Elle and Ten were younger, I always worried that they might make a mess and "gasp" possibly spill something on the furniture or floor. Heck I still worry about it. I worry that I will somehow do something that might inadvertently shatter the perfectness of their houses.

My house, on the other hand, is decorated in the "lived-in" style. From our tile which is coming up in places, to carpeting (which needs to be replaced), and furniture that the kids have spilled who knows what on, all the way to the kitchen and bathrooms that need to be remodeled. We live in all of the rooms of our house, and it shows. While I envy, at times, the museum quality of some of DH's relatives homes, I prefer the comfort of mine.

I realize that this all sounds well and good, but here is the catch. Every time that DH's family comes over, I feel like they are turning their noses up, and looking down at us. While their houses are organized and clutter free, my house it a disorganized cluttered mess. No matter how much I try to keep it neat, I just can't. I have what is known at the 'drop and go' syndrome. It's where I come into the house and put things down right before I have to turn around and rush out of the house. My DH always says that I should put things back where they belong, which is easy for him to say since he isn't the one responsible for providing taxi service.

I know that I desperately need someone to come into my house and throw out 85% of the clutter that is there. I need someone to remind me that I don't need to save: old toys, clothes, books, games which we no longer use. For some reason, I find it hard to part with all of this "stuff". Consequently, not everything in my house has a place, hence the DVD's are on top of the T.V. cabinet. There are piles of mail on the kitchen counter. Lest you think it is only me, there are socks that Elle and Ten seem to like to leave lying around on the floor in both the living room and family room.

A few years ago, when we had fires burning right up the street, I loaded up my van at 1:30 in the morning with the stuff that was really important (other than the family and dog):clothes for a few days, medicine, photos, important papers, the tower from our desktop. Nothing else really seemed that important, at the time. So why oh why do I insist on keeping all of this stuff?

Wait a second, this post wasn't going to be about my clutter, it was supposed to be about how worried I am that DH's family is coming over for a holdiay celebration. I am already cringing at the though of their looks of superiority when they come into my house. This weekend, I will try to reduce the clutter downstairs, and pray that they won't want to come and see the upstairs of the house.

I don't know what to do about my feelings of inadequacy. My feelings of embarassment. My worry that they will proclaim our house a 'slum', not in the true sense of the word, but compared to their homes. I worry that their feelings of disdain will come across loud and clear.

Both Elle and Ten have friends who live in beautifully decorated/remodeled homes. They are not blind, and can see the differences for themselves. Elle and Ten know that if I were to work full time we could afford to have our home looking more pristine. They also know that I work part-time so I can pick them up from school and take them to their various activities. The kids know that they are our priority...much more so than having a showcase for a home. I have asked Elle and Ten if they would prefer to have a home with granite countertops and new flooring, or do they prefer having me home for them. Both of them, without hesitation, chose having me at home for them. (yeah for values)

Then why after all of this rambling, am I worried, embarassed, and feeling inadequate about what his family will think?

Five Things Meme

2007-11-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

Joan has tagged me with this fun meme.

Five Things...

Found In My Room (I chose the bedroom)
Bed
Books
Desk
Lamp
and a huge pile of who knows what! (I'm too nervous to actually tackle this pile)

I've Always Wanted to Do
Visit Australia (I want to see if the toilets really flush counterclockwise)
Visit Africa (I've heard that there is nothing like going on a safari)
Visit Fiji (some fun on those gorgeous beaches would be nice)
Visit Brazil (DH and I have a friend living there)
Visit Western Canada (I've seen Eastern Canada, love to see Western Canada)

Found In My Bag
Wallet
Glass case
Calendar
Pens
empty gum wrappers (what can I say, Elle takes a piece of gum and throws the wrapper into my purse)

Found In My Wallet
Driver's license
Credit cards
Insurance cards
Prescription for my dogs special food
face mask in case I ever have to do CPR (notice I did not mention money)(see below)

I'm Currently Into
Trying to get my pay check straightened out (like that will ever happen)(hence no $ in the wallet)
Blogging everyday (thanks alot NaBloPoMo)
Decluttering my house (that oughta take a few years)
Writing reports for work (will they ever end?)
Reading a trashy book (helps me escape writing those reports)

So the rules say I get to tag 5 blogging friends. I tag Patches, Nancy Dancehall, Marsha, Leanne, Lynanne, Enjoy!

What Was Once Unfinished is Now Finished

2007-11-13T06:48:00.000-08:00

The other day I was talking about an unfinished desk and hutch that I had ordered for Ten. After much delay, said items were picked up by me. I spent this past weekend 'finishing' the two pieces. Now they're done. Here they are...before and after.

My legs, back and arms are killing me. Clearly I was contorting into various positions in order to stain the sides and bottoms of these pieces. I have just one thing to say about this...I hereby promise myself that I will never-ever, ever, ever, again purchase unfinished furniture again. Yeah, right.

I Am Getting A Swelled Head!

2007-11-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

I was perusing (notice the intelligent word?) the internet, and came upon this thingy (o.k. so this word isn't so intelligent...let's just ignore my lack of word finding skills, shall we?). As I was saying...I found this thingy and look what it has to say about my blog.

Genius, that's right, my blogs reading level is genius... Sigh... but, I'm a Sagittarian.

