Sunday, September 30, 2007

Shopping Spree

Joan and I took Twelve shopping yesterday to look for some clothes. Twelve has two events to go to (reluctantly) and she needed a dress to wear. We found a wonderful dress (which Aunt Joan picked out) and some darling shoes for Twelve, along with a couple of tops. As an added bonus, I found a skirt and top to wear to one of the events, a couple of tops, and a pair of boots. Joan still wasn't feeling 100% so she didn't purchase anything, but she certainly had a jolly good time spending my money for me... and I am greatful!

While shopping in one of the stores, Twelve asked me when she was going to be able to get her ears pierced. (This is something that we had discussed, and decided that she would be able to do for her 13th birthday. I had mentioned to DH, earlier in the morning, that I might have Twelve get her ears pierced while out shopping...he thought that would be a fabulous idea. ) When she asked me and I told her that I was planning on having them done while shopping, her face lit up. The look of wonder, excitement, and awe at what I had just said, was absolutely precious.

We found a store that does 'free' ear piercing and gives you 'complimentary' cleaner. Yeah hahaha. It's free for the ear piercing, but they charge you for the earrings.

So now between the gorgeous dress, cute shoes and pierced ears, Twelve looks, in her words 'hot'. I'm not sure how I feel about that. That's a post for another day.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Keeping My Mouth Shut

I feel as if I am walking a fine line. Twelve has been complaining since the end of the summer, that her friend, formerly known as Eventempered, is a B*tch! I observed some of the b*tchy behavior when the two girls were volunteering at a Girl Scout Camp for 1 week in August.

I've also observered, in the past, Twelve acting the same way towards Eventempered, and spoke to her about her behavior at that time. Now they have two classes together, and Twelve complains about Eventempered to me at least once a week.

Eventempered's mother and I remain friends. We are both there for each other, willing to pick up each other's younger children from school, when needed. We are both aware of the current unrest between our two angelic daughters.

I have found out about a fabulous Girl Scout event that is set to take place in January. Twelve does not want me to tell Eventempered's mother about the event, because she does not want Eventempered to go (even driving seperately with her mother). I feel awkward because I know that my friend would definitely want Eventempered to attend this event, yet I cannot mention the event (which is being put on by a different service unit) to my friend because Twelve is adamant that she does not want Eventempered attending this event. (The only way that my friend would find out about this event is if I tell her about it)

Now I have to be careful what I say to my friend, and certainly as January approaches, remember to keep my mouth shut. That is not an easy thing for me to do. Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? If so, what did you do?

Monday, September 24, 2007

It's Definitely Not Doublemint Gum

I am now on double the dose of the little purple pill. I don't think taking it twice a day will be 'double the fun'. Getting older stinks!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I'm Baaaaack

I think that I must have fallen into some sort of time-warp continuum. That is the only explanation I can come up with for my basically being absent from blogging for 6 days. Where in the heck did the time go?

I went to work, took the kids to various activities, suddenly I turned around and I had lost six days. Six precious days of visiting with my blogging friends. That's about 144 hours of zoning out. Could I be losing my mind? Could I have been abducted by aliens? Could time have suddenly speeded up?

Oh wait, never mind, I think I know what happened...the newscasters predicted a 'freak' early winter storm. Each day they kept saying that it was coming. Finally, there was a very strange phenomenon that occured here in Southern California. The temperature fell below 70 degrees and water fell from the sky. It must have shifted my mind into a different vortex, in which blogging did not exist.

Thank goodness I have successfully fought my way out of it. I'm baaaaack.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Only Time Will Tell

This has been a hectic week. Work has been busy, and I now have an 'Associate Teacher' working with me 3 days/week. She is a graduate student, and will have her Masters Degree and Credential at the end of this semester.

Right now, she is overwhelmed at the number of students that I see everyday. I've told her that sometimes I am overwhelmed too. She has been meeting my students for the first time, and will start providing therapy the end of this week. I am excited to see what she has learned in school. I figure that if she has made it this far in the graduate program, then she must be pretty smart.