Veteran's Day 2007

2007-11-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

Today is Veteran's Day. A day to reflect on those who have selflessly served our country. My father was a veteran of WWII (the war after the war to end all wars). When he died at the ripe old age of 86, a flag was draped upon his coffin and then presented to my mother. On behalf of my family, I want to take the time today to thank all the servicemen and servicewomen who serve our country and protect our freedom. May they come home safe and sound.

You'll Never Catch Me Doing This!

2007-11-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of the Millau viaduct which is part of the A75-A71 expressway. It connects Paris and Beziers. I don't know about you but I don't think that I could ever drive across it unless I was given lots and lots of sedatives and chained to the vehicle. ( Acrophobia anyone?) Just looking at this picture gives me heart palpitations. If you click on the picture, it will bring up a larger photo, and you will see what I am talking about.

Not that I'm going to get to Paris anytime soon. sigh

This Post is Brought To You By The Numbers 2, 6, 13 and 19.

2007-11-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

Four years ago, after 'finishing' Ten's entire bedroom set, I promised myself that I would never buy unfinished furniture again. Then, two years ago we bought Elle an unfinished desk and hutch for her room. After 'finishing' those two items, I once again promised myself that I would never buy unfinished furniture again.

Having evidently forgotten my promise to myself, I foolishly ordered an unfinished desk and hutch for Ten back on August 3rd. I was told when I ordered these items that they would be available for pick up in 6 weeks. After just two phone calls to the store in the past 13 weeks I was told that the desk and hutch were finally in the warehouse, and that I could pick them up yesterday. Yeah, right...I bet you know where this story is heading.

So Saturday, Elle and I decided to drive about 20 miles to the warehouse to pick up the items. Although we had been told that someone would be there to meet us, no one was there. I had to call the store and was told that someone would meet us at the warehouse in 20 minutes. I figured after waiting 13 weeks that I could wait 20 more minutes.

Unfortunately, there was a 'small' problem with the desk. Jorge (original salesman) assured me that it was an easy thing to fix, and that the desk would be ready by Monday. Because I have been so patient, he would arrange to have the items delivered to my house...on November 24th. Deciding that I didn't want Ten to have to wait for his desk an additional 19 days, I said that I would pick everything up on Monday. Of course the desk wasn't ready by Monday. I had to wait until Tuesday to pick it up.

Clearly the salesman doesn't know the difference between the numbers 2 and 19 as they pertain to days; or the number 6 and the number 13 as they pertain to weeks. Maybe I should give him some old Sesame Street videos. I think The Count would like to be his friend. Of course if I listened to my own advice, I would not be facing the task of finishing furniture, yet again. I wonder if there is a Sesame Street video about listening to yourself.

At least I know what I will be doing this weekend.

Ubiquity

2007-11-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

I don't know what is wrong with my brain, but it doesn't seem to be functioning properly. Last night DH was sitting at the dining room table (after dinner) and looking at the newspaper. He asked "What does 'ubiquity' mean?"

I knew intuitively what the word meant. I understood it's meaning, and could have used it in a sentence, but for the life of me I was unable to state the definition. Fortunately, I was on-line at the time and was able to look up the word and provide DH with the definition. But it bothered me. Not that I had to look up the word for the definition, but that I was unable to fire my brain cells to provide the definition.

I seem to do that a lot. I read words in a book, and I know what they mean without having to look them up. Yet if someone asks me to define a word, even if they provide the sentence for the word so that I understand the context, I find that I am at a loss for words.

I'm not talking about difficult words, I have problems with everyday words too. I think that my brain is going to mush.

Payroll Fiasco

2007-11-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

I believe that I've mentioned that I work for a large urban school district. This district rolled out a new payroll program 11 months ago. The payroll program (BTS) is an unmitigated disaster. Thousands of employees have either not been paid, have been underpaid, or in my case have been overpaid.

One would think that being overpaid is a good thing. I can tell you from first hand experience that it isn't. The financial implications, as we approach the end of the 2007 year, are overwhelming. We have been told that we have until December 10th to pay back any overpayments made to us, and we will be able to pay them back at the net rate (because the district will have time to recoup the taxes that they've paid to the gov't). If we don't pay the money back before December 10th, then we will have to pay back the gross amount.

I spent a good portion of yesterday (from 8am-3pm) at the Districts downtown headquarters, trying to get clarification as to exactly how much I've been overpaid. No one was able to give me an amount. Not Michael in payroll. Not Michael's supervisor Julianne. Nor Yvette. Isabelle from Human Resources tried to help me out, under the watchful eye of her supervisor Colleen, but no one could give me any information.

They all told me that I would have to wait until the next 'payroll run' which won't happen until November 15th. I was told that after that run, I will get a letter telling me the amount I owe. Knowing this district, as I do, I figure the letter won't even get to me until after the December 10th deadline.

Guess where I'll be on November 16th.

Are you Stoopid?

2007-11-06T05:45:00.000-08:00

Elle asked me to take this test. Turns out I'm not stupid at all, much to Elle's surprise. What about you? Are you up to the challenge? Click here to take the test.

What Makes A Person, Personable?

2007-11-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

There must be something in the air relating to words, play on words, and language in general. Patches has been posting about it.

Then last night Elle, my thirteen year old daughter, asked me this question. Maybe you can help me with the answer.

"If a person who eats another person is called a cannibal, then why isn't a person who eats from a can called a personable?".

O.K., clearly she didn't understand the meaning of the word personable, or even how funny what she asked was, but I couldn't stop cracking up.