Time will the meantime, everything is taking twice as long to complete, because I am taking the time to explain to her what I am doing and I am trying to get her to think in a way that she hasn't had to think before (ie: real world thinking, not academic thinking). If all goes according to plan, we will be able to accomplish quite a bit in the time that we are together. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


The other night, I was sitting at the dining room table with my mother and Twelve. We were all eating, when my mother and I had the following conversation:

Mom - Is that all you're eating?

Me - Yeah, my stomach is bothering me.

Mom - Is this something new?

Me - No, I have acid reflux.

Mom- What's that? I've never heard of it.

Me - It's what dad had.

Mom - Really ? I don't remember my mother telling me that he had that.

Me - Not YOUR dad...MY dad.

Mom- (with a somewhat blank look on her face) He had that? I didn't know.

Me - Mom, remember he used to eat a lot of Tums and sleep with the head of his bed elevated?

Mom - No, I don't remember that.

I feel so sad, that after 53 years of marriage, it is evident that my mother doesn't remember my dad. True he died six years ago, but I would have thought that he would have remained in her long term memory. I guess that she only remembers people from her childhood, and people from now...everyone in between is gone to her.

Whenever I mention my dad in conversation, my mom looks at me with a slightly lost look. She smiles and nods her head at the right times, but never volunteers any information about the two of them, or their life together. She done that with events from the past, but somehow, I continued to believe that she remembered my dad. My dad...her husband for G-d's sake! How could she not know who I was talking about? I thought that her dementia was affecting only her short term memory. I now see that she's been robbed of much of her long term memory as well. This makes me so sad, and truly breaks my heart.

My mother has a picture, sitting on her dresser, of my mother and father together looking at the camera and smiling. I wonder who she thinks the man is. I don't have the heart, or the courage, to ask her. I've known, for a few years, that she has forgotten much of my childhood. As sad as that's made me feel, at least she still remembers me...but now I know that she doesn't remember my dad...and that hurts me to my very core.

Monday, September 10, 2007

The Joys Of Aging

The stars must be aligning in a strange way. Recently, Meno blogged about AARP, then today, a friend of mine sent me an email with the following bumper stickers. My birthday isn't until the end of November. Could the universe be trying to tell me something?

Saturday, September 8, 2007

My Dilemma

My co-leader, from Girl Scouts, emailed me yesterday and wanted to know if I would be available for meetings this year and if so, when I would be available. My first thought, my knee-jerk reaction, was Friday afternoons. The same afternoons that I have been available for the last 7 years.

I know that I said that I was done with being a Girl Scout leader. I know that Twelve certainly does not want to be involved with most of the girls in the troop. Did I mention, that I know that I said that I was done??? So why do I feel a pull to continue to remain involved with the troop?
I think that part of the reason is that I am a creature of habit, and because of that quirk in my personality, I am drawn to continue to engage in activities that I am used to...(Girl Scouts being one of them). Some of these habits are good for me and some are probably not so good for me. I am torn as to where being a Leader falls.

On one hand, I think that it's important to give back to my community and model that behavior for my children. On the other hand, some of the girls in the troop were very mean to Twelve after the Flinger incident. (see here, and here, and here for more on that). On the first hand, I love participating (and learning from) many of the girl scout activities. On the second hand, I can sign up to do many of the activities with Twelve, I don't need to be a leader.

Here's the catch...the flaw, if you will, in my personality. I will take a deep breath now and disclose it...I am basically a very lazy person. I will often take the easy way out. I don't leaf through the paper to see what fabulous activities I can take my family to. If someone else, who has already done the research, tells me about something, I will check it out...that is if I am not too busy, don't get distracted, and don't forget. Although I am fiercely independent, I am also a follower. (This bugs the heck out of Twelve, who can't seem to understand why I don't chime in with my opinion when my co leader decides she wants to do something. The truth is that I often don't really care one way or another, and I am happy to let someone else make the decision).

My thoughts are that if I continue to be the leader, my co-leader will remind me, and motivate me to check into what activities are coming up. (She's very good at that). If I don't continue to be a leader, then the burden of researching and following up on the pre-requirements for the Gold Award, as well as motivating Twelve to work on it alone, will all fall on my shoulders. I am afraid that although Twelve says that she wants to work on her Gold Award (once she's in High School), that I will not push, encourage, motivate her enough, without the nudge from my co-leader. I think that it is really important that Twelve earn her Gold Award.

I guess the bottom line is that there is a little part of me that hopes that if I continue to be involved in the troop, Twelve will eventually "come around" and participate in the troop again. Then I can continue to be lazy. I know, how can I call myself lazy when I: work part time, am the primary caregiver for my elderly mother, am a mother of a Twelve and Ten year old, volunteer at the Sunday School 1-2 Sunday's per month, and am willing to take on a girl scout troop again? Well it's easy, because even though I do all of those things, my tendency is still to take the easy way out. Just because I am busy doesn't mean that I am not lazy.

I need to get back to my co-leader, soon, and let her know what my decision is. I did tell her in the spring that since Twelve wasn't going to be involved with the troop ( I did tell her why), that my involvement was pretty much over. So why oh why, am I facing this dilemma? Why am I so insecure in my ability to make the right decision that I am 'wishy-washy'? I don't know the answers to those questions, I just know that I need some help making this decision.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Can You Say Swamped?

The school year started, and I have been swamped. Actually, inundated is also a good word to describe the amount of paperwork I have to go through and generate in order to start working with my kids. It shouldn't take so much effort just to be able to set up groups and see kids. Maybe through all of this craziness, I will somehow have an epiphany as to how to streamline the 'beginning of the school year' procedures.

Hopefully, by tonight, I will have inputted all of the information into the computer system, that needs to be inputted, so that I will have the weekend to relax before I start seeing students next week. I'm working on it. I have a little while before I have to pick Ten up from school, so I will endeavor to catch up on your blogs. I mean, yeah sure, getting all of the work done is important, but so is's just that work pays the bills.

Breathe in...breathe out.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

The Renaming of Twelve

In exactly one month from today, Twelve will become Thirteen. Egads. I will officially become the mother of a teenager.

Having survived this past year as Twelve's mother, I certainly feel that I have had a taste of what is to come. Notice I said a taste, and not I know what is to come. I am trying to figure out whether or not I will refer to Twelve as Thirteen. I've gotten so used to calling her Twelve, that sometimes I call her that when I am speaking about her, as if that is her real name. Shocked are you that Twelve isn't her real name? I know it's hard to believe. I mean each of you must know at least ten girls with that name. Wasn't one of your best friends in 7th grade called Twelve?

I've decided that since DH and I named Twelve at her birth, and my sister and Twelve helped me name Twelve for the purpose of this blog, I feel that it's only right for my blog friends to help me come up with a name for Twelve once she becomes Thirteen. (Twelve has requested that she have some input in the choice of her new name.) I know that I can call her Thirteen, but that means that next year (provided that I am still blogging) I will have to once again change her name and start calling her Fourteen. And that also means that these fingers will have to get reused to typing a different name for her every year.

So...any suggestions?

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Scheduling Conflicts

Ten has signed up (courtesy of DH) to play both soccer, and fall ball (baseball). Both seasons run from September to November/December. Soccer practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays with games on Saturdays. Fallball practice on Thursday night (after soccer) and Saturday mornings, with games on Sunday.

Wait, hold on just a minute...did I just say Saturday soccer games and Saturday fallball practices. Yes as a matter of fact, I did. We informed the Baseball coach, that Ten will definitely miss 2 of the Saturday morning (9:30-11:00) practices, because he has games at 10:30 on two Saturdays, plus he will have to leave early from practices on two of the Saturdays, because he has 11:30 Soccer games on two Saturdays.

Normally, all practices are during the week, and playing soccer on Saturday and baseball on Sunday, seemed like it was doable. (even though it would totally take up our weekends) For some reason, the baseball coach wants to hold practice on Saturdays, and there is nothing we can do about it. If Ten was just playing fallball then Saturday practices would be fabulous because DH would be able to be at every one. Since Ten is also playing soccer, there is definitely a conflict in the schedule. Nothing we can do about that, except make the games the priority and the practices less of a priority. Fortunately, Ten is a really good baseball player, so missing the practices shouldn't be the end of the world.

I'm just hoping that next fall, Ten will be able to pick one sport to participate in